Need Help Coping With Yelling

[aut555]

I so get the legal aspect, l am still trying to divorce from a man who yelled everyday. So l would say you have to come up with a technique which might be walk away from him the min he starts yelling. I like the fact of recording his rants because some states will grant a divorce on documented abuse. Check your state divorce laws for that. My state does. Going for therapy, filing a police report saying you felt unsafe, my state will grant divorce alimony with documentation of a police report showing violence. Also, can you get on a low dosage med to deal with anxiety this causes you. I left an 18 year abusive relationship close to your age. I know your fears. It took me about three years to walk away, also raising a daughter late in life.

 

[GrayOwl]

I don't have that domestic violence app but while he was yelling and calling me name I turned on my phone...

You are a winner more than you can ever imagine. Anyone who stands up to a bully is a winner. Anyone who stands up for themselves is a winner. These are the steps we take to become a person again. No-one has the right to hurt us. Or intimidate us. That includes spiritually, emotionally, as well as physically. Whenever you take a stand and draw a line in the sand and say: You will not abuse me!, YOU ARE A WINNER. It can be done gently, firmly, defensively, strongly....however you want....But do it on your terms and you are a winner. I have great respect for what you have accomplished.
Protect yourself. Protect that video. And make sure he understands you are serious. Sending much support and strength and best wishes for a healing path.

 

[Jacqueline1]

I don't have that domestic violence app but while he was yelling and calling me name I turned on my phone...

Hi BRAT. I think your very brave and did the right thingYou are in no way a loser...I think you win!!! You are the example of strength that some of us need to see. Stay safe be proud, I am praying for you :hug: sincerely Jacqueline :chicken:

 

[Kay-Os]

Hi I have complex ptsd from horrible child abuse...to much for my brain to cope with. Now my husba...

I'm so sorry if my reply sounds insensitive... but if I didn't care... I wouldn't reply at all

Having been in an identical situation... yet struggling with abandonment issues... "staying for kids" "got nowhere to go" "he'll be alone" "he'll kill himself"... and every other guilt trip either he or I could give me
.. I stayed. 14 years after C-PTSD from childhood.

I lost my soul... I broke. I regret letting him completely destroy my faith, passions, pretty much everything... I'm an empty vessel. I've been out of that relationship for 2 years now... I'm still not me. Not even close.

No offense, but you're gonna end up disassociating to a point where you'll be stuck there... disengaged over everything... if I left when I knew my soul was slipping... I may still have had half a chance.... I don't know. I've been slipping in and out of this faithless empty existance for 2 years... I'm an empath too... so suddenly having gone from caring about everyone... to no one... it sux.

 

[Jacqueline1]

I'm so sorry if my reply sounds insensitive... but if I didn't care... I wouldn't reply at all

Having b...

xactly. you don't sound insensitive at all. I appreciate your time. I'm out at the moment and need to charge my phone. I'd like to reply more when I get home from the docs , thank you Kay:confused:

 

[mamachick]

Kay-os-I know you were responding to Jacqueline, but I just wanted to tell you how much I agree with you on my behalf. There will always be logical reasons for me, and the truth is fear, and I am terrified., and it probably is rooted in abandonment issues. There was a time when I was much stronger (and younger) and I was trying to build up my life and did not tend to this. Now torn down much further, it is harder. I am no longer me, and I don't think I can get me back.
I don't think you are insensitive either. I think you are sharing the truth.

 

[Deleted member 541]

@Kay-Os @brat17 to the both of you.... your not broken beyond fixing. Yes, the both of you and including @Jacqueline1, all 3 of you have been abused, but your not hopeless cases. You are 3 amazing women, that have been trapped, hurt, beaten, and abused. There are ways out of this though. Make plans, save $$, enlist in friends and family that you can trust. Go to churches, shelters, women's organizations, anyplace that you think would be of benefit to help.

You are human beings with souls, human beings that deserve to be treated with kindness and compassion. Intelligent women that deserve to live in peace.

I hope that all 3 of you can find your way out of this mess, and in doing so, understand how courageous it was to make that move. It takes time to adjust afterwards, and you do feel lost as @Kay-Os has mentioned, but it does get better with time. I wish all 3 of you the best. You do have strength and you can survive this and come out stronger...

 

[katz]

Loud and mean

I understand how the loudness bothers you. Keep in mind that this is normal, considering your positon. My husband speaks loudly also. Some times it is very hard not to just get up and run from the room. Some times I just make an excuse to go out side for a moment.

 

[Jacqueline1]

I understand how the loudness bothers you. Keep in mind that this is normal, considering your positon. My...

Thank you you Katz. But he's making me psychotic . I tried walking he thinks I have a boyfriend. I hope all of you understand I feel like cinderella rags fireplace cook clean. I'm not spoiled just screamed at and he took my car away. I give up and I have no friends and family. not allowed . Sorry I dumped my problems on you.

 

[Jacqueline1]

Welcome, Jacqueline. Are you in therapy?

You could also call your local domestic violence shelter and/or...

Hi hodge is it normal to be scared to go to a shelter? he too my car away and myll family.

 

[Neverthesame]

From what I could find out, if the car is registered in your name only, it could be considered your separate asset. You may be able to report it stolen, even if stolen by your husband.

If, or how much this varies between states, I don't know.

Here's where I got this from. Hope it's helpful for you.
Dead Link Removed

 

[katz]

Thank you you Katz. But he's making me psychotic . I tried walking he thinks I have a boyfriend....

Jacqueline, don't feel bad about "dumping your problems". We're all here to listen and help each other. I'm glad your part of the group. :)
(( hugs ))