There is a reason for my despair and anger

[DogTired]

Another day, another charity, but no real help outside of friendship.
I'm not knocking all the mental health charities because some of them do good work .
However wouldn't it be nice to actually get some CLINICAL HELP, indeed any help, from the UK's NHS mental heath system?
It's coming up for 7 months now and NOTHING. Just vague promises, and no dates for therapy.
Plus limp answers to direct questions about when am I getting any clinical help.

To that end, I'm beginning to see the logic in what other guys have said to me.
The only way to wake up the system is to demonstrate the results of NOT treating a combat vets PTSD.
That would be easy if I wasn't so loath to let my hyper vigilance or dark side turn physical on someone or something.
Something I have been trying to avoid for coming up to 40 years of living with PTSD.

Meanwhile, internationally I hear from friends about how more "damaged vets" are returning to the s**t .
Something a few friends have done as what's the point just sitting there in pain and subsistance living.
It is something that has crossed my mind although in my physical condition and age, I don't think I'd last long.
Which, right now, really doesn't worry me.

 

[Survivor3]

Good morning @DogTired ,welcome to the site . It can take a very long time to receive therapeutic support from the NHS. Been there myself. I eventually decided to pay for private counselling myself and it was the best decision I could have made. It really helped. Are you in a position financially that you could pay for private therapy/counselling?

 

[Midnightmoon]

However wouldn't it be nice to actually get some CLINICAL HELP, indeed any help, from the UK's NHS mental heath system?
It's coming up for 7 months now and NOTHING. Just vague promises, and no dates for therapy.

Is a GP referral for walking with the wounded an option, or self refer to PTSD resolutions? (Unsure of course you may have already done these with similar outcomes).

 

[DogTired]

Good morning @DogTired ,welcome to the site . It can take a very long time to receive therapeutic support from the NHS. Been there myself. I eventually decided to pay for private counselling myself and it was the best decision I could have made. It really helped. Are you in a position financially that you could pay for private therapy/counselling?

Unhappily no. Right now I'm getting some help from guys I worked with in the late 1980's. Some of them are damaged the same as me so they know from their experiences and treatment some of what I'm going through and what they did to defeat it. Do I think they are better than "professional help"? How would I judge having had no professional help since asking for help? The one truth I know is I still trust them with my life.

 

[DogTired]

Is a GP referral for walking with the wounded an option, or self refer to PTSD resolutions? (Unsure of course you may have already done these with similar outcomes).

Hi Midnight moon.
A GP referral got me an introduction into this "non event" NHS program.
Speaking to my GP again, he was unwilling to do more and "I should give them more time". That really annoyed me so I felt compelled to make a point.
So I showed him my visible scars and asked if he could at least make them tidy.
He showed his worth by dipping his gaze and looking away. I quietly walked out.

It's been my unhappy experience that ANYTHING NHS is broken and only the rich, or those willing to put themselves into debt, can afford private treatments.

Before anyone says charities - That's what I'm exploring now but my location is often quoted as outside of their area of operation. Which is why we are selling up to move. It's a gamble that I hope pays off. Outside of that, I don't know what else to do.

 

[Midnightmoon]

That's an awful attitude from the GP, I'm so sorry though can't say I'm surprised unfortunately. You could escalate to PALs but I know that takes a fight and life is exhausting enough without battling the system

As far as I know PTSD resolutions you can self refer to and they are a country wide service... It's been a while since I've worked in MH services but a quick nosey on the website is telling me it's the same now.

Charities, yeah, totally understand the area restrictions. I'll throw the HFS into the pot just incase you haven't come across them yet. They are national and fund £1K worth of private treatment.

 

[Survivor3]

That's an awful attitude from the GP, I'm so sorry though can't say I'm surprised unfortunately. You could escalate to PALs but I know that takes a fight and life is exhausting enough without battling the system

As far as I know PTSD resolutions you can self refer to and they are a country wide service... It's been a while since I've worked in MH services but a quick nosey on the website is telling me it's the same now.

Charities, yeah, totally understand the area restrictions. I'll throw the HFS into the pot just incase you haven't come across them yet. They are national and fund £1K worth of private treatment.

What does HFS stand for?

 

[Midnightmoon]

What does HFS stand for?

These guys (realised I had a dyslexic moment and put the letters the wrong way round, which won't have helped in the slightest sorry! It's HSF!)

Hospital Saturday Fund – Making Medical Grants to Improve the Health of Communities

hospitalsaturdayfund.org

 

[Friday]

Way back when… I didn’t realise “this” was PTSD. I thought it was “just” the cost of doing business. Occupational hazard. How I was, now.

You could have knocked me over with a FEATHER, when I found out that “this” was temporary/transitory/dependent on other things.

I have ADHD-c. That? IS static.

My PTSD stuff? I started applying ADHD rules to… and. was. blown. away. Because it’s NOT perm. It’s NOT static. It is INTENSELY treatable/effected by outside things.

I didn’t have any kind of “therapy” the first time my PTSD blew up. I became a cliche, instead. (Work. Party. Crash.). Over time I learned how to deal with my triggers and stressors and live a BADASS life. It took me roughly 5 years to unf*ck my head, my heart, my life). When everything went sideways on me… again? 20 years later? By then I had degrees and shit that told me there were “better” / “faster” ways. I cannot vouch for that… as it’s taken me more than twice as long to unf*ck myself half as well. Understanding the science HAS given me new (and mad better!) tools. But??? We’re seeeeeriously cuspy when we’re talking science/trauma/combat. A few thousand years of recorded history…versus… a few decades of grasping. Combat? Changes people. It just does. Trauma? Often changes people, but not always. How??? Is VERY predictable. How to unf*ck that? Dot dot dot?mIE, ther are a whole helluva lotta tips/tricks/useful as f*ck tools. That lead to things like… SLEEP. Good, actual, real, sleep! So, f*ck YES that, in and of itself? Worth. It.

Some McTherapy by a McTherapist? Pff. f*ck that noise.

Therapy is only as good as the person doing it. Maybe? They stop you from reinventing the wheel, and give you the damn diagrams for how to build a wheel. Maybe they don’t even known what a wheel is. Point being? Never pin your success on another peraon. Take it to your life, itself. And build the everloving f*ck outta It.

 

[DogTired]

Luckily I still have a few Bro's who came back broken from there who are walking and talking.
The only time I relax is when speaking to them.
I know I'll get a kicking for saying this but can some white-coat who has not lived combat ever really understand the myriad of emotions you get hit with?
That and endured what can't be unseen or forgotten over time?
Don't hit me with "they are trained to understand and know."
Books and recorded or actual words, aren't worth a spit when compared to the physical reality.

In my early life with PTSD various white coats have done this or that to 'help me'. It never lasts.
I suppose when first mind-f*cked I was happy to take their pills but most got flushed away as I never did like living a chemical dream.
I think I also left it too late to go back into the shit. I was, and still am, too wrapped up in living with a gentle soul.
So it didn't seem right to leave her just to re-enter that world one last time and to see if I could survive again, or end up eating at Valhalla's table, or burning in hell.
Problem is I also know I'm too old and knackered to go back.
Damn how I hate all of this.

 

[hypervigilant]

Thanks for mentioning the HFS.
I have just had a reply to my email and they would consider helping me if I can get medical backing. Has anyone else had any luck with the Fund?

 

[Midnightmoon]

Thanks for mentioning the HFS.
I have just had a reply to my email and they would consider helping me if I can get medical backing. Has anyone else had any luck with the Fund?

Sounds positive
They've funded for me in the past towards my 1st wheelchair