Why Do I Always Feel Like Something Bad Is About To Happen?

[searchingforserenity]

This feeling has always haunted me throughout my entire struggle with PTSD, but it seems to be getting worse now that I'm actually facing it. It's almost constant and it's debilitating. I'm not sure why I can't just be happy =( Does anyone else struggle with this? What do you do to overcome it? What causes this? =(

 

[sun seeker]

I would guess most of us do, or have. But there will be better times and worse times. Can you describe what it is like for you? Is there a theme, or something in particular you are afraid will happen, or is it more of a generalized dread? What are the physical symptoms? Is there anything that makes it better, or worse?

As for what causes it and why you can't just be happy, it's part of PTSD. Terrible things really have happened, and the brain is expecting more, so to speak. I am pretty symptomatic right now so not the best person to answer how to overcome it, except in general terms by asking if you are in therapy.

 

[Rumors]

Yep, always waiting on the other shoe to drop. Not always the most rewarding way to live. Hang in there!

 

[Fadeaway]

You mean that's not normal? I would love to know what it feels like to not feel that way most of the time.

 

[RussH]

yep we all feel that way. I would suspect that it is another form of hyperviligence.
It really stinks doesn't it.

 

[holdenmonty]

Ooooo yeah, luckily with meds and therapy I have gotten to the point that I'm ok with "normal" but if anything good happens then I'm always wondering what bad is going to happen.

 

[Fayth]

Almost daily I get this feeling and it's very real, can't shake it.... I also get the feeling that I am in trouble like I just got caught doing something wrong....

 

[Ocean5]

Searchingforserenity - I'm new here too and can relate all to well

It is very debilitating.

I started getting help recently for first time. Things got worse leading up to first meeting - it's been down, down and some ups since then. I guess sometimes one gets worse before better. But I know I need help - I don't want to continue to live like this. I want help.

- There are medicines that might help (although some can be very addictive.)
- Therapist recommended a guided meditation app daily called HeadSpace - I've also started using the app Calm.
- I try to ground myself and bring myself into present moment. I have a rock I keep in my pocket (quartz crystal) I hold to try to bring myself into present moment.
- I try to remind myself I've felt like this so often before, and nothing bad's happen (least most times.)

Yes it's a truly awful feeling, and I've found most others don't understand at all unless they have experienced it. I open up to so few. Recently had a very caring (& concerned) relative tells me she doesn't understand what I'm going through, but to try to find a way to move-on & to not think about past. She meant well, but I rarely think about youth - I don't remember most of it.

But from what I'm learning about PTSD the body remembers. Even if you're not thinking about past - the body still remembers. It reacts with fright/flight. I listened to this postcast recently by trauma specialist Dr. Bessel van der Kolk that helped me to understand myself better. Forum won't let me post since I'm new, but Google "onbeing Beseel van der Kolk" to listen

Terrible things really have happened, and the brain is expecting more

That makes so much sense.. Thank you

 

[Ocean5]

I'm not sure why I can't just be happy =( Does anyone else struggle with this? What do you do to overcome it? What causes this? =(

Searching I didn't want to distract from you're question, but my reply...
https://www.myptsd.com/threads/dread-daily-fear-parent-childhood.50944/

 

[Yvy]

I recognise this too. I'm afraid to live in the now or practice this with mindfulness, I have to the idea that I have to be on guard every moment for something bad that will come 'around the corner'. Or something that happened yesterday and earlier and that will try to knock me down once I relax.

Might practicing mindfulness help you? Learning that thoughts are just thoughts and you don't have to listen to them? Writing in a 'positive' book everyday or practicing gratitude this way? Learning that *if* something can happen you can cope/ handle it? Deep breathing exercises every day..
Writing down what exactly you're afraid of to go wrong: Maybe you can find triggers or thoughts that are not reality. And put something positive in it's place.

These are things I'm trying and sometimes they seem to work... I hate that if you do something nice/ positive that fear also comes up and ruins the nice moments..... My therapist says that you've frozen feelings from childhood (if your traumas are from your childhood) because you couldn't cope with them then and when something happens now the feelings will come up. But because they hurt and your afraid you can't handle them now (although your grown now so you should be able too) you're body reacts like when you were a child with pushing it away and then the fear that something bad will happen kicks in... And then your mind takes over (superego) and comes up with nasty things to keep you busy and away from what you're really feeling..
At least that's the way it seems to be with me... Don't know if you recognise something of this....

 

[Ocean5]

My last quote was edited/moderated (with no way to reply to moderator??) Please correct.

This feeling has always haunted me throughout my entire struggle with PTSD, but it seems to be getting worse now that I'm actually facing it. It's almost constant and it's debilitating.(

Thanks

 

[joeylittle]

@Ocean5, quoting full posts is not allowed on the forum. We edit them down to what appears to be the necessary content. If you need to discuss this further, either hit the "report" button on your own post or start a thread in the help desk. Thanks!