Eliminating Exposure To Ptsd For Others' Sake?

[Tinyflame]

Oops, it disappeared.

I think I need a plan/ steps.

The only plan I've had, really, is to push myself.

 

[Tinyflame]

I think somewhere it said we should start with our strengths.

I know I try to be honest, I don't expect anyone else to be responsible for it and it comes from within me (no matter what is going on around me), I know what makes me feel horrid, and I know it's up to me to not run away. I know I have to break it down in to small pieces (especially when it's overwhelming). I know I'm a bundle of nerves.

 

[Powder]

Your values include honesty, responsibility, self-care, and the ability to analyze things (breaking large ideas down into manageable ones). Is that right? :)

I also share these values and think that you are correct. They seem like assets to me as well. Good strengths to focus on and have.
This is such a powerful step!!!

If you feed the strengths rather than the self-criticisms, you will find that one day it will be hard to self-criticize any more.

Can you give me an example of a time when you were strong and you feel some pride in that?

Love and Hugs, Muse

 

[Powder]

PS. I'm going to follow your lead and participate; is that okay? I need this, too. But this is your thread, and I'm here for you.

I value standing up to my bullies when it really counts. One example of this was when I confronted my boss after everyone had ran away from the department. I am proud of the fact that I acted more brave than I felt and got promoted after that. :)

This is direct conflict with how terrified I feel when triggered and dissociated (and when I have failed to stand up to bullies in the past). Therefore, I know that I can be both weak and strong, and I'm okay with that cause I'm human and learning to trust myself more. I trust that when I need to be, I will be strong and stand up to my Goliath.

Big Hugs, Junebug, XOXO Muse:hug:

 

[Tinyflame]

Dear Muse, Yay! for your courage and assertiveness, and for being promoted for it!! :tup: :) Hooray!

Oh yes, please do continue to write your own! (I enjoy that! :) :tup: )

Well, I'm not quite aware of self-care, but I manage to care better for others. I think I used to be more analytical, now because I realize how little I know, and probably being tired, I try to 'get through' more than plan. Not ideal, but someone said somewhere half of the battle is to just show up. Probably for me more than half. :rolleyes:

I can't recall when I was last strong, or being proud of it. But I do recall when I last felt best, and I would say with that I felt guardedly-hopeful, more at peace, more energy, and actually happy.

I guess I was somewhat 'strong' by admitting my weakness, since I feared saying (re:SI) the consequences of saying could have been horrendous, I expected them to be. Also to admit very scary stuff, to be honest about the stuff I am/ was ashamed of.

I guess I was strong persevering despite threats and fears. Also despite being more tempted to give up or avoid than to try.

I guess I've been 'strong' ('ish') to believe despite when other people tell me I'm wrong, or to trust when I'm not used to it.

When my dad died I only cried twice,once was months after, and one of my sisters said, "What's a matter with you, you were doing so well and now you're falling apart". But it was not normal to not cry, it was normal to cry. Especially at that age. So that kind of 'weakness', or the like, is what I would consider 'stronger' now. To do the things, or 'try' or 'risks' I normally wouldn't have.

And hopefully not to become grumpy or bitter or such! :eek: :p

Love to you Muse, xoxox. :hug:

 

[Tinyflame]

I think self-compassion is difficult because I cannot seperate what is part of the ptsd, from what is my lack of strength or weakness.

 

[Powder]

That makes sense to me. It all comes from the same events. Certain thinking that is negative follows naturally from negative life experience. We have the power to create positive life experience now. This is how we push back, and change. Change is always happening. We can't control all of it, but most of it, we can steer into a direction.

I was up crying at night due to (I think) wisdom teeth impaction. Ouch! Gotta run to the dental office. I'm not a happy camper lately with the pain getting worse and worse and avoiding it. After last night, I have to deal with it. It was bad!!

XOXO Love Muse

 

[Tinyflame]

Yes Muse, sort of like (also) getting through the time that you did. But then it turned around. :tup: :hug:

I do recall that it is up to me to look at- or choose to look at- these happenings and such as 'positives', not negatives. For example, to see 'saying something' as (even) a (great?) positive, vs being ashamed that I have said something.

