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- #13
EvenStrongerNow
Diamond Member
Well, my old T never mentioned C-PTSD, only PTSD, so I am unsure. I will ask her.
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Appointment With Psychiatrist Monday
- Post starter EvenStrongerNow
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Does it happen in situations where you are not triggered? If not then a lot of it can be about re living rather than true personality splits if that makes sense. We can go back to that age we were in that trauma. Its also worthwhile deciding if you are copying others voices and expressions or if you are using a different set of your own that feels like they are yours. Like going into a reliable fixed different gear rather than loosing who you are and copying others.
A lot of identity disturbance falls under depersonalisation. General identity issues can play a role too for some people. We all have different us's and there is a whole spectrum of how sectioned off those normal us's can be. For example those with borderline personality disorder have great difficulty managing identity. What I would maybe do is think of a sentence or two that refers to the issue.
The amnesia issues you mention are normally related to depersonalisation/dissociative trance. You might also mention that when overwhelmed you find it difficult not to dissociate and difficult to stay grounded in who you are as a person and how old you are.
I would use your own words. Think of an average day and what comes up in it dissociation wise. Do you loose track of conversations, do you zone out totally, do you loose feeling in your body, do you forget where you are and what you are doing, do you go into feeling a different age with set characteristics when you are in certain situations, does the world around you or sound become distorted in any way, do you loose days or longer, do you find you have done things that are out of character such as smoking and you don't remember doing them?
I think its important to include dissociation in your list.
A lot of identity disturbance falls under depersonalisation. General identity issues can play a role too for some people. We all have different us's and there is a whole spectrum of how sectioned off those normal us's can be. For example those with borderline personality disorder have great difficulty managing identity. What I would maybe do is think of a sentence or two that refers to the issue.
The amnesia issues you mention are normally related to depersonalisation/dissociative trance. You might also mention that when overwhelmed you find it difficult not to dissociate and difficult to stay grounded in who you are as a person and how old you are.
I would use your own words. Think of an average day and what comes up in it dissociation wise. Do you loose track of conversations, do you zone out totally, do you loose feeling in your body, do you forget where you are and what you are doing, do you go into feeling a different age with set characteristics when you are in certain situations, does the world around you or sound become distorted in any way, do you loose days or longer, do you find you have done things that are out of character such as smoking and you don't remember doing them?
I think its important to include dissociation in your list.
- Post starter
- #15
EvenStrongerNow
Diamond Member
I sent her a text message. I read about C-PTSD. I can relate somewhat, but I didn't ever experience this kind of identity disturbance, etc until after my last traumatic experience.
In that timeframe, from 2008-2011, I experienced:
1. An emergency surgery where I almost died from a cyst rupturing on my ovary. I was hemorrhaging internally. I experienced a morphine blackout so I didn't know that I even had surgery or anything until I woke up not knowing where I was or what had happened to me. I was screaming because the nurse's told me they took my ovary only to find out the surgeon saved my ovary but the nurses didn't know about it.
2. I moved a total of 21 times because of my ex, was homeless twice, etc.
3. I was put into a witness protection program with my ex for reasons I will not get into, but I was in a constant state of fear and stress, thinking that at any minute, we could be found and killed.
4. My mom breaking down mentally and being hospitalized (before witness protection) after a 7-11 clerk called to tell me she was spinning around in circles crying with her hand flipping around in front of her face.
5. My step father being hospitalized after drinking lots of rubbing alcohol; he was in a vegetative state for a few days and was grabbing onto me talking to me as if he were a little boy (before witness protection)
6. My ex was in the hospital seeking drugs
They were all in the EXACT same hospital on the same day. The doctor stopped me as I was rushing around in the hallways to ask me if I was okay.
7. I was a part of the evacuation that took place in Key West, FL in 2008 for the hurricanes.
8. In 2010, after an attack where I went numb on the left side of my body, they found lesions on my brain and said they worried it was early Multiple Sclerosis. I remember that moment clearly. I felt myself drop into my chest and down a long, dark tunnel. It was the scariest feeling I have ever felt in my life. Then, I had my first colitis like attack and was hospitalized 3 times that year. A lot of tests, talks of scary diseases, googling, etc.
There is a LOT more that happened. I can only tell this much without freaking out completely. And these are not really chronologically ordered. I feel so fragmented. There was a lot of trauma in a 3 year period. A lot.
Wow. Okay, now that I'm typing this, I realize. I need to give myself a lot more credit. Holy Jesus!
In that timeframe, from 2008-2011, I experienced:
1. An emergency surgery where I almost died from a cyst rupturing on my ovary. I was hemorrhaging internally. I experienced a morphine blackout so I didn't know that I even had surgery or anything until I woke up not knowing where I was or what had happened to me. I was screaming because the nurse's told me they took my ovary only to find out the surgeon saved my ovary but the nurses didn't know about it.
2. I moved a total of 21 times because of my ex, was homeless twice, etc.
3. I was put into a witness protection program with my ex for reasons I will not get into, but I was in a constant state of fear and stress, thinking that at any minute, we could be found and killed.
4. My mom breaking down mentally and being hospitalized (before witness protection) after a 7-11 clerk called to tell me she was spinning around in circles crying with her hand flipping around in front of her face.
