Is it normal for a sufferer to feel paranoia and selfdoubt about civvies having a low opinion about you?

[Never_falter2]

Is it normal for a Vet that they feel this sort of paranoia... like that they fear that people do not appreciate them and think that they are crazy... for example Vet has the idea that civvies at his workplace think he is crazy and goes and analyses and analyses little things they say and do. And he analysesthe little things our buddies say and do like “When John* said X, what did he mean by this?“ and I tell him I am sure that John* did not mean anything in particular he is not convinced and still asks me “Are you sure? Are you sure?“. But he does not go and ask them. Example John* said “You do not have to yell at me. I am not deaf“, now he thinks John* is telling vet his is deaf and crazy... he thinks John really wants to say “You do not have to yell at me, because I am not deaf... very much unlike you... deaf and crazy... look at you... deaf and crazy“ while I think only thing John wants to say is that he does not have to talk that loudly to him.
He does not yell at people or raise his voice btw, he just talks with a really loud voice and most unfortunately people often misunderstand. I think he cannot see that he is sometimes talking to loud because he is short of hearing. I totally do understand he is not yelling or raising his voice because he is talking very calm and collected just with his volume up.
Have to say that vet never tells the civvies they give him selfdoubts. Do you as a sufferer (not only vets) know this self doubts? Is this normal?
He is also feeling selfdoubt about other things, like I mentioned before he has a fear of germs and then he asks me multiple times if I really do think a thing is clean and germ free enough.

*John=name changed

 

[EveHarrington]

Yes, paranoia and it’s sister hypervigilance are very normal for PTSD sufferers.

 

[Sweetpea76]

Sure... it's worse when anxiety is high.

 

[Never_falter2]

Really? That’s good to hear because all the other vets seem to be so self confident... like they do not care about what others think at all... but than he comes across self confident too as long as he does not share the thoughts in his head... and who knows what those other vets are talking about with their wifes.

 

[Sweetpea76]

It's not so black and white. Most of the time my vet doesn't care. When his anxiety is high he gets cognitive distortions... he thinks he's garbage, everybody knows he's garbage, etc. He's not like this all the time.

 

[Never_falter2]

Nope, mine is not like this all of the time too but sometimes he think we’ll like you said that he is garbage and that people say: “Oh, look at this crazy, fat and deaf man. Ain‘t he an useless eater? Do away with him“ or “I feel so sorry for that useless, crazy and fat guy. I think we really must worry for poor crazy Vet, let‘s start a charity for that kind of basket case to show them poor forgotten souls Jesus loves them“.
Something like this I guess. I am paraphrasing this a bit, but he definetly think that people do think of him as an useless deaf and crazy man or would think of him like this if they knew what was going on inside his head.
But I do not think so. I do think if they knew what was going on inside his head they would know he only got a scar, like a mental scar, you know... and most people are really nice and understanding... of course there are some plain horrible people, but most are not like this.

 

[Sweetpea76]

And the reality of the situation is that people probably don't even have any kind of negative perception of your husband. It's all in his head. "You don't have to shout, I'm not deaf" is a common phrase. It has zero to do with your husband being deaf. It's a sarcastic response to elevated volume... "John" could have even been joking with your husband.

This is actually a symptom of PTSD. "Overly negative thoughts and assumptions about oneself or the world" are part of Crit. D.

 

[hithere]

Sounds REALLY like OCD. PTSD can kind of drive OCD, but this sounds so, so much like OCD! I found it really fascinating and useful that CBT for OCD really also had so many uses for PTSD, but not the other way around. What you are describing is "seeking assurance" which is an OCD thing and I did that until I got help with OCD--didn't even recognize that that was OCD. So I had to stop seeking assurance and sit with the very uncomfortable feelings of not knowing. OCD takes on so many different forms, there is Pure-O OCD and people don't realize that what they are doing is feeding the OCD.

So you have PTSD which has vigilance and it can totally kick off the OCD. The good news is, there are quick way to block off the OCD.

 

[hithere]

Also, that paranoia about people liking me, or talking behind my back, or I'm going to be fired. That is a common obsession for OCD sufferers.

 

[Never_falter2]

@hithere: My guy was actually diagnosed with combat ptsd... and though both of us sometimes doubt that diagnosis because we think that he does not suffer from some symptoms typical for combat ptsd and has some other symptoms not so typical for it, we do think that this diagnosis is right.
Yes, but he is definitely asking for assurance or comfort, because he does not want an open discussion about what John said but he wants to hear “It is okay, John did not mean to say this. You are very lovely not any bit crazy and John likes you a lot and doesn‘t mind you are a bit short of hearing“. I think it is just because he feels bad about himself and his worth on civvy street.
@Sweetpea76: Yes, I know John did not mean it like this. I just explained about him being short of hearing to explain why he always talks that loud. I am sure John did not want to be mean and has no idea that what he said hurt Vet‘s feeling.
I was talking about other people when I said some are rude. Some are but most fortunately they are a small minority.

 

[Never_falter2]

Also, that paranoia about people liking me, or talking behind my back, or I'm going to be fired. That is a common obsession for OCD sufferers.

Are you sure? Because he is really afraid to be fired because he feels unable to lead civvies in the workplace and he actually feels on the verge of nervous breakdown and suicide because of it.

He rarely talks about this bad feelings but he often talks about his feeling like he doesn‘t belong there (civvy street) anymore no matter how hard he tries and wants me to tell him that this is not true and civvy street is just the place for him. He believes he will never be able to lead civvies. It is bad for him and I am worried.
When he is feeling like this he sometimes me for comfort so to speak like asking me if the things he perceive are the reality. I tell him: nope, not at all and then he is happy for a while.

 

[Sweetpea76]

@Never_falter is he in therapy?