Who Do You Tell That You Have Ptsd?

[OKRADLAK]

(((((COMPLICATED)))))) Sending you hugs, too!! Why would people throw it in your face? Why are people so mean? I am afraid every day to go back to work and am probably quitting except when I have nothing to do all day, things become a nightmare in my mind even by 10am . A day is so long and the thoughts never stop. I go to distract.

 

[Complicated]

Thanks! I havn't completely figured out the answer to that one yet. At this stage I am going with the standpoint that they just dont understand what it is like to have to live with this everyday and they dont understand the everyday needs that go with trying to live with it. Good luck with dealing with the job situation!

 

[Pippi]

I have told a few very close friends (two of whom are my employers--they are husband and wife and the wife also has PTSD), my therapist, and my partner. My father doesn't know that that is my diagnosis, because he was the major perpetrator and I just don't feel like having that conversation with him. It's difficult enough having a normal relationship with him as it is. He thinks I have been diagnosed with panic disorder.

I tend to tell people only after they have noticed odd behavior from me, feel hurt and confused by my reaction to something they did or said, or wonder why I drop off the face of the Earth now and then.

Generally, I don't think it is anyone else's business and, like others have said, I am wary of judgment and minimizing language. I have told people about certain experiences I have had, and often they respond with, "That's not a big deal" or "Plenty of people have dealt with that." Yes, plenty of people have. And those people suffer just as much as I do. Ugh. I just find the process of explaining all of this and the constant FIGHTING against other people's misconceptions so exhausting, and often not worth it.

In short, choose wisely.

 

[missd84]

Thank you for your support Okradlak and Complicated. It is sad that we have to deal with the added stress of people not understanding. I want to accept that they just don't understand, althought it's really hard to do sometimes.

 

[drgnfl2078]

I have never hidden the fact that I have PTSD...from anyone really. I don't devulge the intimate details to every single person I tell...but nor will I hide it. It is a part of me...and I think it has really worked out for me because coworkers, friends, family knows if I'm going through something that I just am going through something and its okay.

 

[Gamereign555]

I did feel compelled to tell somebody else, so I told a stranger when I was working, I forgot the situation.. I was helping him jump start his truck and he was talking about his brother in the navy and that he did welding on the growler jets on the nearby navy base. Somehow I felt my window to tell him, I was pretty anxious back then...

For the most part strangers don't care. I told one guy and he was like 'so do you just go to your happy place?'
What the hell is a happy place?? Honestly. Ohh and people will automatically ask if you were in the military and when you say no they will ask you 'how did you get it?' in sort of a bewildered way. People as a whole are retarded and uneducated and if they knew what it was they wouldn't exactly be asking the questions they might ask you. Be prepared to elaborate some.

Family was good to tell, my mother was there for me while the post traumatic stress was full on but after my diagnosis she cut off contact with me, we haven't talked in 6 months. I don't live close to my family though. The rest of my family does understand that I have ptsd, though some don't know what it is and others don't understand what that means for me really, it hasn't changed anything with my family. At least my mother was close to me again for a few months. Telling family made sense to me so I did, and it worked okay, I want them to know what is going on with me.

I told my boss, but the gamble paid off. I was sick for 3 months and could not work, being that I worked in hotel maintenance..things were getting pretty bad without somebody there. He is a good guy though, a business man of course but he tells it like it is. Sure there are laws against firing someone who is sick but at some point, being the sick person you have to think that if you don't get back to work soon there isn't going to be a job left for me and that for me was reality.

 

[SpokaneSunshine]

I haven't told anybody yet, and I'm not sure that I will. I don't want my mom to cry. I can't burden my ex-husband with it, and I'm not really his problem anymore. The one friend I would have told, who would have understood, is dead. Most other people (okay I don't know a lot of people) know of my traumatic experience, but I don't feel comfortable adding this to the mix. I don't even understand myself, so I can't expect others to.

My employers know about my traumatic event, but they don't know about this PTSD diagnosis. My life is rapidly falling apart, and I've recently approached them to modify my work duties, which they've agreed to and I very much appreciate it.

When the event first happened, people were anxious to know all of the details. I can't blame them, they were in shock as much as I was, even though they didn't witness it. They were confused, hurt, etc., and I was in so much shock I divulged everything I had to try to make them feel better. Looking back, it feels like a massive gang rape. I was so violated, and never even realized I needed to be protecting myself.

Anyway, thanks for posting this question! I was wondering the same thing.

 

[Tinyflame]

Ya, I used to think it was harder to 'hear it', now I wonder if it's harder on 'us', -maybe at best 'both'.
Especially repercussions/ fall out/ aftermath too. From the 'outside' (and also) 'self-inflicted'. :(

 

[Kb3]

In the beginning I hated the thought of upsetting people I know with what happened to me, and I also hated that it might become a "story" for others to tell. I was really bothered by the idea of becoming an object of pity, the latest bit of gossip making the rounds to be forgotten about long before I was over it.

I had a therapist who seemed to be collecting people's upsetting stories. I know this because she would tell me about what happened to her other patients, much as I would tell her not to. She seemed to get her kicks out of being the one who "knew" all these things. It was one of the reasons I stopped going to her.

Another reason was that it really bothered me that the worst thing that had ever happened to me probably became a canned story for her to tell. Stupid human tricks for dinner parties. I didn't tell her everything about my trauma for that reason, I just didn't trust her.

Now that I am getting a better handle on what happened and am not as symptomatic, I am considering taking a more activist role. If I am able to retain control of who, how and why I am telling it, it might be all right, and I love the idea of being able to help other people who have been affected by the same trauma because I know how isolating and destructive it is. I am already doing this in a small way on the internet, and it feels good.

I am meeting a researcher tomorrow to be interviewed about therapies I have used to process my trauma. I am nervous to speak so directly to a complete stranger about what happened, but I also want to contribute to the body of knowledge that is being collected. It is for her dissertation and it would be amazing if it made a difference in the circles that she will bring it to. I hope I feel safe enough to be of some help without feeling that I am giving too much. I really hope that I don't regret doing it:(.

 

[Rob_Dog19]

I only tell the people that I know care about me. Some people do need to know, most people don't. Not everyone in my family even knows. It really comes down to who are you comfortable telling?

 

[carrieon]

I shared my C-PTSD my employer as I was going through an exceptionally difficult time and was afraid it would impact my work performance. I was told I had to leave personal issues at the door and put my head down and do my job. I don't think he meant to sound completely unsympathetic but it just further substantiated in my mind that people really do have no idea about mental health.
I've decided to keep my diagnosis to myself after this and only really discuss it in a safe space with my therapist.

 

[Miss_Understood]

Hardly anyone, only ones I trust.