Driving To The Shop with PTSD

[anthony]

Now someone should make sticky signs to place on ones car rear window, bumper, and everything with space, allowing the person behind to know the driver has PTSD, which means "get the **** off my arse or I'm going to belt you" syndrome.

I put bub in the car, reverse out of driveway, happy and merry going to the shops to get things for dinner.

Wanker young driver in 30 year old BMW, sunroof up for coolness factor, sitting on my arse, couple meters off it, whom couldn't afford to polish my car let alone fix it if collided with it, and can't read a sign "baby on board" on back window, decides to tailgate me...

I watch, slow down, he gets closer, so I lock up brakes for second, watch him shit pants, then he gets right back where he was. Well, he had balls, and obviously no idea whom was at the wheel.

I brake, coming to halt on the road, get out of car and going to belt living shit out of this little prick, who then realises, ooooppppppsssssss, pissed the wrong person off, and pulls out around me zooming off as quick as he could.

Ok, didn't get to release frustration caused by dickhead driver... now I'm at the shops.

Stop by dry cleaners to pick up pants my son had torn the arse out off... $6 please says the lady, as I pull out my card to pay... "sorry, its under $10 you need to pay cash"! Well I think, time to serve her.

Anthony: What is that machine their?
Lady: Eftpos.
Anthony: And what does an eftpos machine do?
Lady: Accepts bank and credit cards.
Anthony: Ok then, so you have the resources, but I can't use them because the amount isn't enough?
Lady: Correct
Anthony: So why do you have it then, if I can't use it, as I don't carry cash on me generally? (as most people don't nowadays, hence technology)
Lady: Not my policy.
Anthony: Who's stupid ****en idea is that then?
Lady: Walks off.
Anthony: Does the same...

Go into Coles supermarket to get the dinner. Steam is fuming from my ears at this point, walk around and get things needed, wait in line, get smokes also as I'm going to need them... pay (using card because coles don't suck arse), put bub in car, get in car, drive home.

Unpack, have smoke, think to self, "what the **** sort of trip to the shops was that?"

 

[bennjamin]

lol....im almost the exact opposite when it comes to general social situations - i become 2 fronts , the mental and physical.
Inside my mind i can feel anger or many abrubt emotions and thoughts congealling inot a big mess but on the outside im calm as a cucumber...helpful and friendly to most if not all people.As good as that is - i know i need to vent my anger/frustration somehow. Just not as easily as u Anthony eheh.
Do you find aggression builds up and then finally comes out at the most stupid of times ?

 

[anthony]

Oh yer... I was fine beforehand, but it was that quick, that one silly thing happened, then bam, I needed to get rid of what I was feeling before it got let lose on too many unsuspecting people who had no idea why I would be tearing their heads of... (verbally generally nowadays).

It is really frustrating at times to then think about it, and realize I was being a wanker and shouldn't have acted like that. That bit often bites me on the bum...

 

[Bazza]

Mate that happens to me so much, I live in Frankston so instead of a 30 y/o bmw it’s a 20 y/o ford with no doors and some Idiot screaming at me if I can get on for them (score drugs). Even with the "Baby on board" sign they don’t care. Now we got the TV telling us to QUIT smoking. Bugger that.

 

[kimG]

Anthony, there's a song that comes to mind when I think of (or have) days like yours. I can't remember the name of it, but the line, "Mama said there'd be days like this, there'd be days like this, my momma says" immediately rings in my mind.

We've all had those days and have reacted in ways along the same lines. Once I went with the kids to Burger King to get dinner. I always order the same thing for me - Whopper meal with no onions or tomato but extra pickles. Ordered chix tender meals for kids and some other burger meal for Warren. You know how they have the LCD screens beside the microphone that we all scream in? Well, what showed up on the screen was everything I ordered, except there was nothing about the tomatoes, onions, or pickles (which, of course, was MY meal). I politely asked the guy at the other end if he got my order about the stuff and he assured me that, although it wasn't showing up, he got it. When I got to the window and was given my food, I made sure I checked my sandwich. And guess what? Yep...order was wrong. The girl who gave me the bags of food was now nowhere near the window so I had to knock on the window to get her attention. She came over, looked at me as I was trying to spit out what I was saying, and then left. I had to knock on the window again. This time I was pissed...I tried to explain it to her again but she just wanted to argue with me. My temper got the best of me and I snapped, so I threw the sandwich at her - it ended up hitting her on her shoulder, splattering mayo and ketchup all over her shirt - and demanded that she get me a new one that was right.

