Poll Do You Find It Difficult To Talk About How You Feel?

[Deleted member 12723]

Yes I have a hard time putting my feelings into words. In my house it was not ok to have feelings. Children should be seen but not heard. That is the way it was. I had no one to talk to. many things do not occur to me either. I can communicate fairly well. I can write better than I can speak. I can express myself on paper better. I have done alot of journaling. It has helped me to learn how to think for myself. This is an interesting topic.

 

[cat]

My favorite is when dealing with an issue with EMDR, "where do you feel that in your body?". Ummmmm... Wait. I know this one. Maybe. Okay, fine, I got nothin'.

Oh I remember that one so clearly - what a daft question, at the time I didnt really know where my body was so how could I feel anything!

 

[cat]

Yes I have a hard time putting my feelings into words. In my house it was not ok to have feelings. Children should be seen but not heard. That is the way it was. I had no one to talk to. many things do not occur to me either.

I grew up in a similar family Gizmo & am interested in your last sentence, many things do not occur to me either, what sort of things? I find other people crying a puzzle & often have to think about why they are doing it, it makes me feel as if i must appear to be hard, i'm not just dont understand.

When ptsd kicked in it didnt occur to me that i should talk to someone about the way i was feeling, just thought I was losing it & tried to hide it.

Now I've had some therapy I can talk about my feelings a little easier, what i still cant do is say 'I need you/help' sometimes just make an appointment with my psych not really knowing why!

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Cat, alot of things do not occur to me. I had a misunderstanding with my daughter and it did not occur to me to talk to her about it.She brought it up and we talked about it and cleared it up and are close again. She wanted to have a relationship with me, I wanted a relationship with her but we were drifting apart.

I am so glad she brought it up. Things like that do not occur to me. I just do not know so many things. I have learned slowly over the years. I had alot to learn. I hope this answers your question.

 

[lighteningdarkness]

It's so difficult for me to talk about feelings. I guess underlying this is the shame, and that my feelings and what's going on for me aren't important - other people and their feelings are.

 

[Rumors]

My stock standard answer in therapy has always been I'm fine, but I know I not. I just don't know where to begin to say how I'm feeling.

I feel EXACTLY the same way down to the part where I am afraid I would cry if I did talk about it!

 

[Lumpy Space Princess]

I'm a general failure at expressing my feelings. I always have been. Since my trauma, feelings tend to present either as plain old rage, or as physical feelings. Any negative emotion feels like pain, nausea, or body anxiety. I'm just bad at words.

 

[soulvibe]

I put yes for another reason because I agree with all the yes answers. I'm afraid of other people's reactions, I don't understand my feelings, and I have a hard time articulating myself.

 

[KBE]

"Shut up, or I'll give you something to cry FOR!"

Ever hear that one? It's exactly what lurks in the back of my head any time the urge is there to cry or to talk about how I feel.

OMFG. It was "about" not "for" at my house, but I learned early on to bury all my feelings. Happy? Shouldn't be. Scared? Grow up. Sad? You have nothing to talk about - me, me, me.

 

[Tanishq]

Scared? Grow up. Sad? You have nothing to talk about

I know this all very well. it's best to get away from such people. I see no point to talk with them. It's not bad thing to express your own feelings. Everyone has different feelings. we can accept, understand and respect it. It's nice getting aware of this people.

I have been treated that way. Feeling bad, crying is bad thing. lol. I am man, sometimes I tend to cry, some people tell me I am girlish. Really? Is this true?

I don't hesitate to express my feelings. But when matters gets serious I crumble and put up a poker face. I know how to hide emotions on my face.

 

[Philippa]

It's so difficult for me to talk about feelings. I guess underlying this is the shame, and that my feelings and what's going on for me aren't important - other people and their feelings are.

Yes same...there has always been this message everyone gives me that anytime I try to place my needs or my feelings first I get slapped down and told I'm being selfish, and made to feel like I'm not as important as they are, when I know that isn't the truth. I'm JUST as important as they are...but I'm the only one who gets that.

I didn't even know I had feelings until I was 17, as I wasn't allowed to have them, and anytime I did try and express them, I'd have my reality negated and invalidated...but I'm expected to make sure I take care not to hurt anyone elses feelings.

My mother said my sadness was ugly, but I find sadness to be beautiful, and every emotion is valid and has something to teach me. It's their issue.

People are so self-important and egomaniacal....but they all think they are nice and kind and compassionate to other people.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I have been having a hard time talking about how I feel. I have the feelings but I do not know how to put them into words. This is a new thing that is happening to me lately. Lack of trust. Lack of how to say it. I have a hard time putting my feelings into words, mabe alot of my truama was preverbal. I just feel. How do you put that into words?

I think I need to journal some more. It helped me so much to put my emotions into words that could be understand. I will keep on working on it.