This post reminds me of a topic, off topic of ptsd.
Over 20 years ago, after the birth of my last child, which I had been rear ended during my forth month of pregnancy, I was exhausted. I do not mean exhausted like we all get tired. I mean I was too tired to sit at the dinner table and eat. It was horrific. Having a 7th grader, and 18 month old, and a week old baby-I was barely surviving. The first primary care provider (PCP) I went to did some labs and said I had elevated lymphocytes and enlarged lymph nodes-for months or years. Further tests did not reveal any serious condition such as cancer. After doing some research, I asked him to test me for Epstein Barr-which was positive and highly elevated. But then I'm told that it really does not mean much.
Being to the point of not being able to drive, I find a doctor with evening hours so husband can take me. Eventually I am diagnosed with chronic fatigue syndrome and fibromyalgia. I learn of a support group. I send myself to a counselor because of my frustration and feeling like I am failing at life during the happiest time. Therapist suggests anti depressants. Sends me to psychiatrist and he agrees after 5 minutes. In the support group of about 40 people, not one person admits to any traumatic situations, ugly family stuff, etc, and the group think is attacking the doctors for sending them to counselors and shrinks. They were all very insulted. I also felt defensive. Cant they see I am physically sick-this is not psychological.
Group provided resources for which doctors where good and bad, who was understanding, etc. One particular doctor. was top of the good list. When I asked what he did for patients, all they could really say is that he listened with empathy. The same thing counselors do. This doctor became so popular that people drove hundreds of miles to see him, and he had "special" tests, and quit taking all insurances.
Then some group member found this liquid called KM. Take a spoon full a couple times a day and some saw results. I went to CFIDS groups once a month for years, during which time I went to counseling and was open to the fact that during the calmest and happiest time in ones life, when your body can finally relax after a lifetime of trauma, the body can collapse.
During these years I had repeated sinus infections, was diagnosed with intestinal yeast, had candida couple of times, IBS, migranes, etc. Was diagnosed with herniated disc and stenosis and more. Yes I had plenty wrong, some from physical trauma, some from emotional.
One very holistic therapist said "I understand that you are sick, I just wonder what prevents you from recovering". Wow, that was something to think about. Im not a hypochondriac and at no time was that suggested. Tests revealed abnormalities. It was many years before I began finding material such as "the body bears the burden" and others that indicate that emotional trauma can be triggered by an event or accident. This was the beginning of a more clear understanding.
My point is-we wanted the doctors. to find the root of the illness and cure it. When they failed, we blamed them. They were sending clients to shrinks all along, resentful clients. I continue to go to the same doctor after 22 years. We don't talk a lot about my trauma or anything, but we are on the same page that it exists. He trusts my reports of pain level, ability, etc. He has been there through good and bad health. He knows that if anything, I minimize both physical and emotional pain.
Initially I was not ready to hear what drs were saying-they must be the nutty one wanting to medicate me with anti depressants. We have to be ready to go there, to trust, and only we can decide when. Being upset with the professional is preferable to being upset with self. Its also ok to agree to disagree. We are best one to measure are abilities, and while a little nudge might not hurt, being pushed only causes defensiveness.
