I can feel some of where you are coming from, sonicwhite. Like when you have been through a lot of terrible crap, your brain is jacked up as a result, you find something that makes you feel and function somewhat better, and then everyone and their uncle hops on the conditioned knee jerk reaction train, where being addicted to something like benzos until you die is just terrible, but you could be on anything else that has withdrawals and that you have to take every single day (like most anti-depressants or anti-psychotics, complete with all their side effects, as well) and that is considered 'okay'. If something takes a long time to see if it's even going to work at all, while you bear the side effects in the meantime, that is considered normal. If something gives you relief quickly, that's considered dangerous. And so it all doesn't even make much sense, just knee jerk 'this is what we're supposed to say' reactions running roughshod over you. Then there you are, maybe 30 years left to even exist on the planet, and it's everyone else's business and concern what is 'acceptable' chemical damage/dependency, and what is 'unacceptable' chemical damage/dependency, results irrelevant. I don't even like benzos, was given xanax to try several years ago but I didn't like how it made me feel at all, but I have gone in similar circles with psychiatrists over other meds. I functioned the best on Effexor, but had a psychiatrist turn it down because of the "terrible withdrawal" and wanted me to try every other AD under the sun. Like, I intend to be on it for life, so that I can function, and live life, so.. Another psych argued about type of meds/diagnosis, etc.
But at the same time even when people compulsively say the 'right things' it usually because they mean well, their hearts are in the right place. Also it is simply the reality of the situation at this time in history. The mentality of acceptable vs unacceptable chemical dependency/damage pervasively affects laws, psychiatrists can actually get in a lot of trouble and even lose their career if they prescribe too many of certain types of meds. This likely won't change within the next 30 years or so, it's a very cultural thing, deeply ingrained, body/life policing. So regardless of views/stance on it all, still options are pretty limited. So again even more so, most people mean well when trying to steer someone towards trying other things, often with a mindset of what is more doable all things considered. If it at least helps and it's doable, then I think that is as good as it can get, really.
I hope you are able to get out of your stressful environment with the abuser. I am in a similar boat right now. It's hard to recover when feeling emotionally triggered on a regular basis, nearly every day. We just have to hang in there and not give up.
