Should I leave my hometown?

[Being the Change]

Hi there, My name is Devyn. I am 21 and living with CPTSD and attachment and abandonment trauma. I'm currently in university in my home town. I'm noticing that I am falling behind and not understanding things that once made perfect sense to me. The number of flashbacks has also increased and I spend most of my days disassociating. I'm starting to think that the trauma from my home town has become to much and that I need to distance myself from it so I can heal and be productive in my studies. My family thinks I'm a flight risk and that all I want to do is avoid these triggers. How do I go about explaining that i just want the space and freedom to finally heal and move past these events?

 

[arfie]

hello devyn. welcome to the board.

personally, i think everybody oughta leave their home town, at least for a little while. it's an amazing world we live in and it's worth the effort to see how things are done outside the nest you were born into. a strategy i might suggest for "explaining" it to family is to put together your plan for moving and then inform them of those plans when it is too late for them to have opinions on the subject. just announce, "this is how it's gonna be, folks. love you. let's keep in touch"

i'm frequently amazed how much closer i feel to my loved ones with a little physical distance between us.

 

[Being the Change]

hello devyn. welcome to the board.

personally, i think everybody oughta leave their home town, at least for a little while. it's an amazing world we live in and it's worth the effort to see how things are done outside the nest you were born into. a strategy i might suggest for "explaining" it to family is to put together your plan for moving and then inform them of those plans when it is too late for them to have opinions on the subject. just announce, "this is how it's gonna be, folks. love you. let's keep in touch"

i'm frequently amazed how much closer i feel to my loved ones with a little physical distance between us.

Thank you so much. I moved away for a few years but my families strangle hold on me made me come home and I've been trying to escape

 

[12birds]

I am also a person with a very tightly wound family. I left my hometown during college (and came home every single weekend because I was homesick). That distance was the key to me getting help for my CPTSD, practicing healthy boundaries, and a truck load of growth as an individual and functioning adult.

Even if you're only comfortable going 20 minutes away, you are setting your own space. You could explain that your hometown doesn't offer the kind of experiences you want. Or simply explain you'd like to do your own thing.

Welcome and good luck in forging your path.

 

[Friday]

How do I go about explaining that i just want the space and freedom to finally heal and move past these events?

Don’t. Just do them… and reap the rewards of having done so.

 

[Justmehere]

I don't know what you should do. Leaving my hometown was one of the best things I did in my life. It didn't make things easier - but different. I had space to breathe, get a handle on things, not have to be faced with walking where trauma happened on the regular.

 

[scout86]

The number of flashbacks has also increased and I spend most of my days disassociating.

Any idea what's causing that?

 

[Dolce]

I would very much like to leave my home town. I would say it's a good idea if you can. It can give new opportunities and perspectives on life and yourself.
I did it long ago when I had less stuff. Now I am bogged down w more stuff....literally and otherwise. I would very much like to "escape" my hometown in central
Pa. If you have the opportunity I say go for it. It could be the best thing you ever did. If it's your family that caused you some of this distance is good physical and otherwise. I moved from central Pa to Hawaii for some years before now am stuck back here again w nothing holding me here but my health and stuff.
So if you can do it I say do it. It might free you in some ways and open your eyes to other things.

I would agree with the words of JustMeHere. And if I could I would do it. You should do what is best for you but yes having the reminders surrounding you
makes it difficult. Having a fresh start is sometimes a wonderful thing and I wish you luck with it if that is your path.