Supporter Young Wife Of A Marine In Need Of Help And Support.

[alana]

I am currently a new member. I am trying every method in coping with my husband who is suffering from PTSD. He wants nothing to do with me. He tells me he can't tell me he loves me or that he can't lead me on, and that he's sorry that he cannot love me the way I love him.

I'm so scared that he is going to leave me. I am trying to be supportive but he does not want to talk or be with me.

He told me to understand more. So here I am trying to understand. He's in therapy, I'm in therapy. I feel like nothing is going to help that we will never get through this hump. What do I do? I am so lost, depressed, I feel unloved. My family is not excepting his problems. I feel so alone.

 

[safenow]

What do i do?

Bless your heart. May I ask how long you've been married? How long has he known he's had PTSD? He might be dissociating, and another part of his personality is talking. If he is dissociating, it might be a personality from before you were married.

Welcome to the PTSD forum. I'm so sorry you are going through this. I"m sure he really means that he's sorry he can't right now. It's hard when you are first diagnosed, and you are doing trauma therapy. All this horrible crap is brought up front and center, and it takes time to learn who you really are, and how to handle it all.

If he isn't willing to talk to you, it's hard to understand more. He probably doesn't even know enough to really handle it himself just now. You need to think of yourself first and foremost. Have you talked to your therapist about this? What do they tell you to do?

Keep talking. If you allow them, I'm sending you a gentle hugs.

 

[discarded]

Hi Alana and welcome. My heart goes out to you and your husband as you struggle to accept and learn to cope with his PTSD. As you are now painfully aware it is an extremely difficult situation to be in but here on the forum you will soon discover that you are not alone in this and that we all understand and offer our support.

I have been through (and still are) a similar situation and I am still learning to cope with the fallout of PTSD. My husband withdrew from me and our children and refuses to communicate with me other than about trivial stuff. He too has said he does not love me. They are the hardest words to hear. Have hope in the fact that he is receiving treatment and therefore over time will more than likely return to be much of his former self. The day may come when he can say "I love you" again.

As for understanding, I struggle a lot with that. I understand the nature of PTSD and the symptoms and common behaviours of sufferers but I can never really understand what he has been through and will have to live with for the rest of his life. As hard as it is, try to be patient, backoff and give him some space. Look after yourself first so that you are in a better place to cope with him and your struggling relationship.

Has he said at all what he wants or expects you to do? Does he want you to leave or he leave? My husband never says a thing, I have had to draw my own conclusions and make my own decisions based on what I am willing to take from him and what has pushed me to breaking point. I found the forum after I had already made many mistakes and made the decision to leave him. gain as much as you can from other's experiences and see what will work for you. Remember, every situation is unique and works for one may not for another. What works one day may not work the next. Communication is the key and until he is willing it is going to be very difficult for you. Hang in there and remember he is worth it but you and your health are too.

 

[Toria]

Hello Alana and welcome.

There is a Supporters' section a little bit further down the main Board - come and join us there and you will soon realise that - as sad as it is - you are not the only one and you are certainly not alone... not anymore! We are a very friendly and supportive bunch x

 

[KP the nut]

Hi Alana and welcome to the forum.

As Toria said above, check out the supporters section. I think even knowing that you are not alone is a help. I'm pleased you found us.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Welcome to the forum. :)

 

[ms spock]

Hello and Welcome to the Forum.