Relationship Question for ptsd sufferers: can feelings go up and down?

[Freida]

This made me laugh because you just described TODAY for me. I've been all over the damn place this weekend (memorial day and all). part of my most recent rant was why I feel the need to hide things from my supporters and how ashamed I feel for thinking that. For this 5 minutes I'm ok -- but an hour ago I had to fight to keep my ass on the couch so I didn't destroy the house or take off. Luckily I'm in counseling which helps me with self control - mostly. But today xanex had to come into play.

I honestly think that when he says he feels nothing; he’s hiding behind that now because he can’t face the guilt and shame of his actions a few months ago.

This doesn't necessarily contradict itself. If my feelings are too strong (say I've misbehaved and been a total bitch) and I can't face them I go numb and don't feel anything. It's just kind of the way it goes - which is why I'm in counseling twice a week. If I wasn't probably would have lost my marriage by now

 

[Gemini83]

This made me laugh because you just described TODAY for me. I've been all over the damn place this week...[/QUOTETha

That makes me feel better. Most days I have a hard time dealing with him. I question if he really means it or am I just a glutton for punishment. I’ve lost close to 40 pounds since March from the stress from everything he had said and done. The last couple weeks have been better. My birthday this weekend, I’m flying out to spend it with him. Here’s hoping for a good weekend.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Is that a part of PTSD

Maybe, and maybe not. Many times I am numb and feel nothing at all. Nothing good, nothing bad...nothing. But not everything is PTSD related and no one can really say if that's PTSD or not.

 

[Jmclean]

PTSD is truly a mental and physical killer, combat veterans with PTSD can run the whole spectrum from top to bott...

Thank you, I needed to hear that today.

 

[Gemini83]

@lostforgottensoul, when you feel nothing is it at everything or has it ever been directed at one person?

 

[lostforgottensoul]

@Gemini83, when I am numb I am fully 100% numb. Everything, good or bad, everyone...just numb. Nothing. I feel nothing for anyone.

 

[Freida]

when you feel nothing is it at everything or has it ever been directed at one perso

hubby says it is like I check out. The lights are on but no one is home. I think it may look directed more at him than anyone else, but he's the one who I'm around the most - so he notices more??? Plus I can fake it extremely well for short amounts of time, so I can interact with people and they have no idea I'm just .....meh. But I can't keep it up for long...

 

[Gemini83]

The reason I ask is that my husband, the most honorable person I’ve ever known, had horrible flare a few months ago. He was very self destructive and did what he considered an unforgivable act because he thought it would force me to leave. I know guilt is eating away at him. Some days he tells me he loves me other days he says he feels nothing ( looking back he never specified that it was me he felt nothing for). I assumed he was hiding behind his anger, anger is something he can deal with, his anger is fading. To me, it makes sense that if his anger is fading but he still isn’t ready to deal with everything else that he would be numb. That’s just a guess.

 

[JM318]

My other half often says his feelings for me go ‘up and down’, sometimes he feels all th...

I think there’s definitely a difference between him saying he doesn’t love you, and him actually meaning he doesn’t love you. What are things that he does to show you that he loves you? You can’t really take advice from people who say “it doesn’t sound like PTSD” because that’s not everyone’s story and everyone situation is unique. Their advice may be right for some, but take it with a grain of salt. Mine has told me he doesn’t love me when he’s symptomatic 1. To push me away 2. Because “I deserve better than him” 3. Because he’s numb and can’t “feel” anything... you’re the best person to judge this. Mine has left and came back several times, and the last separation he told me he thought about me every day (for 9 months). I can feel that our love/bond never left, and I knew it wasn’t the end of our story. I know when he’s not triggered that he loves me very much and shows me through his actions.

 

[Heather Nelson]

My other half often says his feelings for me go ‘up and down’, sometimes he feels all th...

Seems to be. My husband does almost exactly the same thing. It's so awful never feeling secure or safe in your relationship.