Why does my therapist want me to cry?

[marina37968]

hi my name is laura and i go to therapy and my therapist keeps bugging me to cry in therapy when i cant why does she do that.

 

[Keming]

Therapy is rough. Gratz for working with a therapist.

Perhaps your therapist believes you deeply need to express pain or grief. Expressing ourselves can be a pretty big hurdle.

If crying isn't your thing, tell her. "I don't cry. I'm feeling pressured by you." Maybe that would be a good conversation to have.

 

[Tinyflame]

I don't know how anyone can think crying is a matter of choice, let alone in front of someone, or how it's thought to be just beneficial, or how people cry on cue.

I think @Keming is right, at least tell her how you feel.

Welcome to you. :hug:

 

[Skywatcher]

Maybe she is just telling you that it is a safe place to cry. I didn’t really cry for a year and a half with my therapist. However, in the last 1/2 year I have made up for it. Not always in the therapy room, though. Many times I cry when I am alone. Crying is healing.

 

[Survivor3]

People can't cry on cue. I find it extremely difficult to cry. Partly because my brain has changed due to stress and trauma and partly because of the medication I take.
I would tell your therapist that you thank her for mentioning that it's a safe place to cry , however it's up to you whether you do or dont.

 

[grit]

Non-cry has been one of my trademark during my therapy (after many other therapists were I definitely gave some serious ugly cries).

This is the thing. You are in phases in therapy. Everybody is different. Some people cry forever and also never recover. Others may cry and then recover. Some never cry and still recover…infinite scenarios …I do not know all these people but I could only infer there are millions of people and million ways to us. I recovered mostly during the non-cry phase. For me the non-cry phase was more meaningful and deeply touching than when I just cry to avoid things. I was more present and more in touch BUT I was also more in my head, stagnant, and dead and meaningless. No surprise there knowing my past!

I did not cry because that was a phase of my childhood where I stopped crying and caring and giving f*ck. So when my therapist asked me few times to cry, I just explained maybe this non-cry is a sign of resignation and something I experienced in the past using my judgment and common sense…honestly by saying this unleashed feelings of weight being lifted in my stomach. I re-experienced when I died as a child and there was no more cry cause no one cared. The non-cry was a protection I needed so I did not get beaten up or make a fuss. I do not know but it was a definite body memory I stopped crying and caring at the same time.

Most activities in therapy are re-enactments so you can say how you feel and that feeling is not making you cry at the moment (regardless of the real safety in the room). But, think about why you do not cry when you are alone and see if your true self shows up and you can cry alone. Ask yourself, can you cry at all? And that answer is a direction of where you are and where you want to go.

 

[katz]

hi my name is laura and i go to therapy and my therapist keeps bugging me to cry in therapy when i cant why does she do that.

Welcome to the forum.
I agree with you about not wanting to cry in front of anyone. To cry is to make yourself open to "attack" so to speak. When I cry, I need to be alone. In hiding sometimes.

Also remember that to cry is to grieve. Whether it is for yourself or anyone else. I grieve for the "little me" inside me. The little girl who was alone and needed someone. I find the crying/grieving very hard to do - but I know that it is necessary. To cry or to grieve is very normal and believe it or not - it can make you feel better. To release those emotions.

If you can't cry in front of your T. That's ok. Tell her that you're not ready or let her know that you may want to do your grieving (or processing) differently. Either way, she should be okay with you wanting to go at your own place. Remember, you're the one with the strength to go thru this - just do it at your own pace - and the best way to help yourself. ((( )))Hugs (if you take them) and good luck.

 

[marina37968]

@katz - what does my therapist mean when she said she will talk about comfort more in therapy