Dom Violence Body memories ptsd

[body memory]

I have severe depression and ptsd from violent relationship... when I have flashbacks of times he held me trapped in a room or the car or house etc, while he would not let me leave while he was threatening and yelling at me, when I remember those times I start to feel in my body all over distress-- mainly I start to breathe heavy like how when a dog is panting-- I start breathing fast and heavy panting, I try to slow down and take in slower smooth even breaths but usually I just go to panic mode, have to pop anxiety pill and drink ice water, splash some water on my face, then I have the need to sometimes curl up in a ball or hold my hands over my face and break down crying...
I feel like times been wasted for the most part in the therapy I've gone to- it's more like just chatting and they don't have a specific strategy, just me telling them how I feel or about the violence and they say how that sounds hard, it's normal for you to feel this way, try deep breathing and self care- blah... I already know that I can read about self care tips on my own... I don't feel like that's helping treat the ptsd or depression... what type of therapist should I look for- I've heard of somatic experiencing but so far haven't really found any therapists on my insurance who do this... one I'm going to now says maybe we will start working on writing my story of what happened to help?? I just feel strongly to me I have a lot of body memories or reactions like when I get triggered I want to curl up and hold my hands over my face or eyes and breathing heavy... ptsd is primarily a physiological response-- chatting with a therapist about self care does almost nothing to help, it's like a bandaid on a hemorrhaging wound

 

[Me!]

I have severe depression and ptsd from violent relationship... when I have flashbacks of times he held me trapped...

I have finally found a great therapist. She listens but also gives constructive feedback. She does not push me beyond my limits. She ends each session with a hug! She gets trauma and ptsd.

 

[Kintsugi]

Have you tried rigorous daily exercise? It might help with the intensity of your body flashbacks.

While trauma processing therapies (EMDR, garden variety talk therapies etc) don't necessarily address the physiological aspect of trauma re-experiencing, they do give a sufferer a safe(r) space to expose themself to the feelings trauma dredges up, which will (theoretically) help lessen the intensity of one's reaction to memories associated with the trauma.

I used to have flashbacks daily or almost daily. Working on self-care, coping mechanisms, stress management, and talking about trauma here and with Ts has reduced the incidence of flashbacks to perhaps a few per year.