Anyone Experience Sudden Triggered Grief?

[Justmehere]

Ok, I know this might seem like the most basic question, but please bear with me. It's been a doosey of a day.

I have dealt with triggered fear, triggered anxiety, triggered anger... All on the sense where I was feeling strong feelings about something in the present moment but the feeling really was more fitting for the past. I have had flashbacks and dissociation also triggered by events in the present. It tends to come on within a few hours or even seconds.

I have dealt with long time periods of depression that came and went slowly. I have had grief after trauma, but it always seemed to fit the current moment.

For the second time since I was a kid, I am struggling with triggered grief. Where there is nothing in my present to feel this suddenly sad about, and yet I'm having an intense grief reaction.

Someone did something that was hurtful but they said it was to help. It was a male figure and they were out of line. What they said hurt, and it was wrong, but it wasn't something to weep over. They were supposed to protect me from something in their professional role but they were a jerk instead and I quickly set boundaries with them. (Not a therpaist or doctor.)

After I got space from them, all of a sudden my tears came like a flood. I have been crying on and off most of last night and today.

I reached out to my therapist...

She told me this is triggered grief. I am not angry or anxious. It feels like every piece of me is breaking inside. I am in pain, and the tears keep coming. I had to cancel almost everything on my plate today. I simply kept crying. I used a lot of grounding skills and I'm semi-functional but never far from silent tears streaming down my face.

At the heart of this is the horrible pain that my father didn't protect me. He hurt me. I usually feel nothing about him, so my therapist sees this as progress.

Has anyone had sudden grief about past events that lasted like this? I don't know why I feel like this is the strangest thing in the middle of it. I bet it's more common than I think right now in the middle of it.

Anyone ever cried to the point of being dehydrated? I just want the tears to stop right now.

 

[Virtues]

My T refers to these moments as "displaced emotions" and to answer your question, yes, grief is one of the more common emotions that surface to bite me in the ass. I have a tendency to bury my emotions until I can't stuff them anymore and then they all come flowing out. I am trying to allow myself to feel again (in the moment) without burying emotions. ACT therapy has taught me a lot in this way, but I am still working on it.

 

[Justmehere]

Good to know I'm not alone in this!

I have an old ACT and mindfulness workbook that I pulled out tonight - good to know its been helpful for you!

 

[ladee]

I have had numerous grief triggered situations... didn't know the human body and soul could hold that much pain and loss. And no, you are not alone. To me, this was probably where I lot of my healing came from... the tears of loss...so much loss... Hope you allow yourself to feel what you need to feel... sending gentle hugs if you accept..

 

[Tinyflame]

didn't know the human body and soul could hold that much pain and loss.. so much loss

I didn't know triggered grief existed but definitely yes. So much so (in severity) it's unbearable.

They do say now, scientific evidence shows some people do feel more than others. But anything not grieved, I think it remains, yes.

:hug:

 

[StellaBlue]

I think unexperienced or stuck grief is an underlying emotion in a lot of situations. I think a lot of times, we (I) experience anger, fear and/or anxiety in order not to feel the grief, which can seem a lot more overwhelming than the "covering" emotion.

 

[ladee]

@StellaBlue, thank you so much for sharing what you did. Never looked at it that way. Makes perfect sense. Thank you !!!!

 

[NoWhereKnowWhere]

I've felt like this (although I didn't realise it's triggered grief) when I've put myself first. So example when I've taken a stand with someone who has had a negative and dismissive manner towards me. I stood up for myself and after felt very anxious and generally shitty. So I practiced some self care and reassured myself I'm doing the right thing standing up for myself, putting myself first and caring for myself.

I reacted like you described it felt like grief. It was also a lightbulb moment, this is what I should've experienced as a child. I should've been protected and cared for the way I'm now learning to protect and care for myself.

I've never really thought about it as grief, so thank you for sharing. It's another piece in the puzzle.

I hope you feel better soon and I have to say after I experienced what I described it felt like a big moment of growth (in hindsight, tag the time it was a moment of profound suffering)

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Thank you for sharing this thread. I too get moments of sadness and feel as if I want to cry but no tears come. I do not know if I am being triggered to past or present grief at all. I only share this an a experience. I do not cry very often at all, I was trained not to cry at all.

I think that you are healing in the loss of tears and I am glad for you because you are dealing with the experiences of your childhood and whatever other traumas in your life. I wish I could just cry and let it all out.

 

[NatBird]

Thank you for the thread. I am grieving right now. First time in my life. Crying a lot, making up for tears being blocked for over a decade. Its goof to be able to read about people's experiences with this. Helps with my own.

 

[Friday]

I missed this post!

“The definition of remorse: A mourning that is out of control and never ends, that can strike out of the bluest of skies, across the softest of snows." -Frank Delaney

The short answer, is yes. Grief. Regret. Remorse. Mourning.

The longer answer I don't have words for.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I think it was wonderful that you could point to your dad. Most of the time when i have miss placed emotions (usually anger/rage but yes grief as well) i cant seem to point to what its about in my past. Even miss placed, it always back traces to my past and my therapist and i back trace everything but when it seems miss placed, i cant seem to back trace it. So i agree that thats progress.

Can you cry to the point of dehydration? I dont cry but i imagine that would take a long time but possiblly