Who Else Has Had A Rough Day Today?

[Emotional Retard]

Hey, I just kinda need to vent right now. I hope you guys don't mind! My mother is effing psychotic. It drives me crazy... and scares me.

- This morning had to take my kitten, Oliver, to the vet. All day yesterday she was setting things up for a fight. Just little comments here and there. I would do my best to shut them down or ignore her, but she just wouldn't stop. With anyone else I would say that she just wasn't getting the hint, but she effing knows. That's why she was doing it in the first place. Then this morning she detonated the bomb she had built the day before. And she's so completely nuts. She wanted to be the one to take Oliver to the vet. She wanted me to stay home and for her to take him. I kept saying, "Mom, I am taking MY kitten to the vet, but I would love for you to come WITH me." Finally, at the worst part of the fight, she yelled, "Oh, so you want to be the one to take him just because he's your cat???" She said it like I was the one being ridiculous, overbearing, and intrusive for taking MY (MY!!!!!) cat to the freaking vet.

- Later today, in the afternoon, I had to pick up Oliver from the vet. My mother insisted on going with me - and driving. She always has to be in control. Of course, she had to add a whole bunch of extra stuff for HER cat onto my bill, and it all added up to almost $100! I can't afford that! And who knows if she'll ever pay me back. I was so upset.

- The whole way home, of course, she drove like a crazy person. We had so many "almost accidents." I almost threw up. And God forbid I ever say anything about it. I barely whispered, "Please, slow down", and she just drove even worse. Poor Ollie, fresh from surgery, was being tossed around, even though I tried my best to keep him anchored. It's hard trying not to lose your seat and keep a kitten in a kennel stable. I felt so bad for him. He hates car rides anyway.

- The worst part of the day was when we were driving to the vet the second time, and out of nowhere she asked me the worse effing question. "Anna, if I died tomorrow, would you know that I loved you?" Words can't even describe how much those words hurt. OF COURSE SHE DOESN'T!!!!! If she loved me, she wouldn't treat me the way she does. But it sucks because of course she has me locked in a lose-lose situation. I certainly can't tell her that I don't think she loves, but I also can't not answer her question (because, to her, that's even worse than lying). I just said, "Duh, of course I know you love me because you let me listen to my favorite song all the time." And then I got out of further discussion by turing on said song as loud as I possibly could.

It's been a rough day, guys.

 

[jd9900]

I am not giving advice - I too am hanging on by a thread. I'm just here to tell you I know very much what you are feeling like and going through. The only true advice I can share that i focus on myself is this - is what I have done today helped or hurt me, and how can I make it better so it helps me more and hurts me less?

For me, the past 2 days have been largely out of my control and I have not reacted well. But I am trying to reel in everything and remember the things i can work with and acknowledge the things I can't.

Keep your head up. I've kept mine up long enough to type this, and about an hour ago I didn't think that would be a possibility.

Every positive step is another step. And if we are all in it for the journey, we should appreciate those steps.

God Speed. You're not alone.

 

[Emotional Retard]

@jd9900, thank you so much for your words :joyful: I definitely relate to you because I always feel like things are mostly out of my control, especially with my mother. She always finds a way to destroy me no matter how hard I try to prevent it...

Would you care to talk about what you're going through? It might make us both feel better.

 

[Mayday]

Is that your kitten in your profile pic? He's gorgeous :)

 

[Emotional Retard]

Is that your kitten in your profile pic? He's gorgeous :)

Thank you :)

 

[anonymous]

Based upon the information available to me at this time..


Your mother is a sociopath!
This is unacceptable behavior.
I am so pissed off this is happening to you.
Every day was like that for me when I was trying to finish high school. They f*cking try to pretend after like they have done nothing wrong. f*ck THAT

 

[The Albatross]

Lots of bells and whistles going off about your trip to the vet. What made your mother think it was okay to put $100 more items onto your vet bill for her animal?

Past behavior gives us a reasonable predictor of the future... so I think next time if or when there is one, I'd be sticking to my initial assessment that I want to take my pet to the vet and I can handle it all by myself thank you mother.

The weird question about the knowing that she loved you thing is something my own mother does... with this weird personality switching thing where she looks sullen or angry, locks eyes with me and says cryptically "You're just like me, you're going to be just like me you know." And it freaks me out... "No I'm not, NO I am the hell not" I think to myself but no words come out, I just arch an eyebrow tuck my chin and stare back.