Name that distorted cognition (thought/perception)

[ms spock]

1. All or nothing thinking -- I got here so quickly - it is like by never failing I am proving I did not deserve the abuse. Truly distorted ruminations indeed, but that one goes deep within me. I did talk to myself and say it is better to hand in stuff and fail than just running away again.

2. Over-generalization -- I do this as well. A little bit better today on this one.

3. Mental filter -- This one enables my self abuse and self criticism. I cannot give myself a break some days, but today I did, today I stopped standing on my own throat.

4. Disqualifying the positive -- You reject positive experiences by insisting they "don't count" for some reason or other. In this way you can maintain a negative belief that is contradicted by your everyday experiences - it is amazing how quickly I can come back here after a major success.

5. Jumping to conclusions -- You make a negative interpretation even though there are no definite facts that convincingly support your conclusion. (Involves mind-reading and fortune-telling.) I do a lot of this at times, if I hadn't done it at prac it would have been helpful - but hey it is what it is and I was brave enough to get through.

6. Magnification and minimization -- You exaggerate the importance of things, or you inappropriately shrink things until they appear tiny. I do this. I do this a lot a times - but I am starting to get slightly better. The stories I tell myself are sad sometimes. I am so hard on myself.

7. Emotional reasoning -- You assume that your emotions necessarily reflect the way things really are, as in "I feel it, therefore it must be true." Oh yes it feels so real despite sometimes knowing my brain is lying to me.

8. Should statements -- You try to motivate yourself with "should" and "should not," as if you have to be whipped and punished before you could be expected to do anything. I have had a lifetime struggle with this but I am doing a little bit better with it all.

9. Labeling and mislabeling -- This is an extreme form of overgeneralization. Instead of describing your error, you attach a negative label to yourself.
Yes - this as well.

10. Personalization -- You see yourself as the cause of some negative external event which, in fact, you were not primarily responsible for.
I will get on top of this and the abuse one day, just a little bit each day.

 

[ms spock]

1. All or nothing thinking A fair bit of this one - I have this thing that if I am perfect and good then the abuse will never have happened! Not logical I know! That is why they all called distorted cognition.

2. Over-generalization - decades of practice went into this one!

3. Mental filter -- This one enables my self abuse and self criticism. I cannot give myself a break some days. But today I will do some three minute breathing spaces!

4. Disqualifying the positive -- It is amazing how quickly I can come back here after a major success.

5. Jumping to conclusions -- I do a lot of this at times. I go into my fantasy world. I imagine that people think badly of me and imagine ways to do things to impress people. I waste a lot time ruminating on this one!
(You make a negative interpretation even though there are no definite facts that convincingly support your conclusion. (Involves mind-reading and fortune-telling.))

6. Magnification and minimization -- The stories I tell myself are sad sometimes. I am so hard on myself. I exaggerate the importance of things, or I inappropriately shrink things until they appear tiny.

7. Emotional reasoning -- My brain and feelings are lying to me on a regular basis.

8. Should statements -- You try to motivate yourself with "should" and "should not," and then I beat myself up for falling short all the time.

9. Labeling and mislabeling -- I have many negative labels that I attach to myself.
Yes - this as well.

10. Personalization -- I blame myself for the abuse and so many other things that went wrong - when in reality I had no real power at all, and if I hadn't run away my Father would have killed us all - that was what stopped him - it was the scrutiny of my disclosures! But yet despite reality I blame myself for other people's feelings.

I am living a lot in an emotional flashback.
http://pete-walker.com/flashbackManagement.htm I wrote these out a few times yesterday and it helped. I wrote out the 13 ways to manage emotional flashbacks.

I also wrote out the top ten distorted cognitions as well - that was helpful. I have the David Burns' book but I am unable to put my hands on it today, so far.

I am working on being kinder to myself and I did a Self Compassion Break, which I also wrote out as well. Kristin Neff's website has the mp3 for free!

I looked at the work of the Perth Meditation Centre, which also has free mp3s and he gets his people do multiple Mindfulness sessions of short duration during the day. That is actually working better for me rather than the one hour or one and a half hours longer Mindfulness int the morning. I actually relaxed my body yesterday. I guess it is with all practices and disciplines - you grow and change in them and get better. So I did the free Mindfulness audio from the frantic world website as well. I really mixed it up yesterday with different short Mindfulness - it was good. So my new thing is 3 x per day of 10-20 minutes. I didn't realise how hard I was being on myself about my Mindfulness - so new awareness which means improved practices.

I am not so bad - it is just ruminations in my head that are the problem, and with practice I can get on top of them or I can learn to live with those ruminations. Radical Acceptance. I can do this. I can survive anything - I have already lived through hell and back. I grew up in a horrendous situation and I survived - broken into bits and pieces but that doesn't take away from the victory of making it through.

So I have done a really good job with my distorted cognitions and I will work on them that much again and I will learn to sit with it all, and break it all apart.

So there is a lot of CBT And DBT in my future. I will do it. I will practice it and I will literally grow new neural pathways. I have done it before, and I can do it again.

 

[Ronin]

Minimizing.

And personalization. Too dissociated to tell about that one, but I think that feeling I'm keeping at bay is emotional response to a wrong thought.

 

[Sandstone]

Which one is this? I know it was wonky thinking, but can't identify a label for it
I was walking to the doctors, a young couple were on the other side of the road. They crossed to walk behind me. I needed to cross, but was unable to do so because I was worried they would think I was avoiding them. In the end, I waited till the last moment, so they could see I crossed solely to enter the driveway.

