Poll Do You Have Secrets About Your Trauma That You've Not Divulged To Your Therapist?

[bluelilly82]

A very simple, yet long, question... You may wish to state your reasons why you still have secrets from them, or not... the choice is yours.

I am curious to poll this, as the people I have helped over the years all still had secrets from their therapists, and took me to usually really piss them off in order to get at those secrets and get them out. Seen as though 95% of therapists are too afraid to piss their clients off, I do wonder just how many hold secrets about their trauma from their therapist/s to date!

My problem is that some of the emotional and verbal abuse from my father was my fault, and I cant talk about that with my therapist, as I dont want her to leave me

 

[JustBe]

The way your father treated you is on him, not you. He could have chosen NOT to abuse you, no matter what you did or said. JMO.

 

[Harry M.]

I concur with Movin', Bluelilly. Been there, got that from my Dad. I understand your concern about your therapist leaving you, but both mine told me they would *always* accept me, no matter what I said. Perhaps say you read this somewhere and ask whether she feels the same way. Perhaps that would allow you to be comfortable enough to open up more so. It did me. Wishing you much peace. :)

 

[Chrissyy]

I said yes and that I've been in therapy for 1-2 years, I have been in therapy longer, but with a different people.

I have secrets from my current one, and my old ones because there's some things that I have no idea how I'm meant to explain. And even if I tried I don't think it'd come out right. I know that's not really a very good reason, but there it is.

 

[girlshawn]

My first therapist was to help me get through my mom's death. That woman took her time. Three years of in and out of the Intensive care part of the hospital, frequent visits to the ER and so most of my energy in therapy was dealing with that. My last therapist after a while I didn't feel like I could trust him. He exhibited behaviors like a drunk and that's such a huge trigger from me that eventually I quit going. He didn't get to hear a fraction of my stuff because I couldn't trust him. don't therapists realize most of us are survivalists and we can read them before we realize we can. trust is huge. so yeah..

 

[Ayasha]

I'm ashamed of what happened to me. I was a little kid yet I still blame myself. My counselor has known me for a year now and she's started to figure out how to ask the right questions but I'm not very forthcoming with the information unless I'm asked. I just...don't want to talk about it because then it's real.

 

[Gecko]

I've been in and out of therapy now give or take for 5 years. My first therapist was the best. Approachable, kind, attentive, insightful. The kind that knew when to ask, what to ask, when to listen and when to stop.


There are things that I didn't even get to talk to her about. And after five years, I've come to realize I will take those things with me to the grave probably. Simply for that fact that I am still protecting someone very dear to me.

 

[Orglethorp]

I've never directly told any therapist or doctor about my SI habits. Anyone with eyes who knows what I've been through can figure it out, and I've talked to a select few other people about it, but not the professionals. I have had a very generalized conversation about SI, without acknowledging that I do it, with one psychologist, and one of my former psychology professors (who I have shared my story with) did very clearly notice my scars on one particular occasion but tactfully never brought it up. The only ones visible at the time were well healed, so perhaps he thought that bringing it up wasn't worth it.

Now I know this poll is things about my trauma that I haven't divulged, I'd say this counts. He started it. I've been caught in this trap since I was 2 years old. (Yes, I do have very clear memories of self harming at 2.)

 

[rightkindofme]

It was awesome to meet a new therapist and say "Here is the book wherein I detailed all of my childhood traumas." It has radically changed the therapy process. For me to get through listing them all usually takes more than a year of therapy. It's... different now.

 

[Girl3]

Divulging some of my secrets would be just like experiencing those things again. They are too awful/shameful to face myself - let alone anyone else. My experience is that most people will use those secrets against you. I have told my psychiatrist about 95% of my real time-line of events, but there are a few things I don't think even he could handle.

 

[rightkindofme]

Divulging some of my secrets would be just like experiencing those things again. They are too awful/shameful to face myself - let alone anyone else. My experience is that most people will use those secrets against you.

*hug* Yeah. People suck so much. :(

 

[Hashi]

Not secrets, only things I haven't told her yet and which will take time. (I've been seeing her less than a year.)

I think for therapy to be effective, we have to find therapists who are trustworthy and we have to build up trust with them. I've had therapy in the past where I didn't feel it was a fully safe and confidential space, and in my experience that just doesn't work.

I don't want to talk about the things I have to, but I can't afford to keep secrets from my therapist.