Thoughts About Being Bisexual.

[presentjoy]

I'm queer

Me too. I am not bi because I don't understand sexuality or gender as a binary (and I'm queer around both).. although I really don't like the stigma around the bi label. So that's not so much a problem with anyone else calling themselves bisexual. I just understand why rightkindofme clarified their use of the word queer.

I realised I was attracted to women and came out (multiple times in different ways) before I had any official relationship with a woman. I just knew. I always felt different. Those differences were a result of a lot of things, including sexuality. It also includes gender.

There has been insecurity in my marriage because of this, but it isn't a pressing problem, in the sense that he's not constantly worried I will cheat on him. I think my non-cis gender is a bit more unchecked and possibly a subtle source of misunderstanding, and what feels like I need to explore more.

Ultimately, it completely is more like: if I was single, and dating, I would not limit myself and could probably just as likely fall in love with a trans man or woman, a lesbian, queer woman, queer man, or a heterosexual man or.... My attraction to humans isn't gender- or parts-specific, I guess.

But that's a completely different thing than my cheating on my husband. I will not do that. We look at the bright side. My husband and I can appreciate some of the same beautiful people :D

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

@rightkindofme and @presentjoy, I can't say how comfortable I am with the term queer.

Queer : Deviating from the expected or normal; strange: a queer situation. 2. Odd or unconventional, as in behavior; eccentric.

My feeling though and doesn't mean others have to share it. I just see it as not really helping minimize stereotypes.

 

[Saule]

Yes the term queer has been reclaimed by many in the LGBTIQ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, intersex, queer) community. I hadn't really come across the term queer until I went to university/college and there was a 'queer' department. I guess it's a word that also hasn't resonated with me personally either, Ayesha, perhaps because of the previous negative connotations you mention. I identify as lesbian, and would not describe myself as queer. I have had/have friends who do though, and this is their preferred 'label' so to speak to describe their sexual orientation/gender identity. It's different for everyone.

I've also heard a lot about this stigma of being bisexual, but I've never come across this in my own interactions with people, straight or gay. And I also used to identify as bisexual. Being bisexual was actually considered pretty 'cool' and 'edgy' when I was in high school. Maybe I've been lucky? I don't know...

 

[reallydown]

The more I think about this, the more I feel like labels just mess things up (though I understand that some people prefer to identify as x, y or z)...The way I think of myself is as a human being who is able to love/be attracted to other human beings regardless of sex. gender etc. Simple as that. Of course, sadly, in society, it's never that simple...People get beaten up, killed, raped etc. for loving the "wrong" person...Sigh. Anyway, just wanted to say...if you feel like it or need to or are comfortable etc. feel free to PM.

 

[rightkindofme]

I have had romantic and sexual relationships with many people who identify as neither female nor male. They pick third sex. At the request of my first pre-op m-t-f lover I stopped saying bisexual. She felt that if I described myself that way I wasn't including her. I still love her. She is post-op and feels slightly less intensely about the insult but I cant go back.

And it helps that a lot of my sexual identity is tied up in bdsm, and the Leather Community often chooses the word queer to describe itself.:)

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

I found some support groups in my area. :) They both only met once a month but I will try to get the courage to give them a call on Monday.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Even though I am in a heterosexual faithful marriage, I can't go at this almost alone. Maybe that doesn't make sense but it does to me.

 

[rightkindofme]

I am in a monogamous heterosexual marriage. I didn't stop being queer. :)

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

I am having a hard time telling my husband I would like to join a LGBT support group.

 

[rightkindofme]

I'm sorry you are struggling.

 

[ashdawn8287]

Ayesha I ran into this post before I am about to post my own thread but before I do I would like to share some information I have studying in regards to human sexuality.

Basically, human sexuality runs on a continuum. With one side being straight the other side being gay. Of course, bisexuality is in the middle of this continuum. They are finding out that in regards to human sexuality that bisexuality is the normal medium and a lot of people associate with that with the psychology studies they have done.

For instances, they did this study on how men can actually see that they are aroused and women can't because we can't see it, so sometimes we are turned on and don't even know it. They found that both genders are more turned on when shown porn videos of women in a romantic way. Women would rate that they were not turned on when biological the technology showed that they indeed were turned on. I sold my textbook on this class so I don't exactly remember who did the study but they were Doctors of the psychology of human sexuality.

Some women turn me on too! I would never act on it. I don't consider myself bisexual but I am not completely straight I am a little underneath the straight continuum if that makes sense. I have kissed a couple of girls before my fiancée and when I was single but again it's normal

That's cool your consider yourself bisexual and they really studying that in human sexuality.

:)

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Interesting study Ashdawn. I have heard of some of them.

That's cool your consider yourself bisexual

Why would it be cool? I am not bisexual becasue it is cool to be bisexual, I am what I am.