Dom Violence I'm really struggling - lonely & sad without abusive ex. how long is the grieving going to take?

[littleoc]

You ARE strong, @Slushie . You said it yourself. You're surviving so far.

Don't let yourself think otherwise. It's okay to have emotions and feel afraid, anxious, depressed, etc. It doesn't mean you're weak. It means you're healing.

:hug:

 

[Slushie]

Thank you @littleoc

I am healing but it does not feel like it. I got out, survived, but now my challenge is to rebuild my life with barely any support. I admit that I just don't feel strong enough to do it. I have no decent real life support and that is what I so desperately need :cry:

 

[littleoc]

Do you have any hobbies you do or might like to try that would get you around other people, at least?

That can be surprisingly helpful

 

[Slushie]

Thanks @littleoc, I did go to a group thing this week and was astonished at how much better I felt going to it, so I'm going to push myself to do more things like that. It's a start at least.

 

[littleoc]

Thanks @littleoc, I did go to a group thing this week and was astonished at how much...

It is!!! Great job!

 

[Whirlwind]

I did go to a group thing this week and was astonished at how much better I felt going to it,

Hi Slushie! That is it, you need to just DO things. I say that while fully understanding what it feels like to be alone....I hear people talk of family or friends and I just can't imagine. I cannot imagine having that kind of life. My attempt at "family" resulted in a DV.

So while I do feel the hurt I simply do not have a choice but get started on my life. No one can do it for me and I am starting (over) again with zero support. So I have to lean on myself there just is no choice. Over the weekend I had a car problem and was stranded in the middle of nowhere. I had tried to head out just to be around folks and there I was all alone and it was a holiday.

It was awful, there I was starting to asses the problem and change my tire on the side of the road. I don't have a single person I could call for help. It was a gut wrenching moment to be honest.

And before I knew it, a guy appeared and utterly insisted on helping me. Then another person showed up just to see what was going on....and then went home to get his compressor to pump up my spare...he had to drive another 60 min because of me! Then a couple showed up who insisted on following me down the freeway to their town's shop. They called ahead and insisted the shop folks wait for me and put on new tire...late on a holiday weekend. And the shop guys did and said they didn't mind at all....because my old car is so easy to change they could do it in a minute. People were hanging out, talking...like I wasn't a burden in the least. I cannot express what all of this meant to me.

It is moments like these that give me hope. These folks took time out of their weekend for me, a total stranger. And they helped me like no one could...they were beyond wonderful.

Moments like these make me think I am not so alone.....people can be incredibly kind. So I didn't make it to my destination but I came home feeling light, content and far from alone.

Just keep getting out there...my terrible dilemma turned into a heartwarming memory :-)

Take care, Whirlwind

 

[Slushie]

Definitely, doing things is super important, and really, I don't want to waste any more time not doing things! It's great to hear that you got so much help @Whirlwind, what a nice story, thank you for sharing it with us :)

There are still serious ups and downs for me currently.. I'm experiencing plenty of anger and regret.. but one thing is certain- I don't regret leaving.. and I will never go back to my ex.

Should have typed 'never' in great big bold letters, it feels great to be able to say that :D

 

[littleoc]

Hoping you're well :)

 

[Slushie]

Thanks @littleoc, hope you are well too

I'm still very up and down but overall just feeling determined to get through this and finally have my life back.

 

[littleoc]

I'm still very up and down but overall just feeling determined to get through this and finally have my life back.

You’ve got this!!! I know you can do it! You deserve a good life

 

[Slushie]

Thanks @littleoc :D

It's a tough road but not an impossible one.

 

[littleoc]

It's a tough road but not an impossible one.

Exactly :)

Hang in there!