Do You Feel Feelings.

[Autumn76]

I'm still a work in progress. I usually feel emotions and react to them (cry, laugh, smile, have something play the heart strings, etc) when I've been triggered I'll sometimes go a week where I can fake them sometimes.

I am a woman.

 

[Fadeaway]

@itsKismet No not recently, more like a couple months ago. I think I assumed too much with my statement.

The turn out on this thread has been awesome. It is really fascinating.

 

[SnowJo]

@SnowJo, @itsKismet had a legitimate reason for asking based on th...

Hope all is OK for you. Keep safe, be your own best friend where ever possible. Everyone has emotions, whether they recognize it or not. How it gets translated and communicated to you is what you need to notice, and understand what effect that has on you. Keep communicating and don't be afraid to feedback what you notice from people who claim not to have emotions, as long as it's safe and there's no danger to them or you, then it's growth opportunity

 

[SnowJo]

I was like looking at a rock; very little would affect me. Then I started getting comments from people...

Fight back and allow yourself feelings but treat yourself with tenderness and have a plan... like movie or popcorn or have a bath with candles or something special to soothe afterwards...

 

[katz]

I grew up in a very "un-emotional" family. The only emotion that was there was---anger. Lots of yelling. I have a very hard time with loud noises to this day. Like all of you, I want to feel. The biggest problem that I have is that, when I have "felt" before, it put me in the hospital--all 3 times. I just broke down. I over reacted to the situation. One was the death of a friend, the other one was earlier, when I thought he was going to die. So, the only way for them to deal with me was to check me into a mental hospital. Behind locked doors! --Not a nice place to be, when you are so afraid and want to escape. Since my last stay, I am very afraid of "feeling". I am soooo scared that I will be put back into the hospital, and maybe be locked up!
I know that all this sounds very contradictory, but it is the only way to try and explain it.

 

[SnowJo]

I grew up in a very "un-emotional" family. The only emotion that was there was---anger. Lots of yelling. I...

I believe you have the right to.be anyway you need as long as you aren't harming others or yourself. Emotions happen anyway so don't worry you don't have to force anything. Safety first and your happiness and safety comes first. I completely understand if all you want is calm and you have the right to that!

 

[sugnim]

Another thread spurred a discussion between my husband and I. A little while later he asked me, "Do yo...

Great question. I feel feelings as physical sensations for sure. I feel them in my chest, my face, my arms, my back. Anger is a very strong physical sensation for me, as is frustration. I feel those in my forearms and my cheeks. Saddness feels like I can't breathe, or like there is a hollowness to my chest and lungs. Happiness feels like energy on my back and eyes. There are some emotions that I experience as physical sensations that I can't really put into words. I love music, and there are emotions that I experience when I listen to some music that are very physical, but I can't tell you what exactly those emotions are. Even holding back some emotions feels like a physical effort. For example, trying to hide depression or trying to keep my temper from exploding feel like the same physical effort it might take to push a very large and heavy object. I never knew that others experienced this as well.

 

[ground crew]

I got traumatized early, life threat a couple of times before kindergarten. I was called high strung. I could only feel anger, and sadness for no good reason. My emotions were safely turned off til I went to an EST workshop designed to reconnect people with their feelings. Worked well and I went on an emotional roller coaster for a couple of years, may just be approaching the end of the ride but life got weird and maybe we will go around one more time!!!

When the emotion switch was flipped on, I went on a crying jag that seemed never to quit. I bounced around a little bit on which memories were triggering the jag. It interfered with work. Plus, I was in the middle of trying to heal a relationship, more correctly, the woman I was in "relationship" with informed me we would be going here rather than conventional therapy. She went through first and experienced it "right". I did not. So, Data (star trek reference) got his emotion chip turned on and had an unfortunate side effect of flashbacks an disturbing memories. I really didn't have much time left to repair the relationship, she abandoned me. But she still accepts the support payments. And periodically grabs a lawyer to terrorize me with.

I have the greatest daughter!

How do I FEEL? I try to avoid feeling, a lot harder since I got emotions. I am asked "isn't it better to have emotions?" I am still waiting on a final answer to that question. I am aware of feeling love for my children, that dog I use as an avatar (he died, guess who cried!!). Rage I got before. I feel a longing for camaraderie, until i go out in the world and meet people, then I feel they are stupid and or shallow. Does that make me superior? that's not how I feel.....

 

[Changing4Best]

Yes, I feel feelings in my body, especially anxiety, which I feel in the upper abdomen. I get an uneasy feeling there, which goes away sometimes when I pray to God to take it away. I am grateful that He does.

 

[SnowJo]

I got traumatized early, life threat a couple of times before kindergarten. I was called high strung...

The effect trauma has on how I feel is the challenge for me. Some parts are working well in my life and some aren't. I avoid lots of things today as rage is not a pleasant experience anymore and hasn't been for a long time. I seek feelings of love and connection from nature and my daughter and grandkids. Sadly she experiences a lot globalized anger and that's what keeps me focused on "getting weller" so that I can be the good mother I always wanted to be. It really causes a lot of distress for me at times, triggers and flashbacks have greatly reduced through psychotherapy but just dealing with all the grief is very "heavy" in terms of feelings. In the same breath to see her smile and laugh makes my day and to see my grandsons smile and laugh is so precious, I melt with joy and the connection puts Love into perspective. The work has been worth it.

I struggle with the intensity of emotions, I don't take any meds ( when I tried all I did was sleep all day, and when I went for walks would have to lie down every 50 meters so no meds for ne) but recently I found I did need more hormones to balance out the intensity of feelings due just to that change of life time.

I experienced great joy on a dog walk the other day. We covered a large track and both dogs were happy to take a rest under the most beautiful sky and in a quiet pleasant field under a tree. I felt relaxed which is something I rarely feel. I once spent 5 years hypnotizing myself every day to "relax" and someone pointed out I sounded like a hypnotist and cane across very calm.... but what they didn't see was what goes on inside, thus was an effort to calm my terrorized self... and it actually did not reach those parts. I feel I need a combination now but I am a bit nervous to overuse hypnosis again as it is a form of disassociation.... but a healthy one if used properly. OK rambling.. got to get out and take dogs for a walk.

 

[ground crew]

The effect trauma has on how I feel is the challenge for me. Some parts are working well in my life and s...

I refuse drugs also. This is not the VA way, so it has been a battle. I do workout and try to be mindful and am doing at least as well as drugs would have. I'm afraid of side effects of drugs. This goes for the type2 diabetics as well, no drugs. This makes the tag team of doctors nuts. They wrote me up as an uncooperative patient. That would have been a bad thing, but the blood work showedy way worked!

 

[SnowJo]

I refuse drugs also. This is not the VA way, so it has been a battle. I do workout and try to be min...

Is that your dog... gorgeous!