Yes I would like to know what Trauma School is like as well.
This comes from Kristin Neff's website - you can download the audio and the exercises for free.
Exercise 2: Self-Compassion Break | Kristin Neff I try and do a couple of guided audio Self Compassion breaks each day and say the form of the Self Compassion - the three steps as the day goes on.
Now, I say to myself:
1. This is a moment of suffering
That’s mindfulness. Other options include:
- This hurts.
- Ouch.
- This is stress.
2. Suffering is a part of life
That’s common humanity. Other options include:
- Other people feel this way.
- I’m not alone.
- We all struggle in our lives.
Now, put your hands over your heart, feel the warmth of your hands and the gentle touch of your hands on your chest. Or adopt the soothing touch you discovered felt right for you.
Say to yourself:
3. May I be kind to myself
You can also ask yourself, “What do I need to hear right now to express kindness to myself?” Is there a phrase that speaks to you in your particular situation, such as:
- May I give myself the compassion that I need
- May I learn to accept myself as I am
- May I forgive myself
- May I be strong.
- May I be patient
This practice can be used any time of day or night, and will help you remember to evoke the three aspects of self-compassion when you need it most.
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So how I do this is - this is my Self Compassion Practice - currently I am feeling very high anxiety.
1. This is a moment of suffering. I am feeling highly anxious and insecure. I am crawling out of my skin with anxiety despite power walking this morning. This is hard to sit with. I am feeling like I am electrocuted by the anxiety.
2. This is a moment of suffering, for me, ms spock. Many students suffer and struggle with getting their assignments in on time, with starting them and with managing them. Many people with Complex Trauma struggling when putting themselves out there and trying new things. This is common humanity - on this forum most people understand what it is like to struggle with emotional regulation. Many students procrastinate and find it hard to focus on work.
3. May I be Kind to My self - what do I need to manage this anxiety? I went to walking in order to manage my anxiety but I felt insecure there and that was really hard. I felt like maybe I don't belong. So now I will sooth the not belonging and the anxiety about work. Iam finding it so really, really hard to manage being in this now. I just don't want to feel these feelings so I am really struggling, so I am going to breathe and be kind to the anxiety.
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Because I feel so highly anxious today I have to keep rereading the below and reminding myself:
Some people find that when they practice self-compassion, their pain actually increases at first. We call this phenomena backdraft, a firefighting term that describes what happens when a door in a burning house is opened – oxygen goes in and flames rush out. A similar process can occur when we open the door of our hearts – love goes in and old pain comes out. There are a couple sayings that describe this process: “When we give ourselves unconditional love, we discover the conditions under which we were unloved” or “Love reveals everything unlike itself.” Fortunately, we can meet old pain with the resources of mindfulness and self-compassion and the heart will naturally begin to heal. Still, it means we have to allow ourselves to be slow learners when it comes to practicing self-compassion. And if we ever feel overwhelmed by difficult emotions, the most self-compassionate response may be to pull back temporarily – focus on the breath, the sensation of the soles of our feet on the ground, or engage in ordinary, behavioral acts of self-care such as having a cup of tea or petting the cat. By doing so we reinforce the habit of self-compassion – giving ourselves what we need in the moment – planting seeds that will eventually blossom and grow.
Tips for practice - Self-Compassion
