Ptsd Lifestyle - Living The Gentle Life

[shimmerz]

A Psychology Today article that speaks to moving forward and regaining a life that is conducive to the low stress lifestyle necessary for sufferers in recovery. I like the way it speaks about how we can put so much effort into 'healing' but without learning how not to jump back into our normal stressful routine, the effort we put into healing can be like an open wound - continually reopened because we did not take care of it.

I know at the beginning of my PTSD I just wanted to do what I used to do. The stress of that lifestyle I realize, now years later, would get me sick again immediately. That type of thinking is no longer part of my end goal. I am carefully looking at the lay of the land and attempting to make adjustments as to my thoughts on what I can/should actually be able to expect of myself now that I am no longer symptomatic and planning my 'new life'.

The article is six pages long. You will notice links for each section of the article in the right sidebar. It speaks about pathological relationships, which I have been in but are not my major concern, so am retrofitting for developmental trauma with an eye open how my primary trauma has affected my relationships (friends and partners) during my lifetime. I hope it can help someone.

I would be very interested in your comments (specifically relating to the advice on changing lifestyle to balance stress properly) as well, as I am actively attempting to move forward. I am not certain that I am 'far enough away' from this issue to be able to see it with the clarity I need right now. Thank you.

Link Removed

 

[Glara]

It was an interesting article that made a lot if sense. It said you don't have to move away to a mountain, but rather try to control what you can what you can.

I know for me it helps just to put on my flannel pjs and a tee shirt as soon as I get home from work. When I feel pressure at work I put on soothing music. I listen to the music loop played in the Living Seas section of Epcot. It's very ambient and during portions of it you can hear the dolphins. I'm lucky most of my coworkers like Disney lol. I also like to watch reruns of sitcoms. Shows I know well that I don't have to concentrate on, that use humor to lighten a serious situation. I think of it as brain candy. If I'm really down I will avoid watching or reading the news.

These are some things I do to help relieve stress. I don't suffer from ptsd but I do have bouts of depression and I'm not on any meds. I don't know if these types of things would be harder for a sufferer but they are pretty basic and seem to help me a lot.

 

[cindymolly]

Hi @shimmerz, I really like what the article says. I have DID not PTSD but I think the article is relevant to many conditions. My life is very gentle at the moment as I can't cope with very much at all, as soon as I add too much I stop functioning. I prioritise exercise, meditation, therapy, art, writing. I work but it is very low stress. I don't really socialise at all. I want to change this last one as I am missing people, but I need to add them in slowly I realise. I haven't got the balance I want yet, but I am now functioning and before, when I had lots of people around me and a high stress job, I wasn't.

 

[Queen Boudica]

It's and interesting approach, but is this reality? Not for me anyway, I have 3 kids with health issues, my own health issues, I'm alone, I have virtually no support, escaped an abusive marriage and he is still lurking and could blow me away in court. No family. This article is fantasy island. Not all of us can choose to have that relaxed lifestyle. Some of us have to carry on and live in that stress. So nice idea that article but I don't think it reflects reality.

 

[The Albatross]

Liked the article in general and especially this bit: "The one thing you can count on about PTSD, is when your AREN'T taking care of yourself, your body will SCREAM IT! Your life cannot be the crazy-filled life you may watch others live. Your need for exercise, quiet, healthy food, spirituality, tension release, and joy are as necessary as oxygen for someone with PTSD. Walking the gentle path is your best guard against more anxiety, and your best advocate for peace."

In recovery, a sense of peace and calm was the first thing I wanted/needed and from where just about all else comes from.

 

[scout86]

Interesting. I guess my first reaction is "Just shoot me now!" I should probably read it again.

For ME, if I "have" to live my life sneaking around, trying to avoid stuff, it's more trouble than it's worth. To me, the importance of figuring out what "triggers" are is to learn how to better deal with them, not how to avoid them. I have a job that at least some people think is "dangerous". I love what I do! Give it up? Shoot me now! Someday I'll probably have to give it up. Maybe then I'll take up sky diving.

The best sense of "peace and calm" comes from inside your mind. It's true that you have to appreciate where you are NOW and what you're capable of NOW and that you are best off in accepting that in a non-judgmental way. But I also think it's true that if you argue for your limitations, they're yours.

I just started reading "Tao Te Ching". It was mentioned in a book my T suggested so I decided to check it out. Pretty interesting. Kind of reminds me of "radical acceptance". It's both simple and too complicated to explain. But it's a way of thought that internalizes "peace". And it reminds me a lot more of parts of the Bible than I expected it would.

"Stress" doesn't come from the world. It comes from our reactions to the world. That's a choice. I'll grant that PTSD seems (current state of learning) to involved some changes to the wiring in the brain that heighten our threat perception. Yes, in a given situation we will "feel stress". I think it's what comes next that's important.

As far as whether or not you can do the things you did before/ live the way you did before..... Maybe that wasn't all that good in the first place? Just a thought. But there IS no such thing as life without stress or risk. When I try to imagine it, all I can come up with is "boring and meaningless".

