Woke Up Petrified... Literally

[Smile]

I woke up today petrified. Most days I wake up scared. The minute I step into bed at night, anxiety hits. I usually don't remember my dreams (only lately have I started remembering a few). But I always wake up with dread. Other days, like today, ruin my entire day because the anxiety is so all encompassing.

I can't help but wonder if my daily "anxiety level" is effected in a large part by my dreams. Even if I can't remember them.

Any thoughts? I just hate this feeling of absolute helplessness... Just searching for a way to get just a tiny portion of control in my life :(

 

[Ryn]

I can relate to this a lot. I usually find myself waking up, experiencing a few short seconds of relaxed calm, and then suddenly there's a horrible knot of dread and panic in my stomach. It makes it so hard to try to get up and start the day. :(

I have noticed that my dreams from the night before affect me a lot during the day, when I can remember them later and link them to my anxiety, so you might be right there. Especially when I have a negative dream about a certain person, I find myself angry and stressed when that person is nearby, and it takes me a while to realise why.

I'm sorry you are feeling this way. If you are having nightmares that are particularly bad and you think they might be affecting your waking life this much, I'm pretty sure there are certain medications you can get to ease the nightmares. I haven't tried them so I can't speak for them however.

 

[Smile]

@Ryn , I'm sorry you have this as well but makes me feel better to know I'm not alone on this roller coaster ride

I never heard of meds for nightmares?? I'm going to look into that although a part of me feels that sometimes my dreams are my only real clue as to what I'm really feeling

 

[shimmerz]

I have learned how to direct my dreams. I use imagery and so on in order to go to 'good places' while I am sleeping and I suffered from horrendous night terrors every night for almost a decade. I too was terrified to sleep and many times woke in the middle of the night screaming, sweating, trapped in hell that would never seem to leave as during my waking time things would come to me all the sudden as to what it was I had dreamt of the night before by way of flashbacks.

Now I have built for myself a safe place to go to when I sleep. It has helped a ton. It was a slow process but one that has been well worth it as I rarely have chronic terrors. I wish you the best @Ryn and am so sorry you are suffering from this.

 

[Smile]

trapped in hell that would never seem to leave as during my waking time things would come to me all the sudden as to what it was I had dreamt of the night before by way of flashbacks

Yes exactly! Whenever I talk to family/friends about that they tell me I'm just putting too much credence into my dreams. But that's not it at all. It's like you said.., a disruption during the day which comes out of nowhere.

Thanks for the way you described it... It puts less blame on me. And good for you got having do much control in your dreams. How long did it take for you?

 

[shimmerz]

How long did it take for you?

It took me a while to figure out that it could be done. I had some help from people I knew and further help from people on the board here. After that it didn't take long. I flashes of peace (my escape place) all the way along. It was the place I would go if I could do anything in this universe - incorporate anything - and I built my own private spot. It took me a bit to figure out where to start and it seemed that each night I was anxious about something a little different so would have to incorporate something new. I built it slowly - like taking pieces of lego and building a comfie bed (okay so lego wouldn't make a bed comfie - which is exactly what imagery was for me - if something wasn't comfie or safe then I would incorporate something that was - so I had a fluffy cloud on top of the lego bed. Then I realized that I needed privacy so I made a curtain that I could see out of but nobody could see into for example. Slowly it allowed me to expand my world (I hadn't slept in a bed for almost eight years). I would build more and more things in my 'private place' and it seemed I would stay there during the night somehow.

I thought I was a captive to my dreams but in fact learned that I could direct my dreams if I started off properly. I have just started nightmaring again but that is due to acupuncture which is releasing deeper stuff so I will have to fine tune my imagery - be more focused and creative with it.

Whenever I talk to family/friends about that they tell me I'm just putting too much credence into my dreams.

Try if you can, not to take to heart judgements from others (even those with PTSD). I used to be hurt when people didn't understand. Still am at times but they just have no idea. My son-in-law has PTSD and my youngest son spoke derogatorily about him because he was wearing sun glasses when my son felt there was no need to. No, I said, he isn't trying to get attention, his senses are screamingly sensitive right now. My son to this day refuses to take this as a valid response. I find it odd that people are so intolerant and must question everything that is 'not in the norm'.

 

[Smile]

@shimmerz , wow, thank you SO much for your in depth explanation. The Lego and the cloud example make the concept so much clearer and more doable.

I saw my T today and told him that I don't want to get rid of my nightmares/dreams because I feel that they are my only clue as to what I am really thinking. He told me to try and remove that belief. He said dreams are bit what will give you a clue. The clues happen when you are awake. Your opinion?

 

[shimmerz]

For me, it depended on the nightmares. I am going to call mine terrors. My T and I felt that they were clues, yes, but the fallout from them was too high a price to pay. They caused trauma on top of trauma and then sleep deprivation on top of it all. A recipe for disaster for me. I feel like I still have 'troubling' dreams but the terrors are gone so the clues are still there but without the fear of dropping from exhaustion and re-traumatizing myself 40 times a night. :-)

 

[TeddydaBear62]

I wrote about this before. It's what my doctor called "night terrors".
The closest example I can illustrate is like when you were in school as
a child.....and the next day the class bully threatened to beat you up.
Or you were nervous about the big test the next day. Many would lie
awake and imagine all sorts of bad outcomes and get themselves all worked up.
But it seems as adults, these thoughts and feelings are much more intense.
I had them when there were so many traumas happening at the same time.

 

[tired of the fight]

@Smile,

I have the exact things happen to me. I'm afraid to sleep, the dreams and waking up shaking and the awful dread of the day. I need so much help in this area. I don't know what to do.

 

[Smile]

@tired of the fight, I'm sorry you're going through this :(

I haven't gotten control over it myself yet so I personally don't feel able to give advice but @shimmerz wrote a a great and detailed reply above... I would try that out.

Good luck! I know how hard it is :(

 

[tired of the fight]

@Smile

Thank you