Sick On An Anniversary

[NicG]

It's a trauma anniversary for me, and I'm sick. Ugh. It means I can't see anyone, I feel too gross to talk to anyone about it.

I've been thinking about the assholes of my past a lot this week, and it's only just clicked that it's linked to everyone talking about Halloween all week. Somehow something awful happens every darn year at this time!

Am I potentially the cause of my own sickness? Like, could my emotional state in the face of an anniversary be wearing down my immune system more that usual? It's a MILLION degrees in my part of the country and I don't usually get sick in Summer. How do I survive this weekend by myself?

 

[Deleted member 20280]

As today is a big anniversary for myself. I offer nothing more than a :hug: @NicG

 

[NicG]

:hug:s are always appreciated! Same to you, @Santa_Laurie

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

Yes, emotions can wear down your immune system. No, your illness is not your fault.

Being sick is rough. Dealing with an anniversary is difficult to say the least. I am so sorry you have to deal with both at the same time. I hope you can hunker down with something comforting and relax for the day. And if you feel you need company, there's always here, right? It's not the same as in-person contact, but it might help so keep posting if it helps.

 

[Anarchy]

Am I potentially the cause of my own sickness?

Strictly speaking, no, that was the role of the trauma(s) which you experienced.

Like, could my emotional state in the face of an anniversary be wearing down my immune system more that usual?

In this more limited sense, yes, the way that we have learned to interpret the world around us and the interpretations which we make of the world, people, their actions, the news etc, do have a profound effect on our bodies.

I'll use the example of a scary film or scary story, everyone knows it is imaginary, but it can still get almost everyone's adrenaline up and their hearts racing - that's the mind's interpretation of light on a screen or words on paper having a very real effect on the stress hormones in our bodies.

In PTSD, those effects are not volountary
PTSD, especially from complex long term traumas, can come with a whole range of bodily (somatic) effects, pains, sickness, stomach and bowel complaints. The high levels of stress hormones also surpress our imune systems, and cause other damage, as those hormones evolved as a means of getting us away from imminent danger at any cost - but, when they are circulating for long periods of time in PTSD and in depression, that physical cost can be high.

Pete walker's cptsd site has some good self soothing techniques and techniques for recognizing and handling flashbacks, even when the content of the flashback is purely emotional or purely a body memory.

I've also found the full audiobook of "the mindful way through depression" to be very helpful, it is up on youtube. don't let the depression part of the title put you off, the techniques are very relevant to PTSD, and are very quickly effective (within an hour or two for the first exercises)

Hope some of this is of use to you.
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@JEKBreatheandBelieve 's advice is spot on, safe and trusted relationships with others who understand what we are experiencing, are excellent for relaxing us and helping to heal the damage and re -learn (or learn for the first time) the skills and feelings which our trauma ond response to it have taken from us. here is a place where we can do that.