Need Some Ideas About Safety

[Lola Nocheprieta]

this bothers me the most. So often we need therapy support in between sessions. If your current therapist is not willing to be involved when you're in crisis, then perhaps he isn't the person you need the most.

I agree with @stp2012. When I read your post describing how you decompensate after or between sessions, self-harm, shutting down, crying jags, etc., and then you said you've never worked on stabilization with your current T, warning bells went off for me. I would look for someone, whether Skype or in person, who will really work on distress tolerance and emotion regulation skills with you. You deserve that.

Gentle hugs if you accept them :hug:

 

[EveHarrington]

Why are you avoiding therapy that would give you basic coping skills? Why are you jumping into therapy with yet another therapist that won't give you skills but works on other areas of struggle. I really have to question what you're doing and why you're actively avoiding getting coping skills given your posts about having little therapeutic help in this area.

 

[sun seeker]

Why are you avoiding therapy that would give you basic coping skills?

Where do you get the idea that I am doing that?

 

[Jules1]

What would you usually do if you left your face to face session and realised when you got home that you...

Very nice advice. I feel an important part of my healing journey was (and still is) taking responsibility for my reactions by setting things in place that I can utilise to help me to keep present and grounded. And then when I realise I am getting too upset I can take control by turning to my tools to help empower me and ground me in the present. It can take time to relearn how to manage and control how much you want to process and know that you are the boss and can deal with as much or as little as you feel able on any given day.

 

[Deleted member 34328]

@sun seeker how is it going as far as your therapist is concerned? Did it work out with the skype one or have you had to look elsewhere? How are you doing?

 

[sun seeker]

Thanks for asking. The Skype option is still a possibility, but it would take a while before the person has any openings. Meanwhile I am still trying to work things out with my present therapist. I've taken the reins of my own safety a bit more with things like setting limits around what I am willing to work on if I don't have support after a session. I'm still pretty unstable and feel not too far from disaster a lot of the time, but I'm not actively in crisis right at the moment.

 

[Deleted member 34328]

It's a pretty rough and unpredictable journey isn't it.

I'm relieved to hear that you're still being followed by someone, even if he isn't your first choice.

Thank you for sharing that you're working on setting some boundaries for yourself when you're feeling unstable. I guess that still concerns me, but we all have to work with what we have at our disposal.

I'm not very good at sticking to boundaries myself. Crisis situations seem to pop up when we least expect it but you do seem to be in a quieter place. I'm glad you have some grounding tools work with.

Please keep in touch. I care.

 

[sun seeker]

even if he isn't your first choice

He really is my first choice because we've developed quite a bond in spite of the difficulties. First choice, we're able to work things out. Second choice, I find someone else. Third... no, let's not go there.

I'm not very good at sticking to boundaries myself.

Yes, they seem all well and good when I think of them but when actually in a situation where I need to apply them, often it's a lot harder. Which I guess means I need to spend more time communicating them when NOT at the point where I really need them.

Please keep in touch. I care.

Thank you!

 

[sun seeker]

Months after the fact, I am tying up loose ends before leaving the board for a time, and this - I think - is the last thread I want to update.

It's going much better, and I am so glad I stuck it out.

I am getting tired and won't say more here. Just wanted to mention that.