Supporter Wife With Ptsd. Having A Hard Time And Need Help.

[Unknown Person]

Hi all,

I've saw this forum a while ago and was hoping that I wouldn't feel the need to come here for help... but I do. My wife was diagnosed with PTSD back when she was 12 - long before we started dating, but not long before we became friends. At this point, we are married and I have a 2 year old. My wife has PTSD, depression, anxiety disorders, just to name a few.

Things have been up and down but lately things have been really bad... tonight my wife grabbed a couple large knives from our kitchen, large scissors, a leather belt and a large garbage bag. She tried to lock herself in the bathroom, then tried to leave the house when I wouldn't let her be alone in the bathroom. We ended up in the basement bathroom with her lying in the tub holding the sharp objects close to her and close to her neck. I ended up talking her out of doing anything rash after an hour or so but I know that this is far from over. This isn't the first time something of this nature has happened, but this has been the worst in an extremely long time - if not ever. She lay in bed afterwards, silent, looking up things on her phone. I caught a glimpse of what she was reading and it turned out to be suicide methods.

I don't know what to do. She wants to end it all but I won't let her. She is depressed and overwhelmed primarily because of everything in her past and our recent monetary and moving residencies pressures. She is not on medication and not seeing a doctor. She is slipping away and I have no idea what to do. I love her so much.

Sorry for the long spat, I'm frantic and lying here next to her as she sleeps (finally) and typing this all up on my phone.

So... That's me, that's my situation, and I look forward to meeting everyone...

- U

 

[amethist]

Hi and welcome to the forum.

I know where you are coming from with all this worry about her taking her own life, I have been there with my husband. Thankfully he is well past that all now.

It sounds like she needs some kind of emergency care, and as soon as possible. If she gets like this again, is there some kind of crisis team you could call, or could you get her to an emergency room. Sounds tough when you have to hand them over to strangers to care for, but it can be the only way at times.

Come down to the supporters area, where you will find loads of useful information, advice and support.

Take good care of yourself while all this is going on around you.

Amethist

 

[intothelight]

Hi and welcome to the PTSD Forum! :)

Amethist has some great advice about seeking crisis counseling as when a person gets into that state they really can be a danger to themselves. It is good to see that you have come to this site, as it is important that you find some support for yourself. Living with someone with PTSD take a big toll on their partner and you need to take care of yourself.

Wishing you the best.

Debbie

 

[Muzikluvr]

Your wife needs to be hospitalized. Authorities will help you get her there if you need them. She is a threat to herself. You need only tell authorities what she's done already and they will help you get her admitted. You must see this through. I know you will probably fear that she will hate you for it, but she has a 2 year old who needs her to be healthy... not just alive. She can't get there if she doesn't get help, and she can't get help on her own if she's dead.

I know it's not easy to be a supporter, it just can't be. (I am a sufferer) There are too many variables. No one wants to make a mistake, no one wants to seem unsupportive, or traitorous... but, this is part of being a good supporter. You need to know when she needs an intervention. She needs one now. You cannot spend another night ignoring your child so you can keep your wife from killing herself. There are too many important, yet mundane in comparison, life tasks that must be performed.

Your child will learn to respond to this kind of high, life or death energy; and won't learn the joys of the mundane every day life. Your wife can't appreciate that right now, but one day... when she's dealt with the traumas and is managing symptoms, she may learn to appreciate how much joy can be found in such simple tasks as planting flowers, fixing a child's meal, etc...

Get her to a hospital, and support her while she's there. Get her the help she needs. That's my advice. And do it now.

Also, as soon as you've got her safely admitted to the hospital, find yourself a therapist. You cannot deal with this alone. Many supporters think they don't need a counselor because they aren't as sick as their sufferer, but don't compare yourself to someone with PTSD to determine how strong you are or how independent, competent, mentally healthy, etc... The truth is that you have no experience in how to deal with someone who has PTSD, AND you're learning to have a relationship with this woman... while PTSD is getting in the way. You Must have outside help that understands PTSD and relationships. Get help for yourself, and if that isn't enough then... save your child from PTSD or some other mental disorder by consulting a professional. You have to end this vicious cycle now.

Not all PTSD sufferers go through such drastic actions. Please don't think this is normal of PTSD sufferers. It is extreme, that's why I say you need to get her treatment right away.

 

[p-no]

I can only agree and wanted to point this out:

It is extreme, that's why I say you need to get her treatment right away.

And do it now.

Please don't wait.

 

[myvetswife]

I had to call the police and ambulance before and my husband had to go on a secured ward in hospital. I know it's hard, but these days he says it is the best thing I could have done in that situation.

 

[madmax]

I was put in (treatment hospital) for many reasons, unforgettably I only remember falling through my attic ceiling into my bedroom. Machete's and the like.

For your safety and your child's, do the tough "thing".

Max

 

[KP the nut]

Hi and welcome.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Welcome to the forum.

 

[Abstract]

I have to agree with Muzikluvr. I hope you find the courage to do this.

 

[Unknown Person]

Thanks for all the support everyone. I haven't had a chance to sit down and actually come back here until now. It's really good to get some perspective and hear what everyone has to say, especially now knowing that this is out of the norm.

I've head over to the supporters section as to not crowd the introductions section. It seems my post count is too low to insert links, but you can follow thread 34202.

I can't help but get hopeful every time things start to get "better" again. But, then they always seem to get worse again... I feel like I need to act now, but I don't know that a hospital is the best place for her. I also don't know that drugs are the way we want to go to help with this... definitely not the way she wants to go.

I don't know that I have the courage. I need to talk...

- U

 

[amethist]

When a sufferer is suicidal, then immediate crisis intervention is the best way to go. Medication may be prescribed to keep them from going down the same path.

PTSD is not an illness you can self treat, you do need professional help.