Crisis point

[IamFree]

I am going through the biggest crisis I have had for a while. Its like so many things have hit me in many directions all at once. Father has fell very ill so back in touch with the family again and anticipating its all going to be tricky to manage as were not the most supportive of familys even at the best of times. I was on cloud 9 a few weeks back after I worked hard to secure some stable accommodation with a housing association and I felt so happy with my new home and it turns out I had the misfortune to be living next door to the most self centred asshole who is waking me up in the early hours of the morning and gets angry if I try to approach her about it.Its just the one thing I really needed to go well and all feels so f*cked up right now. So now I have had to lodge a complaint and all that but these kind of things have uncertain outcomes....My appraisal in work just set me of today when my well meaning mangager tells me to be more positive...I just feel so negative I feel like my world is completely devoid of real love and support. I feel like I am doing it all by my self because I do not know who to trust. I never know were to go I feel so alone. I am feeling terribly depressed with things right now , a terrible shock just when I thought things were looking up.

 

[The Albatross]

It's a question of capacity and ability... and management. If you give more preference to the necessity of your employment and a pay check... yadda yadda yadda. If you give more preference to the emotional aspect/feelings/reactivity and don't or can't want to... well ya see?

At several points in recovery I've had to address and assess and choose about "I'm doing it all by myself". Would though avoid the risk of conflation of issues... "I just feel so negative I feel like my world is completely devoid of real love and support." Really it's like having a broken leg and shooting yourself in the other foot.

Today is today, tomorrow things will change. What you are feeling/thinking right now, tomorrow or two weeks, three months from now changes. It is not static, it is fluid.

 

[The Albatross]

Thank you, very gracious... not all are open to that kind of feedback.

 

[Kintsugi]

Sounds like your stress cup is full. It's easy to fall into feelings of despair when there is little to no room left in your life for any more stressors.

How are you coping with the influx of stress? Do you have any self-care stuff in your life to get some of that negative energy out? Maybe exercise or a friend who you have positive, casual socialization with regularly?

I agree with Alba about reassessing how alone you really are. Sometimes I feel like I'm completely alone, but I actually do have a support network available should I choose to reach out to those supports. Sometimes I'm actually pretty damn alone--dealing with something no one but I alone can address. In the latter situation, I try to feel empowered that I can handle whatever it is, because I must. Usually, though, there is support for me in at least some capacities when I feel I'm all alone, and I just need to wake up and smell the support network (here, for instance).

 

[IamFree]

Thank you, very gracious... not all are open to that kind of feedback.

well I do find often what I do not want to hear is what I need to here the most. Without judging my self I can feel very victimised in these situations. I can also feel like I want to in someway hit self destruct and throw everything away I have worked hard for...a bit like oh I need the whole world to see and understand how much pain I am in. I forget that I am a lot stronger than I think...and yes of course nothing is forever in this world.

Sounds like your stress cup is full. It's easy to fall into feelings of despair when there is littl...

yes of course ..I say I feel alone but feelings are not facts.