5. My step father being hospitalized after drinking lots of rubbing alcohol; he was in a vegetative state for a few days and was grabbing onto me talking to me as if he were a little boy (before witness protection)
6. My ex was in the hospital seeking drugs
They were all in the EXACT same hospital on the same day. The doctor stopped me as I was rushing around in the hallways to ask me if I was okay.
7. I was a part of the evacuation that took place in Key West, FL in 2008 for the hurricanes.
8. In 2010, after an attack where I went numb on the left side of my body, they found lesions on my brain and said they worried it was early Multiple Sclerosis. I remember that moment clearly. I felt myself drop into my chest and down a long, dark tunnel. It was the scariest feeling I have ever felt in my life. Then, I had my first colitis like attack and was hospitalized 3 times that year. A lot of tests, talks of scary diseases, googling, etc.
There is a LOT more that happened. I can only tell this much without freaking out completely. And these are not really chronologically ordered. I feel so fragmented. There was a lot of trauma in a 3 year period. A lot.
Wow. Okay, now that I'm typing this, I realize. I need to give myself a lot more credit. Holy Jesus!
- Post starter
- #16
EvenStrongerNow
Diamond Member
@Abstract , what you said makes sense to me. It does seem related to the trauma when I'm reminded or reexperiencing.
I now realize that when I was going through all of that, I was numb, I was on auto pilot. People were amazed by my calmness and my patience. When they said that to me, I didn't know who they were talking about because before that experience, I was very energetic and never patient lol but that's normal.
I have no idea how I was so calm and patient throughout all of that. Wow. I think it was really important that I posted a list of the trauma, like a listing rather than with all of the details....not posting about the emotions that came with all of that.
I don't know how I survived all of that.
I now realize that when I was going through all of that, I was numb, I was on auto pilot. People were amazed by my calmness and my patience. When they said that to me, I didn't know who they were talking about because before that experience, I was very energetic and never patient lol but that's normal.
I have no idea how I was so calm and patient throughout all of that. Wow. I think it was really important that I posted a list of the trauma, like a listing rather than with all of the details....not posting about the emotions that came with all of that.
I don't know how I survived all of that.
D
Deleted member 1860
I thought you previously posted that you haven't been diagnosed? If you haven't, don't walk in and say "I have PTSD" as you still won't get a diagnosis. Many doctors will simply go by previous diagnosis' without confirming for themselves.
If I'm wrong, I'm sorry, as I am confusing you with someone else.
If I'm wrong, I'm sorry, as I am confusing you with someone else.
- Post starter
- #18
EvenStrongerNow
Diamond Member
I posted that I was diagnosed by a Psychologist, but I thought only Psychiatrists could diagnose. I worried about the validity so...
I called the counseling center where my old T is yesterday. The PsyD lady there told me that an intern (my T was up until last year when she became licensed) would not be allowed to mention PTSD at all unless the supervisor (who is qualified to make the diagnosis) tells them they can. She said that the qualified professional who receives the reports of my case over time can make the diagnosis and did in my case. The supervising physician says that I meet the criteria.
I spoke with my new T (PsyD) and the Psychiatrist I am seeing on Monday and they both agreed with that lady's words.
I called the counseling center where my old T is yesterday. The PsyD lady there told me that an intern (my T was up until last year when she became licensed) would not be allowed to mention PTSD at all unless the supervisor (who is qualified to make the diagnosis) tells them they can. She said that the qualified professional who receives the reports of my case over time can make the diagnosis and did in my case. The supervising physician says that I meet the criteria.
I spoke with my new T (PsyD) and the Psychiatrist I am seeing on Monday and they both agreed with that lady's words.
- Post starter
- #19
EvenStrongerNow
Diamond Member
OK. It seems I went on a bit of a whirlwind in this thread. I just grounded myself with taking a hot bath, eating something salty and then sweet.
I was big picturing again......coming back to One Step At A Time...
I went ahead and emailed the doctor the trauma list (also adding my childhood background) and the distressing symptoms list and explained to him my concerns about reading them out loud at my appointment.
I will see him on Monday.
I was big picturing again......coming back to One Step At A Time...
I went ahead and emailed the doctor the trauma list (also adding my childhood background) and the distressing symptoms list and explained to him my concerns about reading them out loud at my appointment.
I will see him on Monday.
Starlightdreamer
New Here
I don't have any advice but I wanted to thank you. First, thank you for sharing-you are an amazing survivor. Second, thank you for this thread, I've learned a lot that's been really helpful. I hope your appt Monday goes well.
- Post starter
- #22
EvenStrongerNow
Diamond Member
Thanks ladies :D
Lady of Longbourn
VIP Member
No, a psychologist can. But I have also always felt that 2nd options are best. The diagnoses I wouldn't totally trust is a GP or a counselor.
Ha! This reminds me of my PTSD symptom explosion in 2012: The trauma counselor thought I was in love with her - and when I said I felt I was losing my mind, she responded with: 'Being in love makes us feel crazy and do crazy things' :wtf::wideeyed::banghead:. I then went to my GP, who sent me for blood tests, and phoned me with the 'good' news that there was 'nothing wrong' :wtf::wideeyed::banghead:.
Sorry, StrongerNow, just had to say this. Back to you :)
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