(Turns out, she was the manager on duty that night! However, I got a couple free dinners, compliments of Burger King, because I called and made a complaint at their corporate headquarters.)

I was still so pissed and couldn't think straight - my mind was on MY sandwich and why they messed up MY sandwich, LOL - I didn't check the rest of the order. When we got home, we had an extra order of fried, but what was supposed to be diet coke was just regular sugar-laden ones. It was all I could do not to get back in the car and drive back up there to give her another piece of my mind!

When I look back at it, it all seems silly. However, in that moment, my PTSD mind wasn't working quite right! LOL

Hope tomorrow is better for you...

Kim

 

[Nam]

We all have days like this. I can name so many!!! It's weird for me cause one side of my brain (the logical side), is saying "mayday! mayday! Stop what you are doing and walk away..." Why I still go about my actions as angrily as I was before if not fueled more because I know I"m wrong!! Situations like this also compounds, you know? It's not just one thing that sets us off, it's like several things, and then the explosion at the end.

I had a lady at the checkout at a department store give me a hard time about buying abreeva (expensive cold sore medication). Cold sores is a type of herpes found on soft tissues like the lips on my face. They like to come out when I'm stressed out. It's an understatement of the year to say that ptsd stresses me out. I had my baseball hat on trying to cover up three sores on my face. Well she proceded to tell me that having them on my face is better than having them down there.... And have I tried carmex? (cheap cold sore medication) Well, don't you think I would have tried the stuff??? After I left the check out, I was heading toward the exit door and I set off the alarms. Aparently the check out lady didn't desenitize my abreeva. So I take out my abreeva and give this guy my receipt. And he looks at the abreeva and the price on the receipt and asks me, "Have you tried carmex?" I about lost it. But instead, I fumed all the way home and blew up making supper at my family. It seems like they always take the brunt of my explosions... I'm just glad I didn't tear that poor old guy's head off....

 

[kimG]

Well she proceded to tell me that having them on my face is better than having them down there.... And have I tried carmex? (cheap cold sore medication) Well, don't you think I would have tried the stuff???

Nam,

You have so much more restraint that I do. Twenty years ago, I wouldn't have said anything, but nowadays...hey, I have no problem saying what's on my mind. Of course, it gets me in trouble sometimes, but....oh well. Life's too short...:tongue:

 

[Nam]

yes it is...too short. Life that is.

I think it's better to speak your mind...it definatly leaves no question where your stance is! It's just when we know we are saying the wrong thing or doing the wrong thing out of anger....I wish I had more finesse with words when I'm angry! Any suggestions?

 

[kimG]

Nam,

Sorry, but I don't have any suggestions. Finess isn't something I have. I just let the words flow. As I said, sometimes it gets me into trouble, but ... oh well!

Besides, sometimes people need to hear it like it is. Too often people "pussyfoot" around a subject and try to sugarcoat it and the point is lost. With words telling it like it is, there's no doubt about the point!

Kim

 

[anthony]

Besides, sometimes people need to hear it like it is. Too often people "pussyfoot" around a subject and try to sugarcoat it and the point is lost. With words telling it like it is, there's no doubt about the point!

Oh Kim... I do like you more and more... with words so near and dear to my heart and thinking style.

 

[kimG]

Thanks Anthony!

I just feel like I've wasted too much time trying to tell people what I "think" they want to hear and then getting nowhere with it.

If someone asks me a question and I think they won't like the answer, I ask them, "Do you want the truth or the sugar-coated answer?" And yes, when they say the truth, sometimes they are taken back by what I say. But...oh well....

As the kids at school would say, "Whatever!":thumbs-up