Confessing Ptsd: "their" Reaction

[Deleted member 20072]

I understand totally. I am enrolled in college for sept and scared to tell any one there but at the same time I want them to know so they will understand if I'm late, need to leave ect... I don't want to pull out the "PTSD card" when I'm starting to fall behind but I don't want to be upfront about it either.

 

[aka]

Which is exactly how I have felt plenty of times, except I behave pretty normal at a lot of times, too. I've become good at hiding the disorder and you guys have probably learned how to do that, too.

I totally understand what you are saying this was the main reason I never told anyone at school about having PTSD. I was afraid they would not believe me since I do a very good job of hiding it. That and I was determined to do everything on my own without anybodies help. In hindsight perhaps this was not the best approach because I only had enough energy to devote to school work and wasn't able to make friends, connections, or have any fun while there.

I have been considering whether to tell people when I get a job that I have PTSD. I have never had a full time job so I am not sure how I will handle it. I had one person who interviewed me ask it I would need any accommodations. I was too scared to say yes for I don't really know if I would need any until I am working. Its not like I can predict when and where my symptoms will flare up. But to me by saying no I was not being honest which is something I rarely do.

 

[Deleted member 20072]

I get it. We need to learn to ask for help tho. Just like a person with, let's say no arms needs accommodations and In my opinion a disability is a disability physical or mental.

I think depression, guilt and self doubt comes with this in a package so asking for help isn't like us who have it.

After 2 years of knowing this is what I had after I left the military, I just now today saw my doc and said listen these are my symptoms and I think this is what it is. Can you help? Turns out yep, that's the diagnosis. It took courage to come up front and ask but i can't change what I don't ask for help with.

 

[KP the nut]

I have told hundreds of people about having PTSD. It gets easier and easier.

I understand that not everyone works like me.

I also tell people and yes it does get easier. Maybe different traumas, affect how you feel about telling people. Mine appeared after a car crash, which is what I tell people. However, I rarely talk about childhood issues.

 

[rightkindofme]

Absolutely! And, side note, I'm surprised I didn't get a hostile moderator note given how many mistakes I made. Whoops. I usually type on the ipad and it is hard to use properly.

I love this quote!! Can I use it?

As far as telling people some things and not others, I certainly cherry pick. In a very sick and twisted way I feel like I am "lucky" in that if I want to tell someone I have PTSD I have literally dozens of traumas to offer up as the "primary" cause so I don't have to volunteer more than I want to.

I tell people largely because I find that if I set people up to expect behavior from me that I can deliver on they are less likely to get mad and act like they hate me. If I warn people, "I get weird sometimes" then they take it in stride because I warned them. When I don't warn people they think I am just trying to excuse my behavior. Nope, no excuses here. Explanations--yes.

I think it is a control thing. :D The more control I have over a situation the better I feel. If I direct the flow of information I feel in control. I'm sure this is mostly in my head and it isn't working how I think it works. But it lets me leave my house. :)

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Embrace PTSD? Naah. This one guy once told me to simply shut up about it because it was all I talked about. It hurt, but he was right. I never talk about it anymore. I deal with it here on the forum, but that's it. And, it feels great because my life no longer revolves around PTSD. Yes, I am still healing but I don't feel the need to be a walking talking PTSD poster. I want to be seen as "SOL" not as that chick who has PTSD.

 

[DharmaGirl]

I follow the radical acceptance view of accepting yourself and all your flaws and then moving on from there. I will try to educate more people, as long as I feel safe. I think its important that people come to realize that it is not like the movies, but I don't want to share my trauma. People will always judge, and I hope that they will judge with more compassion if they know what PTSD really is.

 

[Upside Down Eagle]

I was too scared to say yes for I don't really know if I would need any until I am working.

I'm not sure if I would have the courage to tell people at my job, either. I'd be afraid of stigmatization, I think. I've had a job with a rather cool manager, I did not tell him back then, but at time I wasn't even aware of the fact that my symptoms were PTSD related. I suposse it really depends on the nature of your superiors. If you're at the job and you feel certain things could be changed to help you out, maybe you could still discuss the opportunities.

I get it. We need to learn to ask for help tho.

Exactly. I mailed my professor the other day explaining why I wasn't at his class and why I haven't been attending college in the last month. He (and another teacher of an other course I'm following) was totally understanding and emphasized "if you need help with anything else just let me know!". They are being incredibly understanding and helpful, and instead of being delighted in them my reaction is to feel guilty because of the special treatment. Unconsciously (or not so unconsciously) my brain believes that I should be told to act normal and go to class and that's it xD

But I can really go for what SOL is saying, too. We should "come out" about the PTSD thing but not "become it". (I think there's a difference with letting something take control and accepting it...). I think sometimes I need to also tell myself to get a grip already and get out of bed and go the hell to school (haha). Take care of myself that way instead of letting the fear control me. I jump out of a plane occasionally but don't have the courage to go to college. It's ridiculous! Going to college would probably be easier when people know about the condition and they can grant me some extra space because of it.

When I don't warn people they think I am just trying to excuse my behavior.

That's exactly how I feel most of the time. I act weird and then when the damage is done I put on my "I'm sorry" face and tell them well I flip sometimes because of the PTSD. That's when I feel like I'm acting like a victim. So I really like your approach! It's immediate and "in-your-face" in a positive way. After three years of study, I've finally contacted the study advisor about the problem, we're going to discuss what possibilities I have for doing research and completing my study in a constructive way. Progress! In some ways, this forum is way better than therapy...

 

[Deleted member 20072]

We should "come out" about the PTSD thing but not "become it".Funny you say this cause last night I "came out" to my neighbour and she was really understanding. Her dog is a trigger so she was going thru all these times where he might have triggered me and saying sorry for it. I felt really bad cause she was so apologetic but afterwards I felt really good to tell someone other than a doctor what I'm going thru. I thought long an hard about who I chose. It was liberating in a way. Not becoming it is so important. We should define it not the other way around. Easier said than done I know! I go thru stages where it consumes me and it seems like everything is set up against me and its so hard to get out of the rut.