I have been really blessed with all the help. I think tangible and intangible help has all been critical. I don't worry as much about being strong now, as at peace.

Oh poor Muse! I hope you get relief soon! We should not wait on these things, I don't know why we do.

BIGGEST of Hugs and Thank you (((((((((((Muse, xoxoxoxox))))))))))))))).

 

[Tinyflame]

I've always heard a 'thing', that one should pay attention when they hear something 3 or more times, well have had that with 'Thanksgiving' (though I thought of that first), and 'Christmas' (which I didn't think of at all)- 5 times. Right down to finding a Christmas card walking today- (?) Yikes, forgot to read the 'wish' inside.

Maybe those are 'positive' thoughts/ things? I generally speaking can't 'imagine' so far to the future.

 

[Tinyflame]

And that C.S. Lewis said something else too, that (ALL) abusive language (to God, or others) may or may not be true, but it'sALWAYS designed to offend (hurt) the most. That helps to know/ remember.

I think, just occurred to me, much 'stuff', even trying to 'deal' with it and inefectually manage it, is demoralizing. But then I am one to notice what I do not accomplish, before anything I have. Or more so than personally even 'accomplishing', rather getting a little better. (And triggers, they can leave us profoundly affected, not just 'triggered', more than I think of the word (semantically) inferring.)

Also, a biggie, I have (tried to) 'own' my own responsibility for this. But I guess, the fact is when I've had 'moments' or times of progress- real breakthroughs (I remember feeling happy/ astonished?!/ relieved), I've had to speak up. I mean I actually did. Granted the response is what helps or hinders (a risk), but if I never spoke up that would equal 'zero' (the same as always/ before), there would have been (guaranteed) 'nothing' in response to 'nothing'.

 

[Whitneys story]

I think self-compassion is difficult because I cannot seperate what is part of the ptsd, from what is my lack of strength or weakness.

:singing: :rolleyes: :hug: Oh Junebug, I am so happy to hear this. You are leaping forward. Your comment is so true for many! (((((((((( Junebug Muse )))))))))).

When our formative years are negative behavior from our surroundings and past programing we lack self esteem.

Building self esteem requires positive experience to replace past. JMHO you have posted many times of your compassion for humanity. You are a good person, the next steps are to practice positive action and thought to remind yourself. You are making wonderful progress.

Sending cases of cookies just for you! You are doing the work and so deserve to feel proud of your self! September is looking lovely. :wideeyed: Hugs, Whitney

 

[Tinyflame]

Aw Dear Whitney, as per always you are an Internet-Angel :inlove: :) . I am glad this is progress .. ? :confused: Hee. I believe you then. Thank you. :hug:

Yes, funny enough, September is a beautiful month. I can only recall one detail, but I think the trigger goes back to happenings september 2006. I kind of blocked all of it out though. But that's ok.

Yes and I guess there is compassion as regards the past, but perhaps self-compassion in the present is critical?

Big news as such as per my sis, ex-fiance contacted her (they had split up on good terms), said not a day within the last 25 years has he not thought of her, I do believe that as he was crazy about her. Much like her, both generous, kind, both single in so far as her current bf basically lives independently and said he lied- no desire to get married. Irregardless they're going for coffee sunday. I knew him, he knew my mom and dad. Said he couldn't believe what (she) had gone through with their deaths/ other stuff, etc, it gave me a chance to talk to her about 'trauma', years of stuffing it, grief etc (hers/ mine). Seemed to help her a lot! :tup:

Sounds silly, but because I don't feel that great, and we don't have any family left (except for 2 estranged sisters), I would feel better if she gets 'settled', with someone, that like Muse said can 'watch her back'. Prior to this last relationship, she was very loving, and so was this ex.

Though I do feel happy/ tired/ grateful, strangely dis-interested in slamming myself, lol. :) I saw today it said "5th anniversary here"- OMG!!!!!! :eek: :laugh:

Dear Whitney!!!!!!!!!! And xoxoxox for the cookies, keep 'em coming! :roflmao: :sick: Hee.

Forever grateful (((((((((((((( :angelic: Whitney :angelic:)))))))))))))))) :inlove: :hug: :joyful: