My mother is a survivor of a couple of instances of sexual abuse (though she will never admit it outside of the only time she did tell me; she is not very good at being good to herself or dealing with herself over others). She had this experience where she was in a public restroom, and she heard the door open and then someone turned off the lights. She told this scenario to about 7 different people of different genders, asking them what their first thought was. All of the men she asked said, "Someone just turned off the light not realizing someone was in there--oops!" All of the women said that they would have feared an attack/rape.
...What does this say for perception?
It's true that at any moment the hunter can become the bird. But it is so hard for me to see that. I'm sorry, no offense meant to male sufferers, but most men with whom I interact do not know what it IS to feel fear when walking down a street at night. They do not know what it is to fear every passing car. They do not know what it is to make sure when parking that you don't park next to a large van or SUV that will block you from other's vision and potentiate a kidnapping. They do not know what it is to be afraid in an elevator. They do not know what it is to be afraid of stairwells. They do not know what it is.
Part of me wishes I could show them. I can't and really don't want to. I just want people to respect life and happiness and the rights of others as highly as I do. I was constantly in trouble at my last school (a community college I attended throughout high school to accumulate a transcript due to previously being home schooled). The guys there were all seven feet tall and had 100 pound girlfriends who they liked to yank around and be very physical with in public. I saw a lot of girls begging their boyfriends to stop what they were doing as they struggled to free their wrists or arms from the boyfriend's grasp. I would often go over and tell these guys that what they were doing was inappropriate and intolerable, that they needed to let their girlfriends go right now because they were asking them to do so. It was like they thought they were totally invisible to others, like their behavior had been so unchecked that they could not have fathomed this little 5'2" girl walking up to them and giving them a what-for. I was often worried that they would just shove me over or hit me, but I knew that they couldn't rape or kill me and that if they assaulted me it would be a HUGE charge (I was 13-17, these guys were 18-27ish).
Okay, stop writing now. Just, the inconsiderate way in which many people treat life never fails to amaze and horrify me.
