Do you think healing means you have to feel everything?

[Snowflake]

Do you think healing means you have to feel everything?

 

[Muttly]

My firs reaction was "I sure hope not! I think the idea is you feel things but not in huge waves? You process through bit by bit and learn to manage new emotions as they come.

 

[Rani G2]

Not sure if the parts/states/splitted self' are always "ready" to feel or let feel

Have experienced that my apparently normal self is rationally aware of emotional conditions or is able to grasp them but a controlling part might step in to not feel because this was helpful while surviving. This coping system needs to be aware that now the traumatic experience is long gone.

 

[Snowflake]

My firs reaction was "I sure hope not! I think the idea is you feel things but not in huge waves? You pr...

So you probably will feel everything. The sadness, the anger, the fear, the shame, the guilt, the disgust, the pain, the hate.....etc etc.

Ugh-scary

 

[EveHarrington]

In theory. ;)

I have dissociated emotions and I’m not convinced that I want to fully integrate them yet, even though they prove problematic. There’s a plus side to dissociated emotions, and I’m not sure I want to give up those benefits!

 

[MrMoonlight]

I think we have to feel everything until we naturally stop reacting to it at such a high level.

 

[Rani G2]

Wondering how to crack the dissociative amnesia...

Having lost phases of days, weeks...
I feel even after being in Therapy I havent yet entered those sphere's. No memory, flashbacks..( maybe emotional) to hold on to. I know the ////facts///of me being with a person for a few Days in a house. No memory..

 

[Virtues]

IMO a full spectrum of emotion is normal; a narrowed spectrum of emotion is a coping mechanism I use to protect myself from emotions I don't want to feel or think I don't deserve to feel. The whole goal of therapy is to learn how to feel again, maybe not in an OMG this is overwhelming kind of way, but in an acceptance kind of way. Feeling provokes great anxiety for me, and I'm learning how to manage this all, but make no mistake about it the end game is to be able to have a full spectrum of emotions again. This is just my opinion; this is what my road to healing looks like.

 

[Snowflake]

In theory. ;)

I have dissociated emotions and I’m not convinced that I want to fully integrate...

What’s dissociated emotions @EveHarrington ?

IMO a full spectrum of emotion is normal; a narrowed spectrum of emotion is a coping mechanism I us...

Feeling provokes anxiety in me too

 

[frogthroat]

I actually asked that question this last therapy session and my T told me that's not necessarily the case. She said the point is to get to where when you're living life and you're triggered by something you can be like "Oh yeah that did happen to me" and then it passes through causing little or no distress to you. She told me not everything needs to be talked about or brought up. It does if it's causing distress and it won't process. As for all the things (and I'm specifically talking about CSA, neglect, or physical abuse because that's what I have experienced) the vague memories or just bad feelings you have but don't remember can get processed without trying to remember all that horror. It's not necessary to go over every little thing in excruciating detail to get better. I was terrified of that too.

 

[Virtues]

It's not necessary to go over every little thing in excruciating detail to get better

Don't take what I said the wrong way... the past is in the past; I also believe it should stay there, and we should focus on today and how PTSD is affecting our lives today. If that means processing the past (then so be it) if it doesn't (than that's fine too)... I'm just saying that my goal is to be able to experience all my emotions once again. Right now most everything gets filtered into the Fear/Anger filter and I'm trying to change that. I want to be able to experience: sadness, love, humor, excitement, etc... etc... etc...

@Snowflake ACT and PE are how I'm cobating the anxiety. Everyone is different, but this is what has worked best for me.

 

[Rani G2]

don't remember can get processed without trying to remember all that horror. It's not necessary to go over every little thing in excruciating detail to get better. I was terrified of that too.

Have been on therapy for almost 4 years now and there has been progression...BUT I also feel that this progression is about being more stabalized. But and thats what kind of scares me, is that there are 1-2 diasociative parts that I feel are not integrated in my Self. I struggle with this and feel that further Therapy is needful.

Sorry for hijacking this thread Snowflake