Hey everyone, I've been in therapy for 4 months and something occured a few weeks ago that left me pretty shook and wondering if anyone else might've experienced the same or have so tips how to deal with it
Basically, a few weeks ago I sent my T a short message after a session. I said in the message that some stuff in the therapy session had triggered me and that I'd appreciate it if she could call, but that it would also be ok to wait till the next session.
She called me the next day but the conversation felt really tense. We talked about the thing in the session that triggered me and that put me at ease (was unrelated to this all, I had previous T in which my therapist sent my doctor info she shouldn't tho I talked it over), but also mentioned in the session that I shouldn't take it personal if she wouldn't have the chance to respond to messages in the future, and also that she hoped I'd develop my trust outside of therapy si I wouldn't feel the need to contact her outside of therapy and would feel good enough to wait till the next session
The next session she mentioned we'd need clear boundaries about contact going forward which shook me since, with all the different things I thought might influence my therapy (again I trust issues) the message I sent wasn't one of them. We talked about what had happened but I was really stuck in my feelings and everything I said seemed only to push my therapist away more which also unnerved me since I really felt I was losing control
After the 2nd session we talked about it, I've since read up about boundaries and realized what had happened, namely that (a) we should've established boundaries upfront and (b) I already crossed her boundary without knowing it which is what kind of made this more difficult to deal with than if we'd talk up front (that's my conclusion so far anyway)
Right now she is on vacation so I won't see her in a few weeks but I'm not sure how to go about this issue. I already know that I can respect the rules she set out (only call if I want her to call me back, and message if it can wait so she won't have to call me based on that) and that is no problem since I never felt much of a need to contact her between sessions anyway (this is the first message I shot since we started therapy). However the trust issue is something I feel really affected in, I've been in multiple therapies and me sending that message at the time was the last thing I ever thought would cause any issues (though I maybe could've anticipated a bit, she sometimes seemed nervous contacting me out of sessions) and it had made me feel really uncertain about being open to her easily since the last time it caused all of the above
Any thoughts, anyone ever dealt with this before? Funnily enough there's some irony I feel in me being wholly scared therapy would be terminated because of all sorts of things (unrelated to the above but I have trust issues) and the thing that has perturbed me the most was sending a freaking message over the client portal. Any ideas or advice is appreciated, I really liked working with her aside this so it would be great to mend this somehow
Basically, a few weeks ago I sent my T a short message after a session. I said in the message that some stuff in the therapy session had triggered me and that I'd appreciate it if she could call, but that it would also be ok to wait till the next session.
She called me the next day but the conversation felt really tense. We talked about the thing in the session that triggered me and that put me at ease (was unrelated to this all, I had previous T in which my therapist sent my doctor info she shouldn't tho I talked it over), but also mentioned in the session that I shouldn't take it personal if she wouldn't have the chance to respond to messages in the future, and also that she hoped I'd develop my trust outside of therapy si I wouldn't feel the need to contact her outside of therapy and would feel good enough to wait till the next session
The next session she mentioned we'd need clear boundaries about contact going forward which shook me since, with all the different things I thought might influence my therapy (again I trust issues) the message I sent wasn't one of them. We talked about what had happened but I was really stuck in my feelings and everything I said seemed only to push my therapist away more which also unnerved me since I really felt I was losing control
After the 2nd session we talked about it, I've since read up about boundaries and realized what had happened, namely that (a) we should've established boundaries upfront and (b) I already crossed her boundary without knowing it which is what kind of made this more difficult to deal with than if we'd talk up front (that's my conclusion so far anyway)
Right now she is on vacation so I won't see her in a few weeks but I'm not sure how to go about this issue. I already know that I can respect the rules she set out (only call if I want her to call me back, and message if it can wait so she won't have to call me based on that) and that is no problem since I never felt much of a need to contact her between sessions anyway (this is the first message I shot since we started therapy). However the trust issue is something I feel really affected in, I've been in multiple therapies and me sending that message at the time was the last thing I ever thought would cause any issues (though I maybe could've anticipated a bit, she sometimes seemed nervous contacting me out of sessions) and it had made me feel really uncertain about being open to her easily since the last time it caused all of the above
Any thoughts, anyone ever dealt with this before? Funnily enough there's some irony I feel in me being wholly scared therapy would be terminated because of all sorts of things (unrelated to the above but I have trust issues) and the thing that has perturbed me the most was sending a freaking message over the client portal. Any ideas or advice is appreciated, I really liked working with her aside this so it would be great to mend this somehow