Being Happy No Matter What.....

[Deleted member 38242]

Life is odd. I'm starting therapy again next week, and need it desperately. I am afraid to be happy. Everytime I've been happy someone, or something comes along to take it away, or my ptsd kicks in and I don't know what year it is because the oppression never stoped. At times I say f*ck em, but the winter this year has been wet, and cold. Isolating makes me miserable. I think I need an antidepressant, but the Drs keeps trying moodstabalizers. Its always a fight to get what you need verses what people want to give you based on someone elses body. Sometimes I feel guilty for being happy. Like someone as low as me should be misreble. I think someone did a job on my mind, and I can't seem to undo it. Maybe once the spring hits it'll be better.......

 

[Deleted member 34328]

So sorry you feel that way. I can relate to some extent.

I have a hard time in the winter too. Not so much the lack of light, but just being cooped up. I want to be outside where it should be fresh and warm.

Happiness is an emotion and often something you have to choose. It's not based on circumstances or for a lot of us, well...we'd never know the meaning of the word. If it isn't wrong to experience fear, anxiety, grief, desperation, then why should it be wrong to experience happiness and pleasure? Why one but not the other. That's a distorted view on self-worth.

Yes, sometimes we need extra help to keep us on the path and unfortunately you're right in that some road blocks come in the form of people with the wrong ideas of how to meet the need.

I think it's great that you've identified a need and are starting with a new therapist. I hope it helps and makes a huge positive difference for you.

 

[Freedomfighter]

Life is odd. I'm starting therapy again next week, and need it desperately. I am afraid to be happ...

Happiness is connected to physical wellness and of course when going through triggers we want to be desperately happy, don't want to be bothered by PTSD. I am in major triggers and a recent PTSD setback has gotten me very ill again. I can not pretend that makes me happy, there is this happy person in there somewhere but criminals are attempting to eliminate me from this world, right along with the truth.......

 

[Deleted member 34328]

Happiness is connected to physical wellness and of course when going through triggers we want to...

That's a fantastic way to put it! "There is this happy person in there somewhere..." someday my old happy self will come to the surface again and I'll write my introduction all over again right after yours.

Hang in there. It's worth fighting for. I'm highly triggered right now because of a movie I just watched with my family. I'm typing fast because my hands are shaking so badly. Then I noticed an alert to this thread and maybe somewhere in that line of yours, I'm going to be able to slow down and catch a breath.

It is a sense of well-being but also a choice. I need to make that choice right now as do many of us or...well... I don't know.