 

[ms spock]

@Sandstone! It is Jumping to conclusions -- You make a negative interpretation even though there are no definite facts that convincingly support your conclusion. (Involves mind-reading and fortune-telling.)

 

[Sandstone]

Yes, it is, isn't it.

 

[8888]

I don't know if this counts but I feel the need to hold on to my abuser. Like I need him to function normally.

 

[ms spock]

I don't know if this counts but I feel the need to hold on to my abuser. Like I need him to function normally.

Emotional reasoning -- You assume that your emotions necessarily reflect the way things really are, as in "I feel it, therefore it must be true."

 

[8888]

Emotional reasoning -- You assume that your emotions necessarily reflect the way things really a...

Thank you!

 

[ms spock]

All or nothing thinking -- You see things in black and white categories. If your performance falls short of perfect, you see yourself as a total failure.
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I am having a hell of a time with the above one that is for sure.


Over-generalization -- You see a single negative event as a never-ending pattern of defeat.
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I am doing a lot of Self Compassion Breaks to mitigate this one.


Mental filter -- You pick out a single negative detail and dwell on it so exclusively that your vision of all reality becomes darkened, like the drop of ink that colours the entire beaker of water
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I am working on this with Radical Acceptance.


Disqualifying the positive -- You reject positive experiences by insisting they "don't count" for some reason or other. In this way you can maintain a negative belief that is contradicted by your everyday experiences.
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I am doing this a bit. I have to remember that I can do things.


Jumping to conclusions -- You make a negative interpretation even though there are no definite facts that convincingly support your conclusion. (Involves mind-reading and fortune-telling.)
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I am actively working on not doing this - I am not avoiding I am going to see people and I am not presuming they think that I am bad. I am babbling a bit but I am much improved overall.


Magnification and minimization -- You exaggerate the importance of things, or you inappropriately shrink things until they appear tiny.
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Yes - trying to be more rational - it is really hard to do. I am trying to get the rumination and thought looping to be a bit less if I can't, then I notice what I am doing a bit more Mindfully.


Emotional reasoning -- You assume that your emotions necessarily reflect the way things really are, as in "I feel it, therefore it must be true."
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I am avoiding less people and places based on this - still does feel real and feels true but it is not.


Should statements -- You try to motivate yourself with "should" and "should not," as if you have to be whipped and punished before you could be expected to do anything.
------
Yes this as well.


Labeling and mislabeling -- This is an extreme form of overgeneralization. Instead of describing your error, you attach a negative label to yourself.
-------
This is something I am hoping to do less. I am trying to be less dramatic in my use of words.


Personalization -- You see yourself as the cause of some negative external event which, in fact, you were not primarily responsible for.
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I am trying to review my opinions about myself and my life and shift the self hatred and self punishment, and my complete lack of trust in myself.



So I am still working on it all. Improving slowly but surely!

 

[Lionheart]

When I am unable to have sex, for whatever reason, I feel and believe that I am worthless.
I don't know what distorted cognition this is but, I have a feeling it is all of them.

 

[ms spock]

That is all or nothing thinking @Lionheart777 - who defines what sex is anyway? - it can be kissing, hugs, lying with clothes off or on, it can be an intimacy of touch and caring, it can be to sit with someone and honour who they are in a sexual way - so sex doesn't have to be an orgasm - it doesn't have to be "perfect" like in the movies. Lots of people couldn't have sex for various reasons today - does it mean that they are worthless. I avoided sex for six months and does that mean I am worthless? No, of course not.

So feeling you are worthless is Emotional reasoning.

Emotional reasoning is when you believe it to be true because you feel it to be so. So that is another distorted cognition that you have as well. Just because you feel worthless doesn't mean by any stretch of the imagination that you are worthless. As a Vulcan who has witnessed your awesomeness it is illogical that you "feel" that this is so. I don't judge you for feeling that way - I struggle with worthlessness myself, but I am pointing out just because you feel it is so doesn't mean that it is so.

Thoughts are thoughts, they are not facts.

Feelings are feelings, they are not facts.

Labeling and mislabeling -- I have many negative labels that I attach to myself. You are doing this by labelling yourself as worthless when that is patently not true - look what you add to the forum and the many kindnesses that you bestow. You have value as you have the heart of a lion - even when you doubt yourself. It is brave to sit with the truth of what you feel.

Disqualifying the positive is when you see yourself as worthless for one thing you can't do today - that is having sex. But there are many good things about our Lionheart777.

Over-generalization -- You see a single negative event as a never-ending pattern of defeat. So on one day you can't have sex, does that really mean you are worthless? No of course not - just for one period of time you can't have sex. So you are over generalising about your self and your life Lionheart.

Self Compassion is a thing @Lionheart777 - and most important for the recovery from those complex trauma issues in my humble opinion. Kristin Neff has free audio that you can download and practice Self Compassion with. I like the "Compassion Break" and practice regularly each day. You can download it for free.

The other one I am working on throughout the day is Radical Acceptance as well @Lionheart777. It is worth a look. The DBTselfhelp website is worth a read. Tara Brach wrote a book that is worth a read. DBT is really helpful for those of us that struggle with emotional regulation and low self esteem - it is worth a look.

There are free guided audio to be downloaded from the frantic world website as well - the three minute breathing space is a nice way to come back to yourself and even if you can't shift you can notice more and be a little bit kinder to yourself.

The perth meditation centre has audio you can listen to for free as well and it is really good for those of us with chronic muscle tension. Eric Harrison has also articles on anxiety and etc for us to read and I find them most helpful.