Walked Out On Therapy Session... Now What?

[BlueOrange]

I'm very glad to have helped, and grateful to be told that I helped. I'm getting a few benefits from this conversation right now:

1. I feel less alone, and am reminded that it's possible to have these problems, and for good things to happen
2. I'm reminded that most people I deal with would prefer for good things to happen for me
3. I'm reminded that there are certain difficulties that I probably won't have to face ever again (like the anger management guy who pissed me off so badly that I would be enraged, and go home and take it out on my family)
4. I'm reminded that my (flawed) shrink is so much better than the dozen or so others that I've tried to work with, who rarely had any positive impact at all
5. I've been prompted to write this list, which ties in nicely to my current therapy homework (identify times when people have been compassionate towards me and rate them out of 10)

Thank you for contributing positively towards the 'background radiation' of goodwill that I'm learning to detect.

 

[Friday]

I'm a little confused...

Was she saying that it's
- abusing the friendship
- abusing trust
- abusing your friend
- your friend abusing you
- questioning if you often get abusive when triggered
- pointing out verbal or physical abuse within the friendship or outburst
- ?

And "it's" being the push/pull or specifically the outburst?

 

[Born to Run]

"You might want to find a better way to think of that." And he's been right

Of course, when said in this manner, I would not mind either. My therapist does this too. However, being told to stop, has another connotation to me.

@FridayJones It is my understanding that @sweetcandy told her therapist about her pattern in relationships in which she pulls and then pushes the other person away, and that the therapist called this behaviour of sweetcandy abuse. I could not find your other point with "it's".

To me it sounds like a therapist, who is not on your side, but instead accusing you. This does not seem like a safe environment for therapy to me.

 

[Friday]

@Born to Run

"It's abusive" being the statement that is just a mystery wrapped in an enigma for me.

There are just soooo many possible interpretations, because there are so many moving parts she might have been referring to. The push pull is one, for sure, but even that one? Has three or four own unique areas that might be being referred to.

And most (if not all) of those interpretations aside from that one are arguable:

- It can be abusive/manipulative to cut off contact, or it can be good boundaries.
- An outburst can be abusive (often are, in fact), but it can also just be loud or disturbing / causing a scene rather than actively attacking someone.
- etc.

One of the things I've learned in my own life is that short simple statements surround complicated topics? Usually need a "How do you mean?" attached to it. Because the picture they have in their mind, is often radically different from the picture I have in my own. She didn't even say "You were being abusive.", much less to whom (self, friend, friendship, etc.)... So the whole thing is just really unclear in my mind.

 

[Born to Run]

"It's abusive"

Sorry, but I did a page search on page 1 and can not find the phrase "It's abusive". No problem, I agree with you that it was not the most exact sentence with the word abuse in it, which indeed can be cause for misinterpretation.