Cameron1988
New Here
Hi everyone!
I’m gonna try to write this down as short as possible..
I recently started going to therapy and got told I have PTSD.
The traumatic experience was about 8 years ago.
My girlfriend at the time cheated on me with multiple men. Some of those men showed me evidence (pictures/messages), all sexually themed.. One night while we were upstairs sleeping, a guy she was seeing (I had no clue) broke into her apartment, pulled me out of bed, beat me up, threw me down the stairs.. He humiliated me, saying that a girl could never be enough for her(my gf then), saying other messed up things about gay woman..
I broke it off, went on with my life, didn’t date anyone for about 4 years.
Before that happened I was a very open minded woman and couldn’t care less about gender or who someone dated or identified as.
Now years later things are become more clear to me.
My current gf has a history with men, she identifies as a lesbian though.
I can’t stand the thought, completely freak out about it, my stomach turns when I see her talking to guys she used to sleep with.
I feel the constant threat of being left for a man.
I know this isn’t her issue but mine. She knows what I’ve been through and I’ve tried to talk about how things make me feel.
She once said one of those guys is great in bed, to her friend, while I was sitting there.
She doesn’t get that it bothers me, it’s in the past (but she sees him daily, now less because it hurts me but it’s obviously not what she wants).
I decided to start therapy because I can’t have a relationship like this anymore.
But now talking to my therapist has made me realize that maybe she’s no good for me.
I know I’m hard to stand sometimes, freak out over nothing, act jealous when it comes to guys she has a history with.. But ai understand now that I’m not crazy, I have ptsd, what I went through isn’t just something small..
I just feel heartbroken that she just can’t take it anymore, she broke up with me because she doesn’t feel like she can see her friends all time.
Haaa it’s complicated.. just wanted to write this down I guess..
I’m gonna try to write this down as short as possible..
I recently started going to therapy and got told I have PTSD.
The traumatic experience was about 8 years ago.
My girlfriend at the time cheated on me with multiple men. Some of those men showed me evidence (pictures/messages), all sexually themed.. One night while we were upstairs sleeping, a guy she was seeing (I had no clue) broke into her apartment, pulled me out of bed, beat me up, threw me down the stairs.. He humiliated me, saying that a girl could never be enough for her(my gf then), saying other messed up things about gay woman..
I broke it off, went on with my life, didn’t date anyone for about 4 years.
Before that happened I was a very open minded woman and couldn’t care less about gender or who someone dated or identified as.
Now years later things are become more clear to me.
My current gf has a history with men, she identifies as a lesbian though.
I can’t stand the thought, completely freak out about it, my stomach turns when I see her talking to guys she used to sleep with.
I feel the constant threat of being left for a man.
I know this isn’t her issue but mine. She knows what I’ve been through and I’ve tried to talk about how things make me feel.
She once said one of those guys is great in bed, to her friend, while I was sitting there.
She doesn’t get that it bothers me, it’s in the past (but she sees him daily, now less because it hurts me but it’s obviously not what she wants).
I decided to start therapy because I can’t have a relationship like this anymore.
But now talking to my therapist has made me realize that maybe she’s no good for me.
I know I’m hard to stand sometimes, freak out over nothing, act jealous when it comes to guys she has a history with.. But ai understand now that I’m not crazy, I have ptsd, what I went through isn’t just something small..
I just feel heartbroken that she just can’t take it anymore, she broke up with me because she doesn’t feel like she can see her friends all time.
Haaa it’s complicated.. just wanted to write this down I guess..