"difficult" Employees?

[Mammo]

Hi guys...

Would appreciate a sanity check here...

I would like to go back to the company I used to work for (5.5 years) - but I am concerned that HR would "block" my coming back because they know too much about me?

e.g. I had severe depression a few years ago (after what I guess people would describe as rape) and an attempt, which landed me in hospital - yet the company was brilliant and supportive.

Last year depression came back and I had to take 3 weeks off work. Prior to letting me return my then boss required me to see a psychologist...I wanted to run for the hills because after the frightening inpatient experience I truly hated all people connected to psychiatry or psychology. I lied to the T, and got better on my own.

Then all this stuff about my family got opened up, e.g. T telling me we were abused as kids ("what do you mean that's not normal?!" then finding out my dad still hits my mum.

This was a massively difficult period as I simply couldn't believe what this T had said...felt like I was literally losing my mind.

Work was my primary coping mechanism (since I was a teenager) - so I started throwing myself into work more and more, to try to distract myself from this recurring "Tape" of cr*p going round and round my head.

I disagreed with my boss, and he ended up firing me, (in the guise of a redundancy) because he decided he didn't like me anymore. Quote, "the only reason you do 'x' is to validate your intelligence and sense of self worth..."

I want a job in a different part of the company - will HR just look at all my history of the above and go, "nah"? (to set the context if helpful - this is banking/finance sector).

 

[Casey_03]

I think you need to write a very open, honest and heartfelt letter to either your former boss or HR, explaining why you refused to see a psychologist before. I doubt that your boss actually disliked you; he probably was just disappointed because he wanted to keep you on. Either way, it's worth a try to go back. People can surprise you sometimes and be oddly understanding.

 

[Mammo]

I think you need to write a very open, honest and heartfelt letter to either your former boss or HR, ex...

Hi @Casey_03 - unfortunately my former boss told me a few months ago, in true flippant style, "it wasn't entirely about your personality" - by which I assume he means, only about 95% to do with my personality (!!)

They know why I didn't see the psychologist, I told my former boss after I left. There was several months in between being made to see the T and the disagreements which led to me being terminated.

I appreciate you're advice, but these people already knew quite a lot...e.g. when the T later told me about things being "abuse" I told my boss, because I thought he should know in case I needed to go to Doctors' appointments; but also to give him a heads up in case I was even more random than normal at work...

A couple of weeks after that I found out about my dad hitting my mum - and my boss was the person I turned to for advice on what/how/if anything I should do about it. I trusted him a great deal.

He sacked me 7 weeks later...

So, he did know quite a lot...and yet did it anyway, which made it all the more devastating.

I don't know if HR would be any better/different/more understanding...?

 

[Ice_Fire]

Honestly, I am wondering why you want to go back and work for the same company?

On paper they can't reject you outright based on your work and mental health history, but whether they'd find a reason, or not even put you past the initial paper sift is anyone's guess. Bear in mind they may have a clause or something which prevents people who've been asked to leave/made redundant/whatever from reapplying, even in a different part of the company.

The company were supportive until they were out of their depth. Then they abandoned you and you got made redundant 7 weeks later, which I imagine made you feel betrayed. So...why go back?

I think you'd do better to move on with your life and have a fresh start somewhere new. The finance sector has plenty of opportunities I imagine? It does in most places.

 

[Mammo]

Honestly, I am wondering why you want to go back and work for the same company?

On paper they can't r...

Hi @Ice_Fire I hear what you're saying...I tried working somewhere else...I've interviewed for multiple jobs at other places.

The reality is, if I'm going to work in the area I work in, from Sydney, my former company is actually the best place to work. Not to mention the fact that literally every friend I have in this country (i'm a brit) works there. I loved the company I worked for, and for the most part, the people I worked with.

Granted, my former boss turned out not to be the man I thought he was...but I don't think everyone who works there is like that.

I know HR have a "do not re-hire" list...(with the incredibly apt acronym "DNR")...I just hope I'm not on it.That would be the worst.

 

[Ice_Fire]

Ah, well I think in that case then, all you can do is apply and hope you're not on their DNR list. Not that they'd tell you if you were, you'd just have an unsuccessful application. Also, I checked your little flag thing and wondered if you were an expat, you write with a British accent. :p

 

[Friday]

I want a job in a different part of the company - will HR just look at all my history of the above and go, "nah"? (to set the context if helpful - this is banking/finance sector).

No way to know without trying.

So, he did know quite a lot...and yet did it anyway, which made it all the more devastating.

My experience is that most jobs outside of the mental health industry want to know as little as possible about their employees personal business. Too much crossover / bringing personal problems into work? Most commonly results in a person being let go.

It tends to be boundary issues, IMO, more than anything. While it can be wall to wall personal schtuff after-hours, as long as during work hours there's not a peep? If anything, more respect rather then less. But when the boundaries get blurred and employees or coworkers personal lives are spilling into work hours? It's distracting at best, and damaging at worst (not just to individual relationships, but to company morale as a whole).

IME, while warning someone that XYZ may b a problem in the future may seem like the honest thing to do... What that does from a managerial standpoint is not only make it a problem now but a lengthy and continued problem until such a time as the problem actually does (or does not) happen. Because it paints an arrow of doubt/question over an employee's head. Will they be here tomorrow? Next week? Can I depend on them? No. Better find someone else. What about now? Is it affecting their performance now? If they're telling me, their boss, then I have to assume they're telling others, have been telling others. Have I missed the signs of people being upset? Crap. How is that affecting their work? Where is morale? Where is output? Cripes. Better start hailing everyone in for reviews and chats. Dammit. I have work to be doing that is not babysitting!

Again, IME, the better route is to use the old adages... When is something a problem? When it's a problem! + Don't bring me problems, bring me solutions.

An employee coming in saying they have a personal matter to attend to & need a few days/weeks/months off to attend to it? Is bringing a solution. Solitons often have attached problems (who is going to cover for them, etc.) but those problems have well worn paths to their own solutions.

Sharing this info, having been on both sides of the street: an employee sharing too much info, and a boss dealing with an employee sharing too much info. There are variations of what constitutes TMI in every field. The above is just what I've learned in my own fields.