Only took 50 years to deal with my abuse.

[Still Standing]

YAY!!!!! You can see progress! Tho' EMDR is far from pleasant, it is amazing how it allows you to face and process your trauma/s. It helps you to desensitize it and perhaps, as @Freida and I have experienced, you can "change" the narrative and your brain accepts it as the alternative to what really happened....it does not negate things, it simply creates a way for you to address, process, and escape a memory experience. It does make you very tired after a session. That is because your brain has just worked very hard and it and your body are reacting to the efforts you have put into the therapy session. Good job, @PTSDGuy. I am pleased that you are seeing improvement, already.

 

[PTSDGuy]

YAY!!!!! You can see progress! Tho' EMDR is far from pleasant, it is amazing how it allows you to face and process your trauma/s. It helps you to desensitize it and perhaps, as @Freida and I have experienced, you can "change" the narrative and your brain accepts it as the alternative to what really happened....it does not negate things, it simply creates a way for you to address, process, and escape a memory experience. It does make you very tired after a session. That is because your brain has just worked very hard and it and your body are reacting to the efforts you have put into the therapy session. Good job, @PTSDGuy. I am pleased that you are seeing improvement, already.

Just got back from therapy... My T was just as excited about my progress as everyone on here... but to be honest, I think I'm too exhausted to be excited right now... I mean, I'm happy that I felt it so strongly, but EMDR yesterday, an extra session of therapy today, plus therapy tomorrow... I may be in bed by 7:00 tonight!

I think what really helped was suddenly realizing during EMDR just how much I fought back against my father... I've sort of always remembered the sex part, but I started remembering trying to kick and push him off me.

Somehow remembering that, plus realizing that I had a LOT of reasons to hate him my whole life, allowed me to start forgiving myself finally... When the EMDR therapist asked me what positive belief about myself I want to feel, I said that "I was a tough little f*cker who SURVIVED"... and I actually felt it and meant it...

I was worried I was doing EMDR "wrong"... But I guess I am doing a good job! ?

 

[ladee]

Awesome news and awesome progress. Very happy to see that you are remembering fighting back!!! That is something for you to help build on that self forgiveness.

Yep, doing it right!! Making progress. And being proud of yourself! Was so good to read this tonight.

Hope you get some restful sleep.

 

[PTSDGuy]

OK, this isn't the place for me... I just got told I'm not allowed to respond to the Conversion Therapy thread like I'm some kind of bigot.

There have been some really nice people on here, but I didn't come here to feel attacked. I'm done

 

[somerandomguy]

You aren't the first person who has reacted to getting dinged by Anthony in that way and I get it. It makes me sad when this happens, though. I really hope you come back.

 

[PTSDGuy]

Thank you.... Of all the people here, I feel you understand.... I'm not sure why, but I feel it....

Damn, I'm sitting here sobbing....

 

[somerandomguy]

Here with you.

Let's just not go into that thread anymore together, OK? We know there are some people here who don't get it. It sucks but I think we're just going to have to let them not get it.

It happened to me in a thread about, well, circumcision, which is a big trigger for me. But it's not my identity, like this is for you. So I can imagine how hard it must be and how bad it makes you feel.

We can stick together, though. Regardless of the people who don't get it. This IS a healing place. Those people are just everywhere, even in the best places.

 

[PTSDGuy]

I was so close to hitting de-activate, but I'm not thinking right... I had a huge fight with the husband today - like looking into divorce huge... then I came here and got called a bigot...

This has been the worst day of my life...

 

[PTSDGuy]

Here with you.

Let's just not go into that thread anymore together, OK? We know there are some people here who don't get it. It sucks but I think we're just going to have to let them not get it.

It happened to me in a thread about, well, circumcision, which is a big trigger for me. But it's not my identity, like this is for you. So I can imagine how hard it must be and how bad it makes you feel.

We can stick together, though. Regardless of the people who don't get it. This IS a healing place. Those people are just everywhere, even in the best places.

Sorry, I'm a mess... I read your message... and like always I understand you..... I wanna hide... damn... i'm in a flashback...

I hate this so much..... hard to type....

 

[somerandomguy]

Can you do some grounding? Can you look around the room? What color are the walls? How many walls in the room? How many windows? Shades or blinds? Any curtains? What color are the curtains?

Shit, I'd be upset too. Always seems like on the worst days thing just keep coming. But it'll be tomorrow soon. A better day.

 

[somerandomguy]

Hey - and right now you're totally, completely, 100% safe. You're an adult. You are awesome.

 

[PTSDGuy]

I just remembered I got some fragrances or whatever because of people on here..... guess i should try em...