Me And My Husband Both Have Ptsd

[Sherry]

My husband has PTSD as a result of his time in the Vietnam war. And I have PTSD as a result of a violent rape 20 years ago, before I met my husband.

We married 18 years ago, a couple of years after I was raped. But I was not diagnosed with PTSD until only a couple of years ago.

As you can imagine it makes for a fairly volatile relationship. Although hubby does not believe I have ptsd because as far as he's concerned, only military people get it. But really that is besides the point really. I do have it, and I have been receiving therapy over the past year and a half - both exposure therapy and EMDR.

I guess I would really like to know if anybody else here with PTSD lives with another person PTSD. It need not be as a partner I suppose, it could be a friend or a family member.

How do you manage to live harmoniously? I am finding it so hard.

 

[Silver.]

I don't live with someone with PTSD but I did want to at least say something regarding your husband and his feelings towards PTSD. I think the most important thing right now is for him to recognize that you do indeed have PTSD. I think before any change can occur, he needs to understand that PTSD is not just a disease for those in the military.
(I think @missy meier has been reading a book on PTSD relationships that could help you out, I just cannot recall the name right now)
I do know of others here that are in dual PTSD relationships, and their insight could be of great help to you.
take care

 

[Gs172003]

 

[Gs172003]

Dang that was big

 

[Silver.]

^^ you can edit your posts up to one hour after it was posted, I wonder if you couldn't just post a link to Amazon for the book?

 

[Gs172003]

^^ you can edit your posts up to one hour after it was posted, I wonder if you couldn't just post a lin...

It's just as easy to type the name in.

 

[Gs172003]

If I post the link does it give out my info?

 

[joeylittle]

does it give out my info?

No.

Getting back to topic...

Although hubby does not believe I have ptsd because as far as he's concerned, only Military people get it. But really that is besides the point really.

I'm not sure that it is beside the point, but I understand why you're saying that.

You and he are going to both need to make accommodations for each other. Can he really participate in that process if he doesn't believe you are ill to begin with?

 

[Sherry]

I don't live with someone with PTSD but I did want to at least say something regarding your husband and...

Thankyou Silver. Unfortunately I am just not able to talk to him about it. I have tried in the past, but he just 'blows up' and refuses to talk. Its very hard.

 

[Sherry]

View attachment 44312

Missy Meier, thankyou so much for the info on the book. I will look it up and see what I can learn about it. Appreciate your help.

 

[Sherry]

No.

Getting back to topic...

I'm not sure that it is beside the point, but I understand why you'...

Thankyou Joeylittle. I appreciate your input. I think he believes that I am just plain 'nutty', paranoid, irritable, etc. But that it couldnt possibly be ptsd, because my own symptoms are a little different to his. Perhaps he is a bit of a ptsd 'snob'? It could also be a case of by not speaking about what caused my ptsd (rape) then it is easier for him. He doesnt have to acknowledge the rape nor the ptsd. I have never been able to speak to him about the rape anyway, only the very bare basics of what happened. I guess that will never really change.

But I do want tips on how we can live a little happier together, acknowledgement of my ptsd, or not. Perhaps the book Missy mentioned will help. I will go and look it up.

Have a happy Sunday everyone.

 

[NaeNae75]

I grew up in a household that my father had PTSD from Vietnam, and my sister and I have PTSD, both of us from our parent's abuse, and me compounded by sexual assults. So it was a very difficult situation when we were all still living together. Our relationship is still a little bit tumultuous, but we do get along better now. I am, by the way, the only one that gets treatment for it.

My sister finally started into therapy, but for dual diagnoses. She OD'd on painkillers, so she went to rehab and is getting therapy...so I'm not sure if it involves any therapy specific to PTSD or not, because we do not talk about it. But as far as I know, she doesn't

Now, for the last 6.5 years I have been with a man that also has PTSD. It can be very complicated, because our symptoms can often interfere with each other's triggers once in a while. One thing we do have is that he definitely accepts my PTSD diagnosis. I was diagnosed 18 years ago. He was officially diagnosed last year, but he has been symptomatic the entire time we have known each other.

I pushed almost from the beginning for him to get help, but took until he was deployed to get help with getting a diagnosis because he once again became suicidal. So it's sort of funny that your husband doesn't want to believe you have PTSD, and my s/o doesn't really accept he has it....or that it doesn't really "affect him". He couldn't be more wrong. It most definitely does affect him.

We get individual counseling, as well as couples therapy every other week. Most of the time that helps mitigate major issues. Every once in a while, generally when he stops going to therapy for any amount of time, things will go awry. We are still trying, though...and most of the time we work as a team to overcome our obstacles and be supportive of each other's.