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Moving stress (and managing insiders)

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Hi and welcome @Ecdysis.

The drive went better than we expected. It was long and the first few days when Tat and I were really tired were hard but as far as the pets and traffic/roads/weather went, it was smooth sailing. At some point Tat and I had a really deep talk about stuff. It was hard but good. It definitely helped me understand when Tat was tired and sore that he wasn't mad.

Living with Tat has been easier than we expected. It sort of feels like we have always lived with him and it's comfortable. Probably the hardest parts for us is that we have in our head we are going to be a problem. That he is going to feel like we are invading his space and expecting too much or something. We know that isn't based on logic. We know we are actually helping him. He has ADHD and we've cleaned stuff and organized stuff (With his permission) that he hasn't been able to do. But we can't stop feeling like we are creating issues. The other thing is that our dog is a bit difficult. Always has been. Add to that, he is now old and gets a bit confused in the new place and sometimes it seems Tat is mad at him and that brings all kinds of tangled feelings up. Tat must have picked some of that up because he said the other day that he likes hypermutt and mostly isn't mad. He's just trying to teach him. (There's probably more to say about that)

Living in a completely new place and having it be so far and different from where I've always lived.... well... we've been saying we are fine and all but maybe it's kind of hard. We might not be processing that yet?

And we are starting to look for a new therapist and not really happy about it.

I hope your move goes smoothly
 
Hey @Muttly
It's good to hear how your move has gone.
So many positive things!
And of course, there are also challenging and stressful bits, some of which you'll only be able to fully process later, once all the functioning and surviving of a challenging situation is done.
Honestly, any outcome that's better than "it's a disaster" sounds like a pretty good outcome to me, given how challenging moving to a new place is.
So well done to you!
If my move goes even 1/4 as smoothly, I'll be very relieved.
 
Add to that, he is now old and gets a bit confused in the new place and sometimes it seems Tat is mad at him and that brings all kinds of tangled feelings up. T
Sounds more like - not used to him and frustrated. Older animals get like humans - very patterned. I am realizing this again with the kittens....they have no pattern and it has been difficult to get used to.

Good luck with the search for a therapist. If you have only had one - its not fun starting over. Different is difficult at first. I was hoping to get in early and break into the schedule but that seems to be the hard part with a good therapist......
 
@Muttly glad to hear the update! Sounds like overall things are going well? This part
feels like we have always lived with him
Sounds really nice!
helped me understand when Tat was tired and sore that he wasn't mad.
This is so great! I have struggled with that myself and wonder how I would deal with it if I ever allowed myself to be in an intimate relationship again. Good to see you making that connection—bet it makes things smoother overall, even if ignoring/challenging those old thought patterns is still work.
Different is difficult at first.
Well said!!
 
So happy it's working out!
And ya - anytime you move it's going to be stressful because you leave behind everything that is "normal" in your day to day. Now you have to create a whole new environment and that's tough. Remember good stress is just as bad as bad stress. 😀
 
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