Wow My Dad Is Getting Angry At Me For Let Him Know What Happened

[munkinmama]

Email I sent him
Dad do not get Andrew to reply to this if you are really concern you be the one to contact me. I have included Andrew in this email so I have a witness to what I said and so he knows NOT to be the one to speak for you.

I am in tears right now hearing my own father would rather blame me for disclosing what I went through instead of being a support. You making statements like I am always bring up the past you know what I relive that horrors of my past daily. I deal with flashback daily and nightmares nightly so I am apologize I even attempted to have you a part of my life. You are not even making an effort to contact me. I have told you to call me on my cell and gave you my cell number, or email me. You are not showing any once of concern but would rather blame me for a lot of things....HOW DARE YOU!!!!!! I have gone through hell ....... experience abuse of all kinds, being raped not once but many times. Are you even concerned or able to show any once of compassion instead of blaming me? You are more concerned about WHY I sent the email to you and Andrew rather then what I was telling you. I sent the email so I would not have you interrupting me and I could finally say what I needed to. As well it is very difficult for me to talk about what I went through it is easier to write it down. Are you ashamed of me? Why does it anger you so much that I attempted to share this difficult part of my life with you? I have heard about conversation you have had with others others and you are so angry at me. I do not understand why. I had hoped and prayed you would be a support but it is clear you do not wish to be for I have heard nothing for you directly rather third hand information. The more I hear you are so angry with upsets me more. I have been seeking your acknowledgement and acceptance for so long only to turn away it makes me wonder why do I try. This has been an extremely hard time for me especially after having one of my attackers contacting me again. I have spent the past few days in bed unless I have to leave to run an errand or go to an appointment.

I struggle everyday no one even knows unless they walk in my shoes.


(what I posted on facebook that applies as this is not the first time I have had a negative backlash for disclosing )



*pet peeve and rant*
I have endured a lot in my life. What really get to me is when I disclose what I have been through I have had people ask everyone around like my family and friends about MY situation rather then putting in the effort to contact me. Yes talking about it is a trigger but please give me the chance to determine what I want others to know. Over the years I have requested that people do NOT talk to others about MY situation my reason is because I do not want misconceptions, assumption and no one is in my shoes so they have NO idea what I have gone through, do not feel MY feelings, do not experience MY emotions so talking to other people is not going to give you the correct information. I am very good at hiding when I am NOT ok so asking others is not going to tell you if I am ok or not unless you TALK to me. I have also had over the years had people turn what I just told them into them being the victim. The is a slap in my face.It is different if you have been in a similar situation and say oh yes I understand BUT to turn everything I just share to make it about you is just so wrong. I took the time to share what I went through I am NOT trying to compete with you. I am not going to say my experiences are worst or tame compared to what you went through so stop making it out to be about you are more of a victim then I am. We all handle situations differently. Also by you going to other people instead of coming to me gives me the impression you are not really concerned about me or you only want gossip or trying to cause drama(something like that) .

STOP BEING A COWARD AND COME TALK TO ME....geesh

*steps off of soapbox*

 

[Deleted member 1860]

uhm is that your real name? You might want to edit out that link.....

 

[Ladyghosthunter]

Honey, if I were with you, I'd hug you so tight and let you cry.
My parents did the same thing to me when it came to abuse and they got angry with me because THEY didn't want to hear it or they refused to deal with the issue. It's NOT YOU! They have an issue with what happened and the guilt they feel about not doing anything about it reigns supreme.
The unfortunate thing about family and their huge mouths (I know) is that they talk a lot but never are there to support you when you need it. You went through Hell. Where were they? Do you have to scream to tell them of your abuse? I feel (and felt) like I had to, thus becoming the family "drama queen" (their words, not mine).
Talk to a counselor immediately and don't talk to them about the situation ever again. If this is how you're going to be treated, then remove them from your "line of sight" and get to your healing. They don't matter if they don't care....

 

[still_i_rise]

Rule #1 - Never seek validation from family regarding trauma.

Sorry, I'm being snotty. But so far it's proven itself true for me.

My husband has PTSD. This weekend he finally shared some of the trauma he endured to his father and sister. His dad was detached and both were dismissive and his sister pretty much called him a liar. I wanted to grab the phone out of his hand and tell them to f*ck OFF!!
He's had others throw back at him that his PTSD is his own fault.
I want to throat punch all of them.

I agree with @Ladyghosthunter . It's not your job to make them understand the hell you've gone through and are going through.

Take care of yourself.

 

[Ladyghosthunter]

Rule #1 - Never seek validation from family regarding trauma.

Bingo. Most family brush the issue under the carpet as if it never happened because "something like this NEVER happens in MY family.
Families are well known for their blinders on/blinders off approach in difficult situations.

 

[munkinmama]

wow this was his reply and mine back

My Dad's reply
I will but I don't like being treated as a emery when others aren't. I have done nothing. I find it to bad a week ago encourage you to accept or refused to you changing your phone number . Why is it only Andrew and I the only ones getting your emails as if we are the only ones who are causing you the reason you are in the state you find yourself . What have we done but to encourage you to visit if you can but you can't that is ok to

My reply back
OMFG really were you NOT reading what i said. It was f*cking easier to write about what f*cking happened to me then actually calling you up and say hey dad guess what i just got contacted by one of the f*cking men who raped me. Why are you so f*cking focused on the fact I sent an email rather then the content of the email. What the f*ck does it matter who I sent emails to. i was trying to explain some of what I went through. You are more focused on the fact you got an email ....OMFG REALLY!!!!! And do not you dare make this about you because this is what is feels like you are doing.

Just forget it. I will not bother you again or open up to again because you can not see that sometimes it is easier for ME to write difficult things down especially of this nature. I am in tears and shaking right now as this has upset me a great deal that you are so worried about something so petty