Hmm... the lack of desire for attachment says something doesn't it!
Abstract, thanks for your response! The whole issue of attachment has opened a whole new dimension for me - the concept somehow never existed for me, as I thought one had to remain as independent and unattached as possible in all human relationships. WTF? So, I need to figure out the whole attachment thing before I can try to go there.
I want closeness but am afraid of it and although I would appear to be anxious avoidant there is more going on underneath and not even underneath. I have zero of the anger or true impulse issues but have many of the others regardless.
Ditto. And, having looked at a lot of stuff on attachment now it is clear that the theory is a mess - writers contradict one another, can't agree on terminology or the classification. As a child I was classic avoidant, now I score equally on all 4 - which means I am equally secure and disorganised!? But at least there is a move away from Freudian underpinnings and the 'blank screen' to the recognition of attachment bonds and relationship, for which I am grateful.
But bringing this all the way around to the real question which is what do you need and what should you get from T
Ha! Getting INTO therapy seems more difficult than joining the space program!:wtf:
Your T cannot know everything about you straight off as you are way to complex for that. You also cannot know what your T thinks without asking them. These things alone cause havoc in our lives and working through them in T is very helpful.
Point taken. I know that the relationship is healing in the sense that it brings up issues we have with all other relationships. I can be socially very glib and ostensibly 'well socialised' - but only on the surface. In T I become a stuttering (when I don't talk non-stop) frozen idiot who can't make eye contact.
Believe me I sympathise and am also being hypocritical as I am running scared at the moment. But I am under no illusion and accept that I am in the grip of stuff that isn't helpful to me and I am trying to fight hard against it.
Aren't you in T as the moment?
For T to be helpful it needs to be an emotional experience not just an intellectual one and it has taken me the longest time to understand that.
Before the awful postural integration incident I spent about a year in therapy and was the most rational adult imaginable. It was a total waste of money and I ended it when I feared one of us would die of boredom. My problem is that I am on two very different levels emotionally and intellectually. It is integrating the two that is so difficult, and what makes the T process so messy.
