Working Mothers

[Nicolette]

As Australian children head off to school today and the stay at home mums go out for coffee, out for lunch, gym and some back home to keep slogging away at domestic bliss a friend posted this on Facebook

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/devon-corneal/what-not-to-say-to-a-working-mom_b_2566952.html

Having been a working mother, and a single one at that, all I can say is amen!!! About time we got acknowledged too instead of just those fighting their cause to stay at home and be supported by the government, to breastfeed in public, their rights to have subsidised day care even though they are at home full time but need a break...etc. This is a big hello from the rest of us who work just as hard in a different way (and not because we always want to) as we are often are looked down upon by those fighting the causes listed above. I'm glad someone can see a mile in my shoes through a humorous article.

This is not a debate either - just 'an about time' statement which I feel needs to be shared.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

I am not a mother and never plan to be but glad you feel acknowledged. I also agree that the awareness is needed because it is still looked upon as a relatively new thing.

 

[Abrasky]

I was a stay at home mum for 2 years. I didn't get acknowledged and did all the breastfeeding and the baby brain thing.

I started working when my bub was 2, I was acknowledged and got paid, I'm still doing the parenting as well. Probably the best place for acknowledgement for parenting is mother's group or partners. That is in the only place I found it, and yes it is necessary to feel acknowledged for mother self esteem. Families are good too, if you are one of the lucky ones to have a supportive family.

I think you must do a great job Nicolette, as your family photo at christmas made me think that if you were going to raise a well adjusted child, then a Nicolette for a mum would be good for that. : )

 

[Nicolette]

Thanks Maze :x3:

 

[Nicolette]

I was a stay at home mum for 2 years. I didn't get acknowledged and did all the breastfeeding and the baby brain thing.

Have you noticed the huge push for stay at home mums though Maze? It's like reverse judgement and its better for kids that what we did - I feel like its now a crime to have bottle fed and worked from all the media hype.

 

[Abrasky]

It really depends on the family I think. I think my ultimate role model, a NPWS ranger and his wife who also worked as a professional had 2 really well adjusted kids even though they both worked. I can't do that because I don't have the qualites to manage so much. I did 20 hours a week though for 4 months, and was coping good, although it was hard.

But I think it more depends on the qualities of the individual on how a child turns out. I know one working mum with children in daycare that has a serious defiant mode on. But my observation with that family with the defiant child was the parent's lacked the parenting skills. And it was more about the parenting skills than the daycare. They didn't have parenting skills (like hard work, emapthy, and getting along with people not just changing diapers) unlike the NPWS ranger dad and his wife. So strange that everybody will go to do a degree to become and accountant, but won't even develop skills or overcome issues to became parents which is such an important job.
I learned a lot of parenting skills from mother's group, just by observing other mother's disclipline ect.

There are some SAHP families that have great skills though, I know a SAHM with 4 kids that is a great parent and has all these skills, without learning them through work so that is great for her.

I am a strong breastfeeing advocate, but I also was unable to breastfeed past 4 months due to a kidney infection, and sometimes life isn't perfect, but my son is perfect because life isn't perfect.:)

 

[MagiLisu]

I agree with Nicolette, that mothers can't win, they are expected to be everything and do everything. They get slated for staying at home and being their for their kids. They also get slated for going to work and not spending enough time with their kids.

Not to mention all the other things they apparently can't do right. I really don't know how mothers do it when everyone else seems to have an opinion about how you raise your child. I think your all amazing:notworthy:.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Thanks for sharing this article. I was a stay at home mom and did not get support for it. I always felt sub human. It cost me because I have not worked enough to qualify for my own social security so I made quite the sacrifice. I will be entitled to half of my husbands social security when I turn sixty five. I will not qualify for any medicare. I really screwed myself by staying at home.

The US government does not acknowledge stay at home moms.

I think working moms have it really rough. My hat is off to them. It was a very good article and it made me think. Thanks for sharing this.

 

[Abrasky]

I don't know Gizmo, You have a lot of beautiful qualities. : ) Your children will have learned from them and have also been lucky to have a mum at home, it is hard for parents to work sometimes especially being that it is only recently that workplaces have become friendly to mothers and good quality childcare is available too. It would have been a lot easier now than before too.

 

[Nicolette]

others can't win, they are expected to be everything and do everything. They get slated for staying at home and being their for their kids. They also get slated for going to work and not spending enough time with their kids.

I think you've hit the nail on the head MagiLisu :tup:

 

[Britt.f7]

The best saying I've seen on a shirt is "Every mother is a working mother."

I've done both, stayed at home and worked. I never thought I'd be a stay at home mom, but things change. My health was one of them.

Either way, as a parent, you are on call 24/7. Some women who stay at home get looked down on for not having a career and making ends meet. Other women, who also work outside the home, get crap for letting others "raise" there kids. A no win situation for any mother.

It is good that working mother's are getting some recognition for the positive instead of the negative. I'm just not sure why we can't all unite as a unit, mother's who work outside the home and mother's who stay home. That's the only way to fight the bullies out there, as a united front.

 

[amethist]

If I had my time again as a mum, I would still go out to work, it kept me sane. Having children is a wonderful experience, but there is a life with children.

I was then a single mum and still went out to work, that kept me sane too, sane from what was going on with the divorce. Sane from not being at home alone just cooking and cleaning.

Even now as a full time supporter, I go out twice a week, to volunteer in the real world, that again keeps me sane.

I never took any notice of what anyone thought of me when I had kids and worked. I dont take any notice of what anyone thinks of me now.