Confusing therapy appointment

[azure]

I'm in a very similar situation. My T gives me new things to do each week and one of her suggestions...

yes! I feel like if I could join something then I wouldn't be in therapy would I...would mean I have a handle on things and I don't...she also asked me where my anger/rage was...is that why she treated me like this today...it puts me into a f everything mood..and that's where I am

 

[EveHarrington]

yes! I feel like if I could join something then I wouldn't be in therapy would I...would mean I have a...

But is it really that simple?

I guess what I’m saying as someone who does go out in public and takes part in social activities, that it’s not a matter of being ok once you can engage in social things. I think that you’ll see this to be true once you get to this point. That is, being social isn’t the hallmark of being ok and not needing therapy anymore. There is so much more that goes into healing.

 

[Gs172003]

There are alot of things you can do besides take a class. Maybe volunteer at a zoo. I don't know about all of them but ours the volunteers that work with animals just deal with the keepers not the public and get to work with some pretty amazing animals.

 

[Cactus Bloom]

So I just had a very confusing appointment..I told my T that today wasn't a good day for me..anxiety,unfo...

I hear you 100% and I agree with you. How are you supposed to do something when you have no idea who or what is going to cause a reaction you have no control over at any given moment? I understand that we’re “supposed” to get ourselves out there and not seclude ourselves or whatnot but I don’t agree that you’re expected to do things that seem absolutely impossible for you to do before you’ve learned basic coping skills to be out there. I understand how you feel.

 

[azure]

I hear you 100% and I agree with you. How are you supposed to do something when you have no idea who o...

Thank you Thank you Thank you!!!! so well put!!! YES!! You do understand!! bringing tears to my eyes..thank you so very much

 

[Cactus Bloom]

But is it really that simple?

I guess what I’m saying as someone who does go out in public and...

I really like how you worded this. I guess another thought I have is that there are different personality types and not wanting to be socially active can naturally be one of them even if there isn’t anxiety or other mental health problems. I guess for me it’s hard to know so when do I stop beating myself up for not being this way or that way?

Thank you Thank you Thank you!!!! so well put!!! YES!! You do understand!! bringing tears to my eyes.....

Wow! You brought tears to my eyes and now I’m completely crying! It’s such a struggle and you said it the way I’ve felt for a long time. There is so much I want to say but words aren’t forming but I gotcha:)

 

[Justmehere]

yes! I feel like if I could join something then I wouldn't be in therapy

Ah ok. I can see how her suggestion would feel like she's not hearing you. It might have hit you like if she said to someone who was scared of public speaking to just go give a speech. Does she know about your concerns about doing what she suggested? Does she have the information to understand how high your symptoms are right now? What it sounds like you need is perhaps a bigger toolbox to manage symptoms. It seems like she noticed your anger, and tried to get more information about where you are at right now, but you feel like she's still totally missing the mark. Is this right?

 

[azure]

Ah ok. I can see how her suggestion would feel like she's not hearing you. It might have hit you lik...

she has been spot on before..and you are correct about the public speaking bit..I think she does ( social anxiety) I told her it was a bad day for me...and yes a bigger tool box would be nice... she said something about routine being grounding and I can see how that would be if it were already established....I feel like she picked at the knots (or had me pick at them) that held me together and I'm supposed to deal with all of the crap that is coming out on my own...today I needed her and she wasn't helping to me..I do not like needing somone...and I get therapists are people too they have their off days....the whole drive home I kept thinking about this forum and wondering if someone here would understand....Oh how I wish there were support groups for c-ptsd..

Maybe having something scheduled in your day would help with symptom management? You’d have a...

and yes I will have a drink or 2..can't deal with life right now

 

[whiteraven]

Not all art classes are for 80 year olds...

Yeah, actually many of the classes I've seen are for younger people interested in crafts. As a matter of fact, not sure I've ever seen an 80yo in a craft store.

I feel like she picked at the knots (or had me pick at them) that held me together and I'm supposed to deal with all of the crap that is coming out on my own.

I can really related to this. One of the ways I think she is trying to help you manage symptoms is her suggestion of scheduling something routine. It's not always helpful, and some of the time we need more than that, but it might be a good idea to at least try.

yes! I feel like if I could join something then I wouldn't be in therapy would I...would mean I have a...

I work full-time and am involved in a lot of other activities. If I didn't go to therapy, I wouldn't be around. Just because someone is able to function at those routine, daily things doesn't mean they aren't suffering and don't need help.

 

[Justmehere]

.I feel like she picked at the knots (or had me pick at them) that held me together...

Therapy is like undoing a knot, and symptoms quite often do get worse at first. That's why that a big toolbox is so essential!

You mentioned looking for a support group and struggling with coping skills. What about a SMART recovery group or something else along those lines? There are times where I have gone to recovery groups that were not directly about trauma, but other related issues, just because there was connection and routine. But if you are not ready for something like that, its understandable.

In terms of routine, you could start out with a home routine.

It is hard to need someone, but it's also a good thing to keep leaning into the process. Off therapy sessions get to me too, don't lose hope. Next appointment, be sure to talk to her about how all of this came across to you, as much as you can. It will help her to better meet you where you are at in recovery.

 

[azure]

and i texted that crisis line before..i did not find it very helpful..so i'm even more hesitant to call a crisis line now...I'll manage how i have in the past

 

[Cactus Bloom]

How are you doing this morning?