There has to be a balance. If all you do is strive to be "safe" I think you'll miss a lot and die in the end anyway.

 

[Queen Boudica]

Exactly stress is a part of life. If you go round avoiding it completely, you don't live. My kids are stress, but what would my life be without them? No I refuse to accept that PTSD means I can't live the life I should be. And really stress free that is 1st World fantasy. I need to learn to deal with stress and it is far more important than if I did not have PTSD but so does everybody else. Yes incorporate stress relief strategies in our life is very important, exercise, diet, breathing, but I don't believe trying to avoid stress altogether is feasible or a good thing. Stress is life. And I think a lot of people are thinking they can't cope and must avoid stress at all cost and that just leads to stagnation and depression if you ask me.

 

[joeylittle]

This quote:

"Stress" doesn't come from the world. It comes from our reactions to the world. That's a choice.

plus this quote:

Exactly stress is a part of life. If you go round avoiding it completely, you don't live.

is truth on a stick :tup:

Doesn't mean it's not an awful lot of work to learn to shift how we react to the world, but that's where the work is. And if you can afford to drop out of life for three months and focus only on that, awesome, I guess. Though you still have to carry it back to the unfettered world.

 

[Queen Boudica]

Oh yes. No-one said it was easy. Think there is this myth that life is supposed to be easy. It's not. Never has been. We are lucky we have education, we do have resources, we can make use of them. Our brains are amazing. We have this condition and that makes it hard and so easy to get overwhelmed. Triggers are hell they put you into that thinking pattern, so easy to spiral downwards. But you know what, I very often find I hit real low, and then I come back with much more insight and strength. It feels like it has knocked me out, but actually because I am more aware of the process, I get more insight in what is going on. You can only get better by pushing the boundaries and that involves stress. Least that's how I see it at the moment. Sometimes you get completely overwhelmed and you can't face anything. But that's OK. It happens, then you catch a wave and you realise you moved on more than you ever thought. Mind you, if you are in the abusive situation, that is not good. You do have to get yourself away from that kind of stress. That is no compromise. No abusers to pull you down. That's toxic. Get poison people out of your life. Stress from those people is the equivalent of a nuclear explosion. You can't live that for long.

 

[Hope4Now]

Thank you for posting this @shimmerz. It speaks directly to what I consider one of the major challenges of PTSD for people who have always had it and don't know life before PTSD. So we take on what we think we're supposed to...live life and make choices that we think are our own SELF choices, but really are just trying to live up to others' expectations and fit our alien selves into the world somehow.

Then the whole house of cards collapses.

For me, at least, learning how to deal with the stress/anxiety of my existing life simply does not work. I will not get better unless things change and I can figure out how to live this gentle life of which she writes. Figure out how to live my life as my SELF and not as the person I thought I was. I know this on a deep level, yet I can't figure it out how to make the changes and parts of me believe I have no right to make the changes (and blah, blah...lots of warring parts inside).

There are really hard choices to be made for people like us. You've made some of them yourself, and it's so exciting to hear you talking about building a new life.

I DO wonder often whether some of the differing opinions about how best to deal with PTSD come from the hugely significant differences of the age at which the trauma occurred and the level of structural dissociation involved.

 

[Queen Boudica]

I don't think so. I had major trauma as a child and throughout life and have been dissociated ever since. I just have 3 kids and stress is there all the time. You can't get rid of it. You know change of lifestyle is maybe an option for some. But not for others. We cope the best we can. We make use of all the tools, but getting into arguments about differences in trauma levels and levels dissociation doesn't help.

 

[Powder]

I think it is good that some of us are even at the point of seeing the possibility of internalizing some kind of peace as part of the lifestyle as a possibility.

As some have said above, that does not even make sense in some cases. With small children in the home (good stress for the most part) there is always going to be a steady supply of stress. Logically, it would be good for the parent to make some efforts to internalize whatever peace is forthcoming, in order to manifest that for her own, and also, for the children's sake.

As a PTSD, structural dissociation sufferer and wife/mother, I often wish I felt better for my family so that I could bring them a "me" with more peace inside. I am making efforts toward that, but even those seem to rebound. For instance, I'm cutting down on caffeine, and this helps with my anxiety and hypervigilance (less jumpy!) but then I feel more depressed. I hope this problem passes.

Disorders are self-perpetuating. If doing a little yoga cured them, then they wouldn't be a disorder. But there is no harm at all in locating significant symptom reduction methods that work for your lifestyle.

I find gardening, walking, being outside in sunlight, and eating more veg makes my life feel better.

But acceptance that I'll always have PTSD seems necessary to work with it.

I have a deformed spine also, and have a life history of chronic back pain. Once I stopped looking for ways out of it and just accepted that I will always have back pain, I haven't noticed it that much. It's always there in the background, but acceptance changed my perception. I no longer rail against it or notice it. It's just part of me. I have a bit of peace about it. The pain I perceive is less the more I accept it. I don't know if it's a coincidence, but I don't think so.