Why Can't Some Of Us Talk On The Forum?

[Notsowild]

I'm going to take a break from this forum. It's just been too much. I haven't slept in 5 days and I cry at the drop of a hat ( stuff in the real world). Thanks for all your constructive criticisms Really. Lots to talk about with my T tomorrow. Thanks everyone.

 

[Rumors]

@Notsowild

My son really wanted to come on here and tell you all off. @anthony ...is that allowed? I am not this monster you are making me out to be.

I'm sorry, who is making you out to be a monster? My message is that your thinking style was/is unhealthy as it pertains to the topic of this thread. It is apparent to me that you are only willing to find negatives from my post. Having your son come on to tell me off on your behalf reiterates to me the unhealthy thinking in which you find yourself. I wish you the best in all things. I realize that sometimes we aren't ready to hear the things we may need to in order to take the next step forward. I certainly hope you find the answers and validation you are looking for... ;)

 

[Friday]

Sleep helps. Hugs if you love them, something else awesome of your choosing if you don't. Hope to see you back soon. Strength.

 

[Rumors]

I'm going to take a break from this forum. It's just been too much. I haven't slept in 5 days and I cry at the drop of a hat ( stuff in the real world). Thanks for all your constructive criticisms Really. Lots to talk about with my T tomorrow. Thanks everyone.

If you haven't slept in 5 days, I can completely understand why everything feels raw. I have been there and it is tough. I hope you can sleep and come back to the thread and read through everything again when you have rested and have a clearer mind. I think you will find that no one here thinks you are a monster or bad or anything except a really cool person who is really struggling. I wish I had some fairy dust that could make it better, but only you can do that. I hope you take all of the posts from the thread to your therapist and talk about it. Hang in there... I hope you rest soon.

 

[Rumors]

@Notsowild I wanted to copy and paste this because I think it is at the crux of your dilemma.

I guess I wanted this forum to understand and show some compassion since we are all fighting the same battle. I wanted to fit in somewhere.

To me, this statement says so much about where you are right now. I am not going to dissect this, but I certainly hope you do... You are an amazingly wonderful person and once again, I enjoy your posts. PTSD is kicking your ass right now. You have to know that you fit in anywhere and everywhere you want to be...

 

[anthony]

I haven't slept in 5 days and I cry at the drop of a hat

You're not a bad person, you haven't done anything wrong, and the above quote is likely the problem with your internalising critical self right now.

No, your son cannot come on here and tell anyone off... he will get banned, he will get you banned.

 

[Notsowild]

Sorry just had to come on to say... Just a son protecting his Mom. He's a great son. I knew he couldn't come on here. But wanted to say thanks @anthony for everything.

 

[theotherside]

@Notsowild Hi I don't know all of what happened or what was said but I just wanted to say sorry for how you feel and hope things are better for you soon.

 

[Neverthesame]

@Notsowild For what it's worth, after reading all of this thread. My opinion of you has not changed. I see you are a kind well meaning person. Battling a disabling condition that (pardon my expression here) can drive a person nuts.

I most certainly do not feel manipulated either. I have seen a misunderstanding between alot of people who are doing their best to try to make sense of something, hard to understand let alone interpret and then put into words. Something huge to alot of us. Something very painful.

I apologize for rambling. I just felt the need to say that.

 

[sun seeker]

Feelings are not reality. The heart needs tempering with the mind. What feels good is not always right, and what feels bad is not always wrong. Critical thinking and analysis. I would go so far as to say emotional people need it more than anyone.

I'm not saying this is wrong, but can I add something to it? This is a "yes, AND..."

Remember that emotions and thoughts are not the only two ways we can know things. True, emotions can be bad advisers when we're stuck in fight or flight mode. How do we know if we're scared because there is something to be scared of or because we were triggered by something we didn't even notice at the time? We don't. That's where hypervigilance comes in and messes up our ability to believe in ourselves.

But there are other ways of knowing. Paying attention to body sensations is one. That's one thing I like so much about somatic therapies. In my experience, and respecting that everyone is different, the more of this kind of work I do the more able I am to bring down the emotional uproar and get in touch with my intuition (which is another way of knowing, but its voice is pretty quiet).

In the ancient Egyptian mystery schools, they teach that humans are supposed to have something like five hundred senses. That's not the exact number, but I'd have to do more searching than I have the inclination for at the moment to find the exact quote. Then think of the techniques shamans and intuitives around the world use to connect with information from other levels of reality. They're not sitting down and thinking logically, they're getting very quiet inside and using senses that don't have names in the English language to access information we couldn't possibly find through either logic or emotion.

So yes, training ourselves to use logic and reason is important. I just had to chime in here with a reminder that there's a lot more out there.

 

[Lucycat]

CBT basic principles are correcting cognitive distortions

... and very small children are being told that their very rational thoughts are cognitive distortions that need correcting. They are told this day in day out until they believe it and believe the 'new' way of thinking about something. They are not receiving CBT, they are not in therapy they are being abused and their thinking is changed to make them believe that every thing is OK and perfectly normal. That is why they keep secrets. I don't particularly like the word 'brainwashing' but I certainly see how the link is made between aiding people to change the way they think ( in a positive way) and the experience of being in that position as a child.

 

[moonbeam]

Brainwashing as a child involved telling the child things to distort the way they view the world. A child doesn't naturally have something bad happen like abuse and think "I like this" or "I deserve this" or any other manipulative BS. They have be told those things and manipulated into believing them.

With CBT a good practitioner shouldn't be telling you what to think. They should be asking you to question your thought process.

I once thought when I first going to sessions and was going to be late for the first time (it was like the 3rd session), "I'm going to be late, I have to hurry up, if I'm late the building will burn to the ground and kill everyone inside and it'll be all my fault." I laugh about it now but I was very distraught almost in tears when I arrived 2 minutes late. It was not on fire by the way.

I told her and she asked "Can you walk me through your thought process?" And I did and had to admit that the building burning down and killing everyone was what my brain had decided was the worst thing that could happen. I don't have the ability to start or stop fires with my mind, so my attendance wouldn't have impacted on any fire related incidents. Nor could it have caused a fire in the first place. She didn't tell me I was being irrational she asked me to look at the way I thought to see it for myself. And asked me if I could approach it from any other angles and at what the real worst case would be. CBT is supposed to be about asking questions of yourself to recognise bad thought processes and choose to stop yourself and slowly change them. I find it really good for anxiety because I'm usually making massive jumps and can try to ask myself if I am making a jump and what the real worst case scenario would be and then how likely that actually is.

It doesn't involve the practitioner telling you what to think or trying to brainwash you, and if they do than it isn't being done properly and isn't CBT.