K
KyGirl31
So I'm wondering if my sufferer has a possible fear of abandonment will that cause him to hold back getting closer to me?
I will say this, we have been on a roller coaster of emotions. I can't say that I don't hold a part in our problems, because I do. Knowing the issues he has and the fact that he keeps me at an arms length from him makes me a little nervous. He has said things to me telling me he knows he can't be what I need or how I will wind up disappointed. That he knows I'll grow weary of waiting because it's always the same ending for him. That he's screwed up enough to be single the rest if his life and I would've wanted more anyways.
So we'll do okay for a bit and I realize how much closer I'm getting to him and then I start thinking of all these things he's said to me and I get scared and push him away. Which in return he feels hurt, angry and betrayed and lashes out at me. I don't do it on purpose but I'm only human and I don't want to be hurt. We usually take a breather for a few days and then begin speaking again but I honestly feel like this pattern is probably causing him to be even more reluctant even though he's partly to blame.
So I really don't know what to do. He has said all those things to me but will still tell me he knows he's guarded but he's worth breaking down all his walls over or that he's a better man than I even know yet.
Well if he's telling me one thing one second and something contradicting that another, then of course I'm gonna be totally confused just like I am now. I feel like okay I make you happy but your telling me that you'll probably break my heart but your worth it?
I really care about this man but I'm aware we're both putting each other through it and I don't know what to do. I've never had a guy tell me that I make him happy but he'll probably break my heart or that he values me more than he shows me. The second I mention quitting for good he becomes very defensive. I honestly don't know what to do. It's like I'm being pulled in two directions, my heart wants him but my head says with everything he's told you..you gotta run.
I couldn't be more confused! Why would he say these things to me if I make him remotely happy, it only scares me and prevents me from allowing him to get closer to me? Is the fact that I keep pushing him away making this worse?
I will say this, we have been on a roller coaster of emotions. I can't say that I don't hold a part in our problems, because I do. Knowing the issues he has and the fact that he keeps me at an arms length from him makes me a little nervous. He has said things to me telling me he knows he can't be what I need or how I will wind up disappointed. That he knows I'll grow weary of waiting because it's always the same ending for him. That he's screwed up enough to be single the rest if his life and I would've wanted more anyways.
So we'll do okay for a bit and I realize how much closer I'm getting to him and then I start thinking of all these things he's said to me and I get scared and push him away. Which in return he feels hurt, angry and betrayed and lashes out at me. I don't do it on purpose but I'm only human and I don't want to be hurt. We usually take a breather for a few days and then begin speaking again but I honestly feel like this pattern is probably causing him to be even more reluctant even though he's partly to blame.
So I really don't know what to do. He has said all those things to me but will still tell me he knows he's guarded but he's worth breaking down all his walls over or that he's a better man than I even know yet.
Well if he's telling me one thing one second and something contradicting that another, then of course I'm gonna be totally confused just like I am now. I feel like okay I make you happy but your telling me that you'll probably break my heart but your worth it?
I really care about this man but I'm aware we're both putting each other through it and I don't know what to do. I've never had a guy tell me that I make him happy but he'll probably break my heart or that he values me more than he shows me. The second I mention quitting for good he becomes very defensive. I honestly don't know what to do. It's like I'm being pulled in two directions, my heart wants him but my head says with everything he's told you..you gotta run.
I couldn't be more confused! Why would he say these things to me if I make him remotely happy, it only scares me and prevents me from allowing him to get closer to me? Is the fact that I keep pushing him away making this worse?
