Self Respect. How do you give yourself respect?

[EveHarrington]

How do you give yourself self respect?

Thanks.

:hug:

 

[Friday]

By earning it.

Ties in very strongly with ‘What do you value?’

 

[bellbird]

How do you give yourself self respect?

How do I get to a place where I can give it to myself, or how do I show myself respect?

 

[EveHarrington]

How do you give yourself self respect?

Thanks.

:hug:

Clarification

What are the ways in which you exhibit SELF RESPECT.

ie I do this or I do that.

 

[barefoot]

Maybe one way is by doing what I want rather than what I think others want or what I think I *should* do? So, I guess that’s about knowing what I want, knowing my values (what’s important to me), setting/holding boundaries, being able to say no, not always putting other people’s needs before my own.

Not in a selfish way. But more about: will this decision/action etc serve me in a positive healthy way. Or will it please/help other people but it’s not actually helpful to me/it’s not actually what I want to do.

I’m not sure if that’s the sort of thing you mean, but it’s what came up for me when I read it...and that’s probably because those things are coming up for me a lot with some family stuff at the moment. I’ve been prioritising how I might be able to make things easier for others whereas I’m now starting to realise that the things I’m offering to do are not things I actually want to do. And, I think in some ways, doing them will probably be harmful to me - or, at least, they won’t support me or make me feel good. Doing these things trying to make things easier for others actually just makes the situ harder for me.

So, I think there’s also something about self-compassion/showing kindness to myself in that too. I reckon self- compassion is probably a foundation required for self respect? Not sure...I’m not generally very good at self-compassion but it seems to me that there’s probably (maybe!) a relationship between the two.

 

[The Albatross]

Self respect meaning: pride and confidence in oneself; a feeling that one is behaving with honor and dignity - right?

Self care and healthful practices and routines combined with goal challenges that provide new experiences. Via personal care and health comes self worth/value, via experiences comes confidence. When you acknowledge your own worth by way of compassionate, kind, caring, nurturing deeds for body/mind/soul/spirit you eventually restore personal dignity. Honor? Well that would be character development. Pride is a sticky thing for me. But if I look well groomed, healthy, and am reasonably dressed... even when I don't feel up to it, I can be proud of myself about doing the harder thing and being or performing in a way that is beneficial irrespective of my feelings. Same for actions... I don't have to be wholely comfortable in situations where I act in accordance with my nature, character, values and can feel proud of myself for doing the kind, fair, right, just, good thing even when it makes me feel stressed.

 

[Deleted member 42984]

I would say, being assertive. Expressing what you want. Setting healthy boundaries. Saying yes when you mean yes and no when you mean no. Speaking up when something bugs you. But also speaking up about what you like.

 

[grit]

I say no.
If I find my no hurt a person inadvertently (like I misread their approach), I clarify my no with, it is not my ibetntion to hurt or disappoint or appear aloof or whatever the situation calls for. But I do not want to do that or I disagree with that.

PS. I chose 'I don't' depending on the situations. To be clear I do not say I cannt or won't when I mean no. I do this to respect me and also respect others by not leading them on unnecessary when truly I rather not.

If this person is my husband or manager or important, I may offer more explanation or alternative.

Hope that makes sense

 

[Friday]

What are the ways in which you exhibit SELF RESPECT.

By following the dictates of my conscience.

Mostly they fall under 3 categories.
- The things I don’t even have to think about.
- The things I struggle with.
- The things I have no respect for, to flat out disrespect.

Don’t even have to think about
- If a drunk, construction worker, or bum makes sexual advances towards me? I don’t stop in the middle of the sidewalk, drop my pants, and bend over for him to f*ck me. I just keep walking. Zillion other examples in kind. The trick to these is OF COURSE I WOULD NEVER. That’s the point where it’s so innante and well practiced it’s discounted as irrelevent. It’s not. It’s just solid is all.
- What might seem like an opposite example but totally isn’t, because what it comes down to is a judgment call? I’ve flashed people to get their attention, or shut them up. Not because I’m lacking in self respect, but because I’ve got it in spades. They’re just tits. Half the world has them. I feel weirder walking around with my hair uncovered in Islamic countries. Do I do it very often? Well, the hair uncovered, yes, but I’m in the US. Flashing people, nope. It’s been useful on occasion, though.

The things I struggle with
- Are the things I’m aware of, the things I’m learning through trial and error where my beliefs lie, the things I’m attempting to change (from having zip zero nada respect for to outright disrespecting), earning my own respect, etc.
- An example of type (since I appear to have bodies on the brain, at the moment) is I have very little respect for the limitations of my body. I ask too much of myself, too quickly, and put myself through hell in the process. Learning to slow down & not begin as I mean to go on? Is an ongoing struggle.

 

[bellbird]

Given my circumstances at the moment, I'm taking it right back to basics.
-nourishing my body with healthy food
-drinking water
-taking my medications on time
-showering and maintaining good hygeine
-checking in with myself and being honest to myself about how I'm feeling

 

[Deleted member 42984]

nourishing my body with healthy food
-drinking water
-taking my medications on time
-showering and maintaining good hygeine
-checking in with myself and being honest to myself about how I'm feeling

Seems to me like basic self-care. Self respect is something different imo, although they may be intertwined in some way

 

[bellbird]

Seems to me like basic self-care.

Yep; at a fundamental level, I show myself respect through practicing self care :)