Relationship I'm In Constant Fear Of My Husband Leaving Me

[Francis Cory]

Every day I wake up I wonder if today is going to be the day he leaves again. I'm always asking him if we are ok and I walk on egg shells all the time. How do I self-soothe and realize that he is here. He keeps telling me that he's not going anywhere. But with the arguing pretty much all the time its hard to think that he'd want to stay. I'm trying to stay supportive but its really hard. What do I do?

 

[revelry]

I'm not entirely sure whats going here, but he tells you he isn't going anywhere, maybe you have to find some trust in that. In ANY realationship there is going to be arguing, it just depends on if it constructive arguing or deconstuctive. Are you a carer, sufferer or both? Remember that everyone needs space, regardless of individual issues. Try to take a step back and access. I know it can be hard, but sometimes we don't see the BIG picture because were IN it.

 

[AngelaMarie]

There is really not enough information to give advice or understand the background of the situation.

 

[Ladyhope Somerset]

Every day I wake up I wonder if today is going to be the day he leaves again. I'm always asking him if we are ok and I walk on egg shells all the time. How do I self-soothe and realize that he is here. He keeps telling me that he's not going anywhere. But with the arguing pretty much all the time its hard to think that he'd want to stay. I'm trying to stay supportive but its really hard. What do I do?

Hello Francis

I like your words "self-soothe" and only you will know what will work for you. (It's an interesting process.) What do you do for you that makes you feel good and relaxed. Relaxation, mindfulness, massage, swimming, cooking and writing are examples. For me it's relaxation, chi gong and being in nature on my own!

Here's the difficult bit. Asking him if things are ok all the time, especially if you are tense will not be helpful. If you absolutely can't trust him, that's an unhealthy relationship. An atmosphere of mistrust is unbearable after a while.

I've know that room with the eggshells on the floor, it's damn painful and sapped my energy. I don't go there any more. There's a wealth of knowldge on this site. Be patient and learn to take care of yourself. Keep posting.
There's support here for everyone who wants it.