Freaking Out

[Lw715]

I start my partial hospitalization program today and am freaking out. Ive never done anything like this and im afraid of group therapy..i dont want peopleto judge me or make fun of me. Im kind of freaking out in the parking lot and want to drive away. I feel like i really am the loser who needs to get her head out of her ass like my attacker told me i am... Oh God

 

[GrokkingAmbivert]

I have been to these kind of programs before and after being diagnosed with PTSD. Everyone feels the same as you do before going in there! No one will make fun of you or judge you! Everyone has been through their own stuff too! I bet they're worried you'll make fun or judge them! Please don't be nervous! Slow deep breaths and remember that just like you, the people in their want to get better too!

Prayers are heading your way @Lw715

 

[City Slicker]

Your attacker is a liar. You are valued and a worthwhile person and you are feeling anxious about a new situation. As @ReaganLove said, I believe everyone else in the room today will also be anxious with tapes from long ago playing in their heads.

You are talking a really positive step today. One step at a time.

 

[garden]

Group therapy has helped me immensely in the past. It is a place where everyonte actually understands PTSD and I never felt judged. It's natural to feel something the first time you go. I remember feeling really vulnerable, and then it changed to feeling held and safe.

You deserve this.

 

[Spiderallis]

You're making a big step in the right direction and that can be scary. I just completed a similar program myself, so I remember how nervous I was walking in the first time. It'll be okay, once you're inside it's a 'safe space' to work on your troubles with support and other people who can offer a different perspective. I hope the partial hospital helps you a much as it did me. The first day is the hardest, but it'll be worth it. Partial hospital programs are a great resource and I'm glad you're getting that kind of help.

 

[Justmehere]

Your attacker was wrong.

Take it one step at a time - even litterally. Make the goal to walk in. Just walk in the door. If you do nothing else, then you can at least be proud that you walked in the door. Many people would never have the courage to even sign up!

I was freaked out when I was first trying to do a intensive treatment program. It took all I had to just walk in, and keep waking in, and it was SO WORTH IT.

:hug:

 

[joeylittle]

What everyone said. @Lw715, I was scared out of my mind the first one I did. I had never done groups, had really never done mental health, had no clue what it would be like but knew I'd be the odd one out, and after the first day was over I cried and cried and didn't want to go back. But I went back. I'm really glad I did. You will be glad too. You don't have to do anything but be present, listen, and probably tell them the word for your mood that day and rate it on a scale from 1-10. That stressed me out also, but actually, it's not like it's a question you can fail at.

Hang in.

 

[shrinkingviolet]

You are not a loser by any means. You are strong and are fighting to reclaim your life, not allowing your attacker to dictate or take away anymore. This isn't going to be easy but it willl be so worth it. I think you are very brave and send you hugs and prayers. :hug:

 

[Nam]

You are brave! With each step, you are shedding the power your attacker has over you.

 

[KwanYingirl]

We have more in common with the outside world, but with PTSD, we tend to isolate and lose perspective. I got a lot out of an intensive out patient group program and I have faith that you will too. Just having some pre group jitters like the rest of your group. Soak it in and see how much better you'll feel!

 

[Dana1010]

I feel like i really am the loser who needs to get her head out of her ass like my attacker told me i am... Oh God

I just want to say that I really related to this--and I guess that speaks to the power of group therapy; mutual relating pulls you out of your dark corner and provides a cleansing. I've never tried it myself, because I can't seem to find any good options in my area. Anyway, do you think my abuser was right when he laughed at me and belittled me and told me (not in so many words) that I have my head up my ass? I sure as hell don't